In Your Head

Life isn't fair.

"ISLA?!?!!" Dec screamed the window was broken and Islas crib was empty. Dec glanced at Ali the two of them were too frantic to cry. Ali had began to call the emergency services, there was no time to look whether she was hurt or had been kidnapped, the only way out was that window. Dec stared out the window and looked down there was nothing there besides a patch of flattened grass. Dec was in so much shock. How could life be so cruel. One minute you are laughing, and the next your secret is revealed and your daughter has been taken.

Dec could hear the faint wailing of sirens and Ali beginning to sob in the background. Dec could hear Anne quietly comforting her and he just stood there tears welling in his eyes causing his vision to go blurry. And he silently cried.

"Dec..." Ant spoke his name softly his voice was thick with emotion. Dec turned to face him. The two of them stood staring into each other's eyes. The didn't need to mind read to know what the other was feeling.

Time seemed to go in slow motion. To Dec it felt like an hour before the cops arrived, when in reality it had only been a few seconds. Dec hadn't spoke he didn't know what to say he wouldn't make a sound. The only communication he had had was with Ant, even then he only thought one word, and that word was, Why?...

"Decs can you like talk to me? Like with your voice." Ant asked. Dec shook his head. In this moment in time he didn't want anyone to touch him, or speak to him. At first the police had tried to question him but he refused to answer. "Dec, i'm worried about you." Ant placed a caring hand on his shoulder. Dec shrugged it off. He pivoted and barged inside hot tears quickly flowing down his cheeks. Dec headed swiftly to Isla's room, and locked himself inside. He buried his face in one of her stuffed animals.

"It's all my fault!" He cried out. He needed some way to dull the mental pain. He banged himself back first against the wall, again and again. His entire body hurt but it worked, he was now focused on his aching back. But it didn't last long he began to cry again. "Why! Why me?"

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Ant wasn't sure what to do, if he should try to comfort his distressed friend, or just leave him be. Dec hadn't spoken to him for the past hour, which was concerning because even when he is upset, he tends to be very talkative. Maybe I should check on him... But I don't want to bother him. I will leave him be. Ant concluded. Dec was fine...

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Dec had began to see spots he was really mad. Hitting himself against things. He was panting and bruises were forming all over his body. It all hurt so much. The dark spots were clouding his vision he leaned against a wall. It was all too much his legs were giving way and he was slumping to the ground. He was numb. I'm awful father... my daughter is taken and I didn't do anything to stop it. Why isn't Ant a father, he would be better at it. Dec couldn't stand the pain any longer. He gave up and let the darkness come over him.

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Now Ant was getting really worried, it had been about an hour since dec had disappeared into the house, and about an hour and a half since Isla was kidnapped. The police were still questioning them and searching the area for evidence. Luckily, Ant had yet to spot any unwanted cameras. He was torn between staying and eliminating any chance of Dec possibly being hurtful to him, or going up there to check if he was okay. Even Ali had began to get increasingly worried.

Ant soon came to a difficult conclusion, he was going to see if Declan was okay.

"Dec!" He called after entering the house, "Dec!" He was nearing the stairs, he had already looked around on the bottom floor. "DEC!!" He called even louder this time. All he could hear was the slight echo of his own voice, other than that it was just an eerie silence. Ant was becoming really worried. What if he did something stupid? "DEC, IF YOU ARE OK, YOU BETTER BLOODY ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!" No response. "That's it! I'm going to get a police officer and Ali. And don't say I didn't give you a chance, because I did."

Ant jogged back outside into the dark and told Ali what had happened along with a member of the police.

"Dec?" The three of them called once they got back inside. "I already checked everywhere downstairs, so he must be in one of the bedrooms." Ant said.

"Ok." The officer responded calmly. The three of them began to slowly make their way up the stairs. They first went to Dec and Ali's bedroom, then the guest room. They were both empty, which meant he was probably in Isla's room. The a horrible thought came to Ant. "Oh god, in Isla's room, there's glass, he could have cut himself!" This increased the sense of urgency.

They all jogged to isla's room, Ant turned the knob but it wouldn't budge. "He locked himself in there." Ant was getting frustrated, worried, and impatient. "Dec! Open up." No response.

"Mr. Donnelly, if you do not open this door we will have to break it down." The police officer said. No response. "Alright that's it, we need more people and something big." The lady left to get some more of her colleagues. Once she disappeared Ant began to cry for the first time that night. "Dec..." he whimpered pressing his cheek against the door.

'Dec please say you are ok.' Ant transferred his thoughts to Dec. 'Please. I'm proper cryin' out here.'

'Ant.' Dec thought to him.

'Dec. Decs, you ok.' Ant asked again. A spark of hope igniting in his stomach. 'Dec?' As soon as the spark had come it had gone and he began to cry more and more. Ali was doing her best to comfort him, but in this moment the only comfort he needed was that of his friend. Dec needn't touch him or speak, Ant just wanted to see his face, see him in one piece, that would bring him comfort and solace.

The lady returned, this time with several other officers and a massive wood log and that they were all having a hard time holding. "We found this outside, I hope you don't mind." One officer said. Ali shook her head and both her and Ant backed away from the door. The people got into position and swung the log towards the knob they had to do this twice until the door finally gave way. Ant was one of the first people to rush inside and see Dec sprawled out on the floor. Several bumps and bruises spattered all across his body.

'You nut-brained idiot. What did you do to yourself?'

The officers got to work trying to wake him Ant was helping too. Finally Dec grumbled something. "Decs..." The police pushed him away, and started to ask him questions.

"What is your name?" One asked

"Dec- Declan Joseph Oliver Donnelly" He grumbled in response.

"What year were you born?"

"1975"

"How old are you?"

"I'm 44."

"What is your best friends full name?"

"Anthony David McPartlin." He answered all of the questions quietly. His eyes were still hazy, and he looked slightly confused.

"Do you know what you are doing here?"

"No."

"Would you like to know?"

"Yes."

"Well it appears that you locked yourself in your daughters room, after she got kidnapped. And by the looks of it, you hit yourself against the wall, until you passed out. Also, your friend is very worried about you." Dec visibly winced. And Ant took a step closer. Despite the officers incessant warnings to stay down, Dec got up and stared at Ant. The other people left the room to give them some space. Ant felt suddenly angry.

"What the hell was that all about?" He asked Dec angrily.

"It's just why me? It's so unfair."

"Dec life isn't fair. I don't know what makes you think it is. If life was fair we'd be having a party 24/7. Do you think I asked to fall into a pit of depression? Leave you alone with no one? Huh? I'll have you know that I didn't. Yes your daughter has been taken, Yes it's unfortunate, but that doesn't give you the right to hide you feelings from others, to push them away. And that is what you did tonight. Do you remember how you felt when I didn't tell you about my problems? Not good. Yeah, think about that next time you lock yourself in a room with no one to help you."

Dec was crying now. "I'm sorry Ant, my emotions took hold of me. I'm really sorry." Ant forgot his rage and hugged Dec tight. "It's alright we can do this... together."