In Your Head

Alison's Despair (2)

(You may have noticed that I changed the title of the last chapter, that's because I forgot that that was supposed to be the title of this chapter :) Also, I am not a medical expert. I don't know much about sedatives so if I got it wrong i'm sorry)

Ali paced around Ant's house stopping to stare out every window eyes clouded with grief the sky had a silver glow to it. The clouds, heavy with rain, hovered over the neighbourhood. Ali wasn't the only one who was aimlessly searching for some sort of comfort, so was Ant but at least he had Anne, Ali had no one near her, most of her friends had gone off to see their families but Ali's family was in Australia and she couldn't go there, she had to stay and wait for her husband and her daughter to come home so that she could cook them dinner.

Then an awful thought came into her head, what if Dec didn't love her any more? He hadn't wanted much physical contact with her and would always say that he was too tired and he wanted to sleep. Dec had been sneaking out telling Ali that he was going to see Ant, but she later learned from Ant that that was not where he was going. Ali was angry, angry that her loved one's where taken from her, angry that Dec had probably been cheating on her. She felt worthless, she used to love her life, and now she was the last person that she wanted to be.

Ali walked downstairs holding back tears she wanted to go home so that she could let it all out but Anne and Ant knew better than to let her do that. Ali shouldn't be alone when grieving. Ali was like Dec when she was upset, she was tough and could hide her emotions very well but when she was really sad and you could see it in her eyes, it meant that she needed someone that could hug her and that would be there for her.

"Ali, I really insist on you staying here. Actually, you are going to stay here." Anne said. Ali sighed she didn't feel like arguing she just wanted to cry, cry for hours. But she couldn't do that here she thought. It will make them uncomfortable... Ali sighed and cooperated as Anne steered her towards the sofa. Ant sat beside her and he knew that there was something wrong, something else despite the fact that her daughter and husband were kidnapped.

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Dec was absolutely speechless he would never have guessed that this person was capable of such awful things.

"D-D-D..."

"Go on say it! I told you not to take my mask off, now I will have to kill you idiot. Might as well say my name!"

"D-Derm-mot O"

"SAY IT!" He screeched pushing Dec.

"Derm-mot O'lear-y" Dec said quietly. Dermot scowled and grabbed Dec's shoulders. Dec was in shock and was crying as Dermot squeezed his shoulder even tighter digging his nails into Dec's skin.

"Say it LOUDER!"

"Dermot O'leary!" Dec cried out in pain. Dermot released his grip and laughed at him.

"You are so stupid Dec, I have to kill you, since you now know who I am. Hmmmm.... Which one of you should I kill first, well, I could kill your baby and then you would suffer more, such a shame that this baby had to be born of Ali and You." Dermot reached forward to take the baby from Dec but he tightened his grip and wouldn't let Dermot have her.

"No! kill me not her, let her go. She won't be able to tell anyone who you are."

"So selfish Declan, you would rather die, end your suffering, and have your baby live without a father, than let her die? I thought you were better than this Dec. Doesn't matter, I'm going to kill you anyway, but not yet though. I want you to see me win the NTA's I want you to see your depressed little friend crying in the audience. Oh and if he doesn't show up then maybe he's not such a friend after all. But why would he show up there is only one of you and the both of you are worthless!"

Dermot hit Declan on the head with part of his gun that he had whisked out from somewhere. Then Dermot pulled out a needle from his pocket, and Dec squirmed to get away but he wasn't strong enough. Dermot jabbed the needle into Dec and he felt nothing at first but then he was tired, his vision was hazy, and he just wanted to sleep. "Feeling sleepy Declan?" Dermot sniggered. Dec was getting confused. "Give me the baby Dec." Dermot commanded. Dec obeyed not quite sure of what was going on.

"Good boy, now get some sleep." Dermot said. Dec nodded and let the tiredness overtake him. The rest of his body slumped to the concrete floor with a soft thud and he slept deeply without any dreams.

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Anne came up to the sofa holding two cups of tea, she handed one to Ali and one to Ant. Ant smiled at her and nodded gratefully. Ant took a sip and closed his eyes as the warm liquid trickled down the inside of his throat he held it tightly his tea being the only thing he was sure wasn't going to leave until he was ready. Anne came back with her cup of tea and the three of them sat down in silence for a while and then Anne spoke up.

"Does anyone want to watch some television?" Anne looked at Ali and instantly regretted what she said.

Ali was fuming. She stood up a wild look in her eyes, "HOW COULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER WATCHING TV WHEN YOU KNOW THAT ISLA AND DEC ARE MISSING!?!?! Dec doesn't even l-love me anymore so why should I-I care..." Ali had tears flowing rapidly down her cheeks now and she paused panting to stare at Ant and Anne who were absolutely stunned at her sudden anger.

"Oh sweetie... What makes you think that Dec doesn't love you?" Anne stood up to comfort Ali and to guide her back into a sitting position. Ali leaned on Anne and sobbed into her shoulder unable to hold back her tears. "Be-Because I failed him... I was unable to save his only daughter, he has to hate me for that." Ali cried.

"Well I don't think that is a good enough reason for you to think he doesn't love you, you can't prove that he felt that way. Besides, she was your only daughter too..."

"WAS?!?! WAS? You mean IS right? Do you-you, do you think she's d-dead?" Ali asked alarmed.

"No, Of course not Ali! I meant is, IS your only daughter. Sorry."

"Okay well how do you explain the fact that he wouldn't touch me or cuddle with me. He also kept leaving and telling me he was going here, when he really wasn't."

Anne bit her lip unsure of what to say. Ant stood up then crouched in front of Ali so that he could look her in the eyes.

"A-Ali, Dec loved you more than anything else he would die for you and his daughter and I doubt that he would ever stop loving you. He wouldn't touch you or get close to you because he was scared that he would hurt you if he got too close. I have no Idea where Dec was going when he said he was coming to see me, but I do know that Dec is one of the most caring, and quite frankly clingy, person that I have ever had the privilege of meeting, And I know that he holds the people he loves the most close to his heart and I think that you are the closest to his..." Ant finished and Ali looked at him with a little bit of hope, Maybe Dec really did love her.

Ali leaned forward and gave Ant a massive hug and then sat back on the couch much calmer now. "Okay Anne, I guess I could do with a little bit of telly to get my mind off things for a while." Anne smiled and they sat and had their first slightly happy moment of the week...