20 | Shaking

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Eleanora knew she had fucked up. Like... really fucked up. 

Tony had done so much for her and she had just snapped at him for no reason. At least, to Tony there was no reason. But she hadn't seen another way out - despite his good intentions, his words were making her agitated and anxious and she hadn't meant to snap at him at all, but her panic and frustration had gotten the best of her. And this wasn't even the first time it had happened. 

"How did it go?" Katie asked when Eleanora walked into their apartment. "What's wrong?" 

"I fucked up," she groaned. 

"How so?" 

"I don't know what's wrong with me." 

"Well, how about you tell me what happened and I can tell you." 

"All the shit with Tucker and Hannah went as well as it could have gone in the scheme of things. But I was just at Tony's place and he offered me leftover Thai food and I said no but he was being rally insistent about it and I just snapped  and walked out and I don't know why." 

"Nora, you put yourself through a lot today," Katie sympathised, placing a hand on Eleanora's knee. "I'm sure it's just the emotional toll of it all. I'm not saying it's right that you snapped, but it's understandable. You just gotta communicate, tell him the truth. And apologise. He'll get it." 

Would he though? There was only so much a person could put up with. 

"Look, you feel bad, don't you?" she asked. Eleanora nodded. "And you want to apologise and smooth things over?" She nodded again. "Then go fucking do it, you pussy. Stop wallowing in self-pity, go back over there and talk to him." 

Katie stared at her in determination for a moment until Eleanora nodded once more, "you're right." 

"Oh, thank God, I was worried I was taking the tough love thing a little too far for a second." 

Eleanora grinned and shrugged. "Well, you didn't make me cry so..."


• • • 


When she knocked on Tony's door twenty minutes later, she half-expected him to not open it. However, to her surprise, he opened it promptly and looked at her with a tired but concerned expression before opening it wider, inviting her in. 

"Tell me what's going on," he pleaded quietly. "Last time you blew up at me it was because you were hiding the fact that Tucker was cheating on you so please just tell me what's going on." 

"I'm really sorry, Tony. I really overreacted and I shouldn't have walked out like that. And I'm so sorry that this keeps happening. I'm a shitty person and a shitty friend and I'd understand if you don't want to talk to me again."  

"That's not what I asked, Lenny. I know you're sorry, I know that that wasn't you. And you were right anyway, I shouldn't have been so pushy, I have a habit of it and I'm trying to stop. But you're clearly going through something and, as your friend, I'd really appreciate it if you told me what so that I could help you. I'm not mad, I'm just worried." 

Eleanora knew, deep down, that she should tell someone. That she had a problem. But she was so ashamed and afraid of what he would think of her that her tongue suddenly felt like lead. She shook her head. "I can't." 

"Why not?" 

She shook her head again, a thick lump developing in her throat. 

Tony stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders. "Lenny, c'mon. Whatever it is, I'm not gonna judge or- or think any less of you." 

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