Obsessions ⇢ Tony Stark

24 | Toxic Thoughts of an Overachiever

Tony was angry. He was angry at the world for what it had thrown at Eleanora, angry at her family for the way they treated her, angry at Tucker for everything he had done. He didn't understand it, why Eleanora did what she did, didn't understand what it was about herself that she hated that much.

He just wished that she could see what he saw.

In any case, she was doing really well. Although there were definitely setbacks, Tony was incredibly proud of Eleanora's determination and the progress that she had made. He didn't have a clue as to what she was going through, but he knew that recovering from things like eating disorders was far from easy. Yet, Eleanora pushed through the slumps, and since the summer holidays had started, she seemed to be doing even better.

Which was why Tony was a little surprised when he went to Eleanora's apartment one morning to take her to her support group and she opened the door in her pajamas, evidently having only just woken up. So, it was one of Those days.

Her expression was tired and embarrassed, but stubborn too. Before she could say anything, Tony stepped inside the apartment and gave her a gentle push towards her bedroom. "Go on. Go get dressed. Or if you're really feeling pajamas, you can go like that."

"Tony... I really can't today," she sighed quietly, eyes pleading.

And Tony didn't want to make her do something she didn't want to, he really wanted to just say 'okay', but he'd made a promise to her that he wouldn't let her do this and he couldn't fail her.

"Quicksand, remember Lenny?"

It's like quicksand, she had told him a few weeks back. There's times when I feel stuck but I can pull myself  out pretty easily and the longer I wait, the further I sink and the harder it is to get out.

"I'll go to the next one."

"Past you told me all your excuses already, if you don't recall," he said wryly. "You're tired, you don't feel well, you just need a little break then you'll be fine - you told me not to listen to any of it. All you gotta do is get dressed, get in the car, and just sit in the meeting. You don't have to participate, you just gotta go. Anything is better than nothing."

Eleanora stared down at her hands.

"Come on," he said, pushing her into her bedroom, "throw on some clothes-"

"Please stop making it sound easy!" she burst out, eyes watery.

Tony froze, the defeated and pained expression on her face filling him with guilt. "I know it's not, Lenny," he shook his head, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I- I can't imagine what you're going through. I just... I'm trying to be optimistic and to show you that I know you can do this because you're so strong. I never meant for it to come across that way."

Then she burst into sobs and Tony felt the crack in his heart grow bigger as he pulled her into his chest.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," she cried into his shoulder and he rubbed her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

"It's okay."

"It's not, Tony. It's not, stop saying that it is. I don't want you to think that it's ok for people to keep blowing up at you for no reason."

He shook his head with a small huff of laughter and pulled away so he could look her in the eyes. "I get the feeling that you think you're being much harsher than you think you are. You just said 'please stop making it sound easy'. And don't say that like it's a recurring issue, the only times I recall you 'blowing up at me' is when you've had some major shit going on and you've apologised sincerely every single time because you didn't mean it and I know you didn't mean it. I know that it's a defence mechanism. And that doesn't make it okay but I forgive you and I will over and over again because I want to."