RDR2: Faithless

10: The Fine Joys of Tobacco

I took a few days out to deal with something that had been bothering me. That being my parents. I wanted to see them again, I had to! I wouldn't get too close, I wouldn't be seen, but I had to see them.

I rode to Saint Denis again, heading straight for the house. I got off where I had jumped the wall before, right behind the memorial. I looked over the wall and frowned when I saw an envelope sat on the stone plaque. It wouldn't hurt to look, right?

I jumped the wall and crouched down, almost crawling towards the plaque. The envelope read my name! It definitely hadn't been there before, so I grabbed it and jumped back over, sitting with my back against it. I tore open the envelope and scanned the contents.

Ann,
We hope you'll get this letter. We know you were here once, maybe you'll come again. But perhaps that is wishful thinking.
We know who you are. Now that we know you're alive, we kept an eye out. We've seen the posters. You're a criminal in the Van der Linde Gang, the price on your head is high.
We aren't angry. We don't care who you are now, who raised you, you are still our little girl. And we need you to come back to us.
We never wanted to give you up, we never had a choice. We searched for years before we accepted you were either dead or would have no idea who we are. The fact you are back now is a shock to us both, but we have never been so happy!
Please come back to us, darling.
Love
Your parents.

I gripped the letter tightly, tears threatening to fall. Why had I come back? I knew this would happen, something else would make me doubt my decision. But I had to at least give them an explanation.

I tore a page out of a notebook I had and composed my own letter to them. It was only fair.

Mr and Mrs Wright,
I couldn't stop myself from coming back, though perhaps it was a mistake. I am a criminal, but I'm not a villain. Nobody in the Van der Linde gang is a villain, I swear it, we're just old-fashioned folk in a world that's leaving us behind.
Dutch van der Linde is the one who saved me. He found me on the side of the road, abandoned, and he took me in. He taught me how to read, write, protect myself. He's a good man, and he has never let me be in danger. He was the one who gave me the means to find you again.
For years, I thought you had just abandoned me. When Dutch gave me that blanket that he has kept all these years, I realised I could find you. I thought Ann Wright was a name he came up with, I never knew it was my real one.
I expected to find you and discover you were vile people who left me for dead without a second thought. I didn't consider for a moment that perhaps you didn't get the choice. That perhaps I was stolen from you. That perhaps you were good people.
And you are good people. That's another reason I can't come back. I'm not a villain, but I'm also not a good person. I just wanted you both to know that I was alive, once I saw how you mourned for me. But I'm not someone you want as a daughter.
Ann

I folded the note up and left it in the same place, held down by a small stone. It was the best I could do, there was no way I could go and stay with them. That would be bad for all of us.

I returned to camp, the letter still clutched tightly in my hands. I came across Hosea, Arthur, and John, sat by the wagon of moonshine. Hosea had successfully sold the Cornwall bonds, and was onto his next venture apparently.

"Hey Ann," John called, "You alright?"

I stashed the letter in my bag and forced a smile. I wasn't going to get into that with anyone right now.

"Of course," I said, "What are you doing?"

"Selling it back to where it came from," Hosea said, grinning.

"Why?" I frowned.

"Well, I ain't got a market for it," he shrugged, "They made it, they must have someone to sell it to. Stuff looked kinda lonely out here, I think we'll cut ourselves a deal."