RDR2: Faithless

27: A Fork in the Road

"Will you ever get married, Ann?" Tilly asked that night. We were all sat around the campfire, an uneasy silence settling over us. Tilly had decided to break that, with possibly the worst question she could have asked.

"No man will take her now," Micah said before I could speak, "She's spoiled goods."

He laughed but nobody else did. I rose to my feet, a deadly look on my face.

"It's true," he smiled at me mockingly, "No man wants a used product."

I moved to punch him in the face, but Bill moved quicker. Arthur and Charles were also stood, but Bill was the one who made contact, knocking Micah backwards off his chair.

"You watch your mouth, Micah," he growled as the rest of us stood silent, "Or next time you'll really get hurt."

I nodded my thanks at Bill before turning and leaving. Already the pity looks were flooding in, and I hated it. I was also dwelling on what Micah said. Was it true? Did men really see me as spoiled goods when it wasn't my choice?

I walked to the edge of camp, collapsing on the small ledge, pulling my knees up to my chest, my head ducked down. I choked back tears. Was it really true?

"Are you okay?" Bill sat down next to me, surprising me slightly.

"No..." I gave a small laugh.

"Don't listen to Micah," he told me, "We all know what he's like."

"But he's right, isn't he? I don't care so much if nobody will marry me, but everyone sees me as broken now," he opened his mouth to argue but I continued, "No, Bill. I see the stares, I hear the whispers. Everyone treats me differently, but I'm still the same Ann. I can still defend myself, I can still pull my weight, I'm not any different. I hate the stares, I just want to be treated normally."

There was silence as he digested my words.

"Thank you, by the way," I told him, "For standing up for me."

"Ann, we know you're not any different," he said, "We're just worried about you. You've been distant ever since we all came back, we don't want you to let this eat you alive."

"I just need my space," I said, "I'll be fine. I just need... to be left alone."

"I understand," he clapped me on the shoulder, standing up, "But know you can talk to anyone of us. Except maybe Micah."

With that, he left me to my thoughts. I knew it wouldn't stop them pitying me, but maybe if he said something, they'd tone down the stares.

I knew that was wishful thinking.

I sat out there for the rest of the night, I didn't sleep a wink. Too many thoughts were running through my head, and I knew what would happen if I did try and sleep.

What about Harry? Could I even face him again? I couldn't lie to him, but what would he say when I admitted it? Would I even get the words out? Would he even still care for me?

"Ann, you look awful! When did you last sleep?" Miss Grimshaw asked me the next morning as I went to grab breakfast.

"I'm fine," I croaked, and she knew I was lying.

"You eat that and you go to bed," she growled, "You will not set foot outside this camp today."

"Honestly, I'm fine," I told her but she gave me a hard stare, "I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes..."

Her face softened and she walked towards me, placing her hand on mine.