Forget Me Not (Kylo Ren Story)

Secrets

The hallway was silent, no signs of life, as Athena poked her head out of her quarters. It was the middle of the night, everyone was asleep on the Resistance base, except for the occasional patrolling guard. Exiting her room, she tightened her grip on the brown duffel bag that she carried by her side. She was not defecting or deserting, in truth she wanted to stay, but it was no longer an option. She needed to put as much distance as she could between the First Order and her, and being a member of the Resistance she was bound to run into them at some point. It was no longer safe to stay, it was time to go.

The ramp on the Falcon slowly lowered itself, revealing the night sky and the crowd that awaited their return. A mission to rescue a Resistance member who had been captured by the First Order for a long period of time, seemed to gather quite a lot of attention. Athena hovered in the back, allowing for the four to descend first. She was still shaking, eyes watering, and heart in agony. Cheers were heard as Finn and Chewie exited out of the ship and then even more for Poe and Rey. "Did you find Commander Stryker? Does she need medical support? Someone get the medical team over here stat!" The applause and questions seemed to halt when she came into view, everyone's eyes staring in disbelief. "Wasn't she being held captive by the First Order?" One hushed voice drifted across the deadly silent crowd of members. "She was gone for almost a month, how is she not dead?" "Dead? There's not even a scratch on her!" "She's even in a dress!" Athena's arms clenched tighter around her frame as she tried to ignore the whispers coming from the Resistance members. They were right, why was a highly ranking Resistance member not bruised, bloodied, and beaten to a pulp by the hand of the First Order? If they only knew what their Supreme Leader had done to her heart. With her head down, Athena followed closely behind her rescuers into the Command Center, where more eyes followed. "Dameron, I explicitly denied you the right to leave this base! All four of you disobeyed direct command I hop-" A familiar voice shouted from the Center, but her rant stopped as Poe, Rey, Finn, and Chewie stepped to the sides revealing Athena. Her blue eyes lifted to the source of the shouting, finding a sight that made her heart wrench even more. "Athena?" General Organa breathed out in surprise, turning to look at Poe. "You found them?" Poe nodded, head held high despite despite the eventual repercussions of his defiance. "I told you I would." Leia exhaled, taking in Athena's disheveled sight, her eyes not so discreetly searching the crowd behind the crying girl. No doubt searching for a tall black haired man. "L-Lele" Athena's voice cracked, fresh tears pouring down. "You remember..." Leia whispered, confounded once again. She only nodded and rushed into the woman's arms, completely breaking down again. Leia held her close, feeling the pain that surrounded her aura, stroking her messy hair. "Clear the room!" Poe shouted. Everyone was quick to leave, retiring for the night or returning to their duties. Leaving the General and the Commander she loved so dearly. Athena stayed in Leia's arms sobbing, her knees wobbling from the sorrow. "I-I lost him again!" She cried out, Leia's eyes watering as she quietly reminded the girl it was not her fault.

That had been a month ago, she had been away from him for a month. Athena tried to bury herself in work, in bringing the First Order crumbling down, in forgetting. But she never could, it was always on the back of her mind, and now it was time to leave. Resorting to running away in the middle of the night, without so much as a goodbye. She had no other choice.

A knock came at her door, pulling Athena out of her wallowing thoughts. She had barely left her room the past few days, still attempting to deal with her pain. "Go away Poe!" she shouted, quite annoyed with her neighbor's constant pestering. She was not necessarily mad at him, he had thought she was in trouble, and him and her could not continue living in their little pretend world forever, but she was tired of the constant apologies. She only wanted to forget it ever happened. "Its - Its not Poe." A distinct voice called from the other side of the door. Athena sat up, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. She made her way to the door, pressing the button on the side panel, allowing for it to open. Rey stood before her, an uneasy look etched onto her face, hands hidden behind her back. "I'm sorry Rey, I didn't know it was you." She apologized hastily. Rey shook her head, "It's alright." The young Jedi's eyes fell as she shifted her weight onto the balls of her feet, clearly nervous. "What's wrong?" Rey let out a sigh, lifting her eyes, "I need your help." Athena's one brow quirked up, "My help? With what?" She was unsure what use she would be in such a state. Rey let out an uneasy laugh, revealing the two items she held behind her back. Athena sucked in a large gulp of air at the sight, eyes looking up to the young woman in questioning. "When I was with Luke, he mentioned a padawan who was strong in the Force, strong enough to take his nephew, strong with her lightsaber." Rey's hand extended out more, balancing Athena's lightsaber. She had purposefully left it on the Falcon the night they returned with the intention of never wielding it again. "I can't fight him Rey..." Athena muttered, her sadness surfacing once again. Rey nodded hand still outstretched, "I know I wouldn't expect you to. And I know you closed yourself off to the Force, but could you train me? You and Ben trained together Luke said, you must fight alike." Athena winced at his name, the name of the boy she had fallen in love with, his real name. She had blocked out his name solely referring to him as Kylo Ren, it felt like another person when she did. Perhaps because when he had taken on that mantra, he had become someone else. "You've beaten him before, why do you need my help?" Rey let out a loud sigh, filled to the brim with anxiety. Athena was sure if she was still connected to the Force, she would have felt how distressed her aura was. Even without, she could see the stress weighing on the young woman's shoulders. "I just - I need to get better, stronger. Everyone is looking to me to step into Luke's shoes and... it's just a lot." Athena's eyes fell in shame. She should be helping the girl, not hiding away like some laser brain. It was not like her, even with no memory of who she was, she still had joined the Resistance to help others. "I'll train you, but we must go far into the Jungle. The Resistance cannot see me handling a saber, too many questions would arise and the truth would eventually come out. I could be branded a traitor to the cause." The base had all been told a lie, to protect Athena. She had escaped the First Order rather quickly and crash landed on a deserted planet where she waited to be found. No mentions of Kylo Ren, of her remembered past, or her Force sensitivity. It was the only way to explain why she was not injured or malnourished. If anyone else found out about her previous relationship with Kylo, the Resistance would begin to question where her loyalties lay. Rey nodded solemnly,"When do we start?" Athena plucked her lightsaber from the girl, trying to bury the resurfacing memories, "At dawn."