Paano Aaminin?

Bye for now Shar

"Donny bilisan mo malelate tayo"

Napakamot naman ako ng ulo dito kay Kisses. Four pm ang flight namin pero Nine am palang ng umaga, ayus na ayos na siya.

"Chill ka lang babe. Hindi tatakbo ang NAIA. Mag agahan tayo, mag tanghalian  at magpahinga. Aalis tayo ng bandang 12:00 dahil traffic for sure at least may allotted tayong 2 hours for byahe then 2 hours for waiting time.

"Hindi ba dapat 4 hours before the flight andon na tayo?"

"We will be ok trust me"

May iniabot na gift cards si Shar para sa aming dalawa.

"Hala Shar what is this? Westfield? Movie ba to?"

"Hindi. Parang SM yan don kaya kung sakali na may kailangan kang bilin magagamit mo." Napangiti ako kay Shar.

"Shar thank you, thank you talaga" habang niyayakap ng mahigpit ni Kisses si Shar, I checked my phone just to see if may nakalimutan.

Wala man pero may nareceive akong text galing kay Shar

From Ma'am

Yung letter basahin mo nalang pag mag isa ka.

And by the looks of it, I knew it contains something she can't express at the moment. So I texted her back.

To Ma'am

Will do

Sumama samin si Shar sa airport. Parang wala lang. The 2 hour traffic is indeed long pero pinaikli yon ni Shar dahil sa mga banat at jokes niya. I didn't even felt na ito na talaga yon.

I won't be seeing my bestfriend for a year or two unless magkaron ako ng budget pauwi ng Pinas.

Kisses was busy saying goodbye to her tito and titas while I am just looking at Shar.

Sharlene San Pedro has a unique way of hiding her feelings. Compare to me, you won't be able to read her mind right away unless you know her very well. At least that's what I observed.

"Hindi ka man lang ba maiiyak o magpapaalam with feelings kagaya nila?" I pointed out to Kisses' relatives na nag iiyakan.

Nakapamulsa lang siyang ngumisi.

"Bakit ako iiyak aber? Patay ka na ba?" Oo nga naman. Sharlene is as simple minded as a guy. Kung may komplikado man sa aming magkaibigan, kadalasan ako yon.

"Dodong I will see you soon. Mabilis lang yan. Magugulat ka pagdilat mo uuwi ka na pabalik..." She sounds like she's about to continue what she's saying and yet she decided to cut it there.

Instead of replying I pull her into a tight hug. Nakapatong yung baba ko sa bunbunan niya.

Mahigpit na yakap. I- I didn't realise Shar is fragile. I feel like if I overdo hugging her she will snap. Akala ko dati maton na maton yung bestfriend ko. Not to mind her curves but her scent and the way she fits into my arms...

Ang weird.

"Mamimiss kita. Lagi-"

"No promises Dons. Wag kang magbibitaw ng pangako kung di mo kayang tuparin." She smiled genuinely at me then she gently push me away.

After that we say goodbye to everyone.

It's good that I am with Kisses because she is so energetic. Nakakahawa. Yun nga lang for some reason I feel like I left a part of me in the Philippines when I said good bye to my best friend.

An eight hours flight seem so long. Nasa tabi ako ng bintana and after five hours of nonstop telling stories and plans Kisses fell asleep.

I remember the folded paper Shar included along with the gift card she gave me.

It's 4am
And I've been thinking
About your eyes
And how it's beautiful inside

There's something 'bout you
And the way you move
And the way you smile

I saw you smile
Looking at me I wonder why
You were acting kind of odd
Don't know if you want to talk

...

It's supposed  to be a poem I need to finish and give you as a requirement in my communication class. Kaso hindi ko na tinapos at hindi ko na rin ibinigay sa'yo however one day I will finish this. If not a poem then somewhere as a song.

I know. We can be together if only I want to but I need to develop my capabilities and personality first.

Like I said, I will never accept Shar's feelings if I am confuse. It will be unfair. Perhaps one day pag ok na at pwede pa. She's my comfort zone but I need to go away from my comfort zone in order to grow and Kisses is able to yank me out from that.

I looked at Kisses. She's my present. I want to know if this is the right thing.I never want to hurt her as well but I felt it and I want to know if this will last.

Shar says it will end quickly. I wont even notice it. And with her assurance, I closed my eyes and wait till I land to a different country. This time no Sharlene San Pedro around.