Summer camp • Boyxboy

Fight

I ran to the cabin, embarrassment blinding my vision, as I walked past a clueless Jorge and an Olivia.

"Benji Krol! I can't believe you!" Jorge yelled , taking me out of my current state of mind.

Jorge was in the kitchen, a plate of macaronis day cheese in front of him, tear stained cheeks, and a sympathetic looking Olivia next to him.

Maybe he's not so clueless

I turned towards him, previewing my hickeys to both of them, Olivias eyes went wide, and her face turned red.

We stood there in silence , so i turned around to walk up the stairs.

"Really! Is that all you have to say for yourself? Absolutely nothing! Get down here!" Jorge yelled. I felt like a horrible human being, but I didn't know how to deal with conflict. I was never really taught how to.

I walked back down the stairs and looked at him.

"Where were you?" He asked, knowing the answer.

"I was with Abby," I said pain-filled.

His face got red with anger.

He turned to Olivia , his face softening a bit.

"Olivia I think it's best you go, thanks for the food," he said. She nodded, and grabbed her coat, understanding the situation he was in.

Because of me.

"You know benji, you're a sick ass person. I get maybe you're "not to terms" with your sexuality yet, but just because you aren't doesn't mean you can fuck up my head!" He screamed.

I didn't even know it, but there was tears slipping down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I said lowly, my head starting to hurt.

"No benji! That's the thing! You aren't sorry, you're not even a little bit sorry!" He screamed, pulling at his hair.

I stood still.

Fuck what do I do .
I said sorry and he didn't take it
Fuck what do I do what do I do
I was trying to search my head for answers

"God benji! You tore me and my friend apart and you fuck with both of us like this? God," he said, and put his head in his hands, trying to catch his breath.

"You're messing with my head," I said,  sobbing now, at the most pathetic point I've ever been in.

He looked up from his hands, anger no longer a readable expression.

"You're just- I- I cant handle it. First you kiss me, and god damnit it was the best kiss I've ever had. And then we make out and I can't control myself, and I want so fucking badly to let go of who I am, but I just cant," I said, and his face started to soften.

"What do you mean let go of who you are?" He asked, coming towards me.

I let a few tears slip past my eyes, so I could see more clearly.

"I don't want to let go of my friends back home, my parents, traditions with friends, holidays, my house, my siblings," and then I looked at his brown eyes, his lovely eyes that could drown out abbys in a second, his gorgeous hair that looks softer than clouds, " I don't want to let go of a me," I said.

He took a breath out, and looked down.

"Benji, you don't have to give yourself up. You have to accept another part of you that makes you who you are. And you need to stop running away from it, because the more you do that, the more people you hurt, the more you hurt yourself," he said.

And then my tears got more heavy.

"What if I'm not ready for people not to accept me?" I asked, my voice cracking, he put his hands on my shoulders

"Benji, you were always like this, but now you just know," he said, smiling .

And then I collapsed in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder, as he just held me.

Everything started to connect in my head

I never liked Abby, I thought she was cute and tried to hold onto her as if she was the last part of my heterosexuality

But I don't need to do that anymore
Because Jorge is the answer

I pulled back from his shoulder, and we locked eyes

And then we leant forward and connected our lips.

God I missed his soft lips .

But this kiss wasn't full of need, or passion.

This one was full of understanding.

"Sorry jorge, I took your charger with me-" Olivia said, but stopped at the sight in front of her

Her best friend kissing his crush

She smiled and pulled her phone out, taking a picture, and then slipping back out of the cabin, leaning Jorge's charger on the ground, and going unnoticed by the boys.