Evermore (Vampire Knight fanfiction.)

21 - She's Distancing.

Resha Valentine

I busy myself with books. There's something wrong with me, I have uncontrollable powers. Before my mother and father died, they gave me half of their powers, making me two times stronger than Kaname. But the price is unbearable.

Everytime I use my power, I will be hungry and sick and can't control it. Really hungry for blood, but I'm too afraid to drink another pureblood's blood, that's why I never drink Kaname's. Aidou's fine with me, but Kaname's blood is too strong. The simple explanation is, my power is overload and body couldn't handle it it. My power has been leaking out these past years so I confined myself, afraid of hurting anyone.

I've never really use my power since I was little. I'm afraid with what I'm capable of doing. The first time I actually used it, was when I'm thirteen years old, a few days after my parents and Kaname's died.

I was hidden in Kuran's house. I remember I was really cold and distant at that time, because they died because of me. And suddenly there comes a point where I was really mad about myself, just want to run away from everything... I came out of the house, and I killed a few servants who tried to stops me with only by looking at them, even though I didn't mean to. I destroy the forests, the trees were all cutted. Basically, the aftermath of my rampage was a mess.

Kaname was also a mess when he came as fast as possible from the Ichijou's to the house. He knows how much I hate myself, vampires, and my guilt. He was badly cut as a result, although they heal perfectly, the guilt was overwhelming.

That's why I'm hiding, until I'm mature and old enough to control my power. Kaname visit me often, and take me to Headmaster's house often to let out of stress and depression I have, caused by the guilt and not having the ability to forgive myself for what I did.

Being near Yuuki and Zero makes me a little happy, because I have someone I can take care of. I tried so hard to protect them, because I don't want to repeat what happened with my parents. Because I can't do anything.

I often to think that I have no differences with Level E, we have our own insanity. The only differences is that my brain is still working. And apparently I'm the strongest pureblood. Unstableness and strong power is never really a good combination.

But these years I got better... then why did I do it again? Was it because I tasted blood? I could live with blood tablets even though they're horrible. But why now?

There's a light knock on the door. "Resha? Are you up?" Ichijou asked. I'm not in the mood to see anyone, even Kaname, so I'm back to my old room. But it could be important...

"Ichijou?" I replied.

"Yup, it's just me." He came inside, and found me sitting down with books around me. "Well, this is new. What's going on?"

Because I'm currently reading a book about ancient vampires, I closed it fastly so that he won't get suspicious. "Just figuring things out."

He's sitting beside me casually, because he's one of the closest to me. "Well, The Variable of Ancient Vampires? Are you trying to kill one of us?" He's laughing after grabbing random books on the carpet.

"You know... I..."For a moment, Ichijou looks serious. I stared at him waiting, and he smiles reassuringly. "I have a guest. You don't have to come out 'cause... you know... you're pretty busy."

"Sounds suspicious. Is it a girl?" I looked at him. "Do you have a date?"

Now Ichijou acted as if I said something funny. "Well, no. The only girl grandfather is very looking forward to be my wife is unfortunately, the person in front of me."

I scoffed. His grandfather—Ichiou, had always put high expectations on him. He wouldn't approve Ichijou married into anyone except a pureblood, or a high ranking noble. "Wow. You're also coincidentally friends with her consort."

He got up, then waved. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about rejecting an arranged marriage because I can use you. Have fun with the books!"

Before he could walk out, I feel a sudden urge to call him. "Ichijou."

He looks at me. Perhaps it was because the way I look at him, he furrows his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Are you sure you don't need any help with the guest?"

Not even thinking about it, he smiles. "You always worry too much, Resha. I'll be fine."

*********

I've been reading five or six books. It's afternoon already? I got up and shower. Wondering, is it really too quite or just my feeling? It's not like this usually, I mean, they do sleep but not this quiet. This kind of silence feels strange.

After shower, I'm wearing my clothes, another cream dress just the way I like it.

Slowly, I'm going outside the room, wondering where is everyone might be. Is it class yet?

I suddenly feel a huge aura coming. An old, rusty, and wood scent is filling the pathway. An ancient and powerful vampire is walking inside. This one is familiar... As if...

My eyes widen and I turned my head to the lobby. It's Ichiou Takuma? Ichijou's grandfather?

So this is why he told me to stay inside.

*********