"I'll always be here for you~"

6

"I'll always be here for you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I held tightly onto Jack, afraid that if I let go, I would lose him.

Eventually we parted, it was the saddest thing in the world.

Jack and I still held each others hands, then my body started to ache.

I moved my arm, looking down at my wrists. Seeing them firmly wrapped in bandages.

Then I remembered some other injuries I had gotten, my hand trailed towards my face, I touched my eye, getting a small wave of pain in respond.

"I think the pain meds are wearing off." Jack said.

"Yeah." I responded.

Then I hear groaning, and see my brother stretching as he wakes up.

He stretched and yawned looking over to me, when he sees me awake, he runs over to me pulling me into a tight hug.

"I was so scared Y/n." He cried onto my shoulder, "I thought I was gonna loose you too!"

He sobbed as I rubbed his back.

"Sam, you don't have to worry about me, I would never leave you." I say, "not after what happened to mom and dad."

"But if you did die, then he wouldn't have to deal with your bullshit anymore." My brain spat like venom, trying to poison my mind.

We parted and Sam brought a chair to the other side of the hospital bed.

"When can I get out of here?" I asked Jack.

He paused and thought for a moment, "I'm not sure, I'll have to ask the doctor."

I nodded and then added, "how long have I been here?"

He paused again, as if to count, and then sighed, "a day and a half."

I just nodded and turned my gaze to the wall.

Then the doctor came into the room.

"Ahhh, nice to see that your awake Ms L/n!" The doctor exclaimed, looking up from his clipboard, "how are you feeling?"

"Good, I'm a little sore, but besides that I'm feeling fine."

"Ok." The doctor said, writing something down on his clipboard, And then he walks over to the bed and brings a chair.

"Ok, let's talk about you, shall we?" The doctor asks.

I nod and tighten my grip on Jacks hand, making him squeeze back.

"By the way my name is Doctor Williamson." He holds out his hand for me to shake, which I take.

"Ok, so your injuries, let me list them real quick."

"Bruises and scratches, black eye, rashes where you scratched, and then the cuts." He lists off, flipping over a page and quickly scanning it.

I tense up as he lists everything Chris did to me, until he mentions my cuts.

He looks up at me and makes me flinch. Making Jack squeeze my hand.

I turn my head towards the wall, embarrassed and disappointed in myself.

"Hey, hey it's ok." Jack says putting and arm around me.

"I'm sorry." I say, tears forming into my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Shhh, shhhh it's ok, your fine and everything will be fine after today." Jack comforts me, holding me close.

"We can finish this up later." The doctor says, getting up from his chair, obviously feeling bad about bringing up the cuts, but I can't blame him, it was necessary, we have to talk about my health.

Maybe I can finally get some help?

"No, no, let's finish it now please." I say, stopping the doctor from leaving.

The doctor stops and sits back down, he explains about the rashes on my body from me scrubbing and how I'll have to properly take care of them.

Bandages and a special cream that will stop the irritation and help them heal.

I had a small black eye, but that's was fine, and the other scratches and bruises Jake gave me were also fine, then we started talking about my wrists.

"May I ask, did Chris give you those cuts?" The doctor asks.

I look over to Jack, seeing his face, full of worry and concern. Then I turn to my brother, looking at me, sadness in his eyes.

"N-no." I say finally, after a long moment of silence.

"Are they self inflicted?" Again, the doctor asks.

I stare off into space, barely nodding, but nodding enough where it was visible if you were right next to me.

"How long have you been self harming?"

That questions hits me, like a brick to the face.

When did I start?

"I-I don't remember." I say looking away from everyone's eyes.

How can't I fucking remember?!

Why can't I fucking remember? !

What the hell if wrong with me?!