A Cowgirl's Rodeo

Chapter 20

I looked nervously down at my feet, thinking of a way to tell Jerald I was going to stay in New York for a while. I wasn't going to tell him I was going to stay in Ridge's dorm room with him and three other guys but I needed to tell him I was going to be gone for a month. Well actually I was just going to be staying in New York after my race in Syracuse next Saturday but still, it's like asking my dad for permission.

"Just spit it out kid." Jerald demanded, closing the fridge door. Just getting back from Georgia, we were both tired and cranky. But even though I knew he could read people well, it still surprised me when he knew what I was thinking without me saying anything.

I cautiously look up at him, "I'm going to stay in New York for a while after my next race." He cocked an eyebrow at me in a "oh really?" way. "I'm visiting some friends at ASA College. But I'll be back a week before the championship."

He scowled slightly at me, looking deep in thought. But he finally gave me a half smile. "I guess it's time I let you grow up and have freedom, huh?" My forehead creased in confusion. He's been babying me? He almost never tells me no. "You're 18, no longer a minor and I think it's time I let you fly the coop, make your own decisions without needing my permission. But just know, after Las Vegas, I'm making you get your GED. You're a damn smart kid and I want you to stay that way."

Then it clicked. I hugged him around the waist and asked, "You never had to watch little girls grow up, did you Jerald?"

He hugged me back, tightly. Like too tight. I coughed from being unable to breath and he chuckled letting me go. "Never had any daughters, I've had plenty of daughter-in-laws, but no daughters and not a single granddaughter. The boy gene is very strong in our family as you can tell. And well I consider you one of my own at this point. You're as hard working as my boys, tough as nails, and always go out of your way to take care of me. It feels like I'm watching my only granddaughter grow up and leave me."

I smiled sadly at him, "I'm only going to be gone a month and then I'll be back. Plus I'll promise to call once a day to check in."

He patted the top my head like a dog or a horse and I swatted his hand away playfully. "You don't have to do that. Just call me every few days, just so I can make sure you're okay and that's all I need. But if you need anything just call and I'll have one of the boys take care of it, seeing as they're closer to you."

"Fine. Anyone but John Ross, alright?" I begged, thinking about how awkward it would if John Ross came to my rescue for whatever reason.

"Can't make any promises, Kid." He teased, walking away from me.

"Um no!" I yelled after him, following him to the living room. "I don't want to see that jerk, thank you very much."

He just laughed at me, turning on the television.

~

The week leading up to the run in Syracuse was torturous but I kept myself busy hanging out with Justin, who I felt bad for neglecting, and Cindy. Speaking of which, didn't qualify in Georgia due to accidentally knocking over a barrel but she wasn't too heart broken over it. I honestly got the feeling she was done with racing, like it was more of a hobby for her at this point.

But between the two of them, phone calls with Ridge every night, and the horses, I had remained occupied enough to not to have a mental break down. But right this second, leaning against Trigger's rented stall in the horse barn at the NYS fairgrounds, I was mentally freaking out. The race was in another hour, I had literally nothing to do other than think and that was dangerous. Because all I could think about was John Ross. His dark blonde hair, how it felt running through my fingers. His gray blue eyes watching my every move, but still letting me in to read his emotions. Delicious muscles that represented his hard work playing football and of recently helping with his grandfather's ranch. Thinking about him, is what had me in a mild panic attack. Not this race, I knew I had it in the bag, but the fact I let an amazing man slip from my fingers because I couldn't let go of my past. I wasn't strong enough to control my emotions and not be vulnerable with Ridge. I had been scared that he would hurt me.