Warning, this chapter has themes of alcoholism, violence and depression.
Do not read if you are sensitive to these things!
Everything written in this story is purely fiction.
I looked over at Simon and sighed, he was ripping into another contestant. I knew what he was doing, he was looking for a fight, he was looking for someone that would actually hit him, he has been doing this for the past 2 months.
When he isn't passed out drunk somewhere, he is starting fights and making no effort to finish them just letting random people beat him up and to make things worse he refuses to speak to me about it, hell he never speaks to me about anything anymore, he doesn't even try to kiss me anymore and I don't blame him, I slept with his best friend a week after he told me that he was insecure of me flirting with other men.
When I told him, he seemed fine. He went to bed with me that night and even cuddled with me but then the next morning he was no where to be found.
I later found out he went to a bar with his younger brother and stayed the rest of the night at his house.
Since that night there hasn't been a day where I haven't seen him passed out drunk, there hasn't been a day were I've seen an emotion in his usually expressive eyes, there hasn't been a day since Simon smiled.
"Simon, that's it we are going to have a little chat about your behaviour." Amanda said agitated with the short man's tirade.
No one had any idea what had happened between me and his friend, they all just assumed it was his behaviour that was ruining our marriage.
I watched as Amanda dragged Simon backstage in front of the many audience members, ready to lambast him for his destructive behaviour.
"I love Simon, but I could never imagine being married to him." Alesha said, turning to me. Her eyes soft and sympathetic.
My breath caught at the back of my throat.
"It cant be easy to be with a man that gets into fights and drinks constantly." She continued, placing her hand on top of mine trying to provide me some comfort.
"He is going through a rough time." I whispered, struggling to tell her the truth.
The truth, that I caused that rough patch.
"He should be talking to you, not insulting his way into an early grave." She said.
Then it hit me, Simon wants someone to kill him.
I got up and ran backstage, needing to find him.
Needing to hold him.
Luckily Amanda's loud booming voice could be heard across the arena, lambasting the short man.
I ran towards the sound, as fast as I could ignoring everyone's call for me.
When I got into the room Simon sat on the floor, holding a bottle of whiskey while Amanda shouted at him trying to pry the bottle from his hands but as it turns out, glass isn't strong enough to have two adults fight over it.
The crimson blood, dripped down Simons wrists.
He looked at his hands, observing the cuts and with a careless shrug he turned around grabbing another bottle of whiskey.
His eyes met mine as he took a long gulp of the alcohol.
"Simon, please." I begged, "Tell me you hate me, yell at me, hit me, anything!"
"I hate what you did and what your still doing but I don't hate you." Simon said, his voice monotonous as he dropped the empty bottle to the ground letting it shatter at his feet.
"He hasn't done anything Simon." Amanda said, "Why can't you see that?"
I stayed silent, to ashamed to admit to what I've done.
"You never have defended me, you've always let the hate continue." Simon whispered, walking past me and out the door.
He is right I never have defended him, I've always been to scared of the backlash. and right now he has no one besides his brothers there to believe that not everything is his fault.
All our friends have sided with me, finding his reputation as 'Mr Nasty' to be enough of a reason to not question the situation at hand.
And while yes, Simon has made a lot of hurtful decisions since he found out about Ryan and I he isn't the one that should be blamed for the downfall of our marriage.
I am.
"What does he mean by that?" Amanda asked, staring me down as she tried desperately to remove the shards of glass embedded in her hand.
I took a deep breath, before slowly and carefully admitted that "I slept with Ryan Seacrest"
My husbands best male friend.
