Thebluhart

Chapter 20-Bad Time

It's been a whole 2 weeks and I still haven't told Josiah about the pregnancy. The only people who knew was Chad, Angel and Gravity, I knew eventually that I would have to change that but I wasn't ready.
I told Josiah that I wanted space and for him to not wait on me. I kept it honest with him I just didn't tell him the part that I'm pregnant. Mom finally came home and she told me all about her trip. She told me she was happy to travel because the whole time she was sick it felt like she was in jail or something. She felt trapped because she couldn't do what she did in her younger days.
As for Chad and I, I haven't talked to him as much. Only for our child's purposes, and that wasn't much because the baby wasn't even the size of a fist yet. We made a doctor's appointment together though, I didn't want to be a foul baby momma and keep his kid away from him even though he was a fucking psychopath. I guess some things has been working in my favor. Gravity and Angel were very supportive and was there for me every step of the way. They didn't see me different, I was grateful though but I don't know why they were still here. I would've been stopped talking to me long time ago, I wasn't perfect and there were things that I needed to fix and trust and believe I was working on it but it was a day by day process. I picked a good group of friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
"Ali! Are you ready yet!" My mom yelled out to me
We were going to get mani/pedi's and go out to eat. I didn't know why she was treating me because usually when she did nice stuff for me nine times out of ten she had something to tell me. Sometimes it was good news and sometimes it was bad news. Like when she got diagnosed with Cancer she made my favorite meal and took me out to the park that day.
"Yeah! I'm almost done!"
"Qu'est-ce que tu fais? Dépêchez-vous"
Translation: What the hell are you doing? Hurry up
"Ok I am calm down please"
I walked out to the living room where she had her phone in her hand and her purse on her shoulder.
"Where the hell is this Uber man? He been in that same spot since forever"
"I hate when they do that, they be taking forever to do nothing"
"Exactly...okay okay it say he bout to be outside"
We walked outside and she closed the door to lock it and when she closed it a piece of the house fell off.
"I'm tired of this raggedy shit, that's a damn shame"
I laughed to myself and we got into the car and headed to the nail shop.
"I don't know what color I should get? This is the only part I hate about getting my nails done" I said as we were on our way
"I'm a simple lady so all white for the win" my mom replied
"White is plain" I said
"That's fine with me though, I don't mind"
The driver pulled up to the salon and we hopped out.
"His ass getting zero stars because that shit is ridiculous. Had me waiting for forever and a day for him"
"Mom lets go in this salon" I laughed
Once we walked inside I instantly looked at the wall full of colors because I hated being pressured into picking one. I decided to just pick blue and get it over with.
After we got our nails done we went over to the chairs to get our feet done.
"alors, quoi de neuf" I said
Translation:So, what's up?
"What do you mean?" She replied
"Like what do you have to tell me? I know when you treat me that means it's something to tell me so what is it?"
"Okay okay you caught me I'm very guilty"
"I know you are but what is it mom?"
"Okay so I've been seeing this guy right? And I think I like him well I do like him. It's kind of awkward because I haven't dated in years but anyways this guy has been taking me on dates and everything. This is all new for me again but I know for sure that he's a good guy, I'm suppose to meet his parents sometime this week"
"Okay that's good, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you got back into the game and it's that serious? You're meeting the parents already?"
"Yeah I know but he's really open about everything, I like that about him. This week made it two weeks we've been dating or whatever y'all call it nowadays"
"Oh wow! I guess y'all was talking but about to get serious" I laughed
"Whatever, it's called dating and it's one more thing. So you know that I've been wanting to get away from Dallas for forever and my prayers got answered"
"What do you mean?"
"At work. They offered to transfer me to the California office and surprisingly the guy I'm dating is getting transferred there too but we aren't going to live together yet because I told him that, that that'll be a little too much for you. So I was thinking about moving within next month because for one I'm tired of that damn house and it's more money but I wanted you to know before I made a decision because I care about your opinion "
"Yeah, I think you should do whatever makes you happy mom."
I didn't have anything to say, I was happy to be moving but all the way to California? and it wasn't like she was going to wait till I graduated either because we were suppose to move within the next month. I was going to miss my friends and everything that I know of Dallas. It's been hard here but any senior in high school knows that feeling.
"Okay good, I love you so much Ali. I promise California would be good for us"
She said that about Dallas and now look? I was getting my ass whipped and I was knocked up. It wasn't her fault though because I made my own choices but just because you relocate doesn't mean anything besides we were broke as fuck when we moved to Dallas. A fresh start somewhere else would've been nice but right now? No deal. I had to tell her I was pregnant because if not we would move and I'll never see my friends ever again and my baby daddy would probably hunt me down. I didn't know how to tell her though like what the hell would I say?
We left the nail shop and went to get something to eat, I stayed quiet because I was just sad about the situation. Who the hell did I know in California? I didn't know anybody in Dallas when I moved but I wanted a fresh start. Dallas changed my life drastically, I wasn't a regular high school student anymore. I had a whole person growing inside of me and I wanted them to have a stable life. The more I thought about my baby I thought more about how I wanted them to be the total opposite of me and have a different life then me because mine was and is rough.
"Are you okay? Why haven't you said anything? Is this about the move?" My mom asked me
We were waiting on our food and I was just sitting at the table on my phone ignoring her presence.
"It's nothing mom" I replied while looking at my phone
"ALI!" She shouted as she snatched my phone out of my hand
"What you doing?! I was just about to find out why Kamora moved to New York"
(That's an adrenaline reference, if you haven't read it...feel free😂💯!)
"I don't care! If I'm talking to you, you look me in the eyes. You're an young adult but I'll always be your mother and you're not completely grown yet. So what's this attitude about? Is this about the move?" She asked
"Yes! I don't want to move yet! I haven't even graduated yet, I have friends mom. It's hard to leave during the middle of your senior year, I don't want to go to prom alone...I want to go with my friends"
"Ali you'll make new friends okay? It's not hard. You did it once and you'll do it again"
"Mom it's not that easy, I'm an outcast nobody likes girls like me. They look at me and see complete weirdo!"
"You're not a weirdo! Stop saying that, just because you're different from those others girls don't make you weird it makes you unique. I love you so much Ali and I swear to god that I did everything in my power to make sure that you stood out from everybody. Just embrace the fact that you're unique, it's a beautiful thing and I'll see what I can do about you staying down here for the rest of your senior year. I just want you to be happy because I'll be happy and you'll be depressed and that doesn't sit well with me"
"Thanks mom and I'm sorry"
"Apologize, never be sorry and you're welcome dear"
"Well I apologize"
We went home and I was happy that I convinced her to try to stay until I finish my senior year. Now it was one more thing I needed to do...tell both her and Josiah the big news.
Wednesday after school
I was with Gravity and Angel, we were at smoothie king having bonding time...at least that's what Angel called it.
"So have you thought about baby names?" Angel asked as she sipped from her cup
"I haven't thought about anything at this point. I've been stressing about telling my mom and Josiah"
"Just take it easy, tell them when you're ready just don't wait too long because of course you'll start showing" Gravity said
"Yeah you right and I will but it's just so hard to tell her and him because I don't know how they'll react to the news. I know my mom is going to be disappointed but at the same time I don't know what she's going to do or say"
"Stop worrying about it Ali, just focus on you, your kid and school. It's hard and I don't know exactly what your going through but I definitely understand." Angel said
"Yeah you're right but sometimes it's hard to do that"
"it's okay best friend I'm pretty sure you'll find a way to handle it"
"Thanks guys and I mean for everything, sticking by my side and being my friend"
"Of course, just because you made a mistake doesn't mean we were going to stop being friends with you"
We group hugged and then left, when I got home mom was in her room watching tv.
I didn't bother her I just went in my room and thought about how I wanted to tell Josiah and when.
I decided that I'll tell him tomorrow at school, I was so scared but I had to be brave and do what I had to do.
Thursday during lunch
"So what you wanted to talk about?" Josiah asked me
I had texted him this morning letting him know that it was something important I had to tell him. I been told him that I needed space and although he didn't ask I knew he wanted an explanation on why I needed "space" so sudden.
"Josiah before I start, I want to say that—I—I'm sorry" tears ran down my face
What the hell was this? Tear gas? This baby wasn't even big as an egg yet and this motherfucker had me crying about stupid shit
"What? What's wrong?" He asked as he wiped my tears
A TRUE KING!!!!
"I'm pregnant. The only reason I told you not to wait on me was because that was when I found out. My period was late and I didn't even know until my period tracker notified me. I don't want to hurt you, you're a good person and you deserve somebody who's going to treat you like the king you are. I'm so sorry I didn't intend on this to happen it just did."
"Listen Ali, I'm not mad at you. I liked you for a long time, ever since I laid my eyes on you. I waited on you for a reason because I wanted you bad and I knew I was going to get you but you don't understand what you are and who you are. I know what it feels like to be in a toxic relationship with somebody. I've been in one and I didn't get completely get out of it until our 100th attempt trying to "love" each other. Ali, as a friend Ima just say love yourself first before you try to love that nigga that you fucking with. Toxic love is blind and I know what I'm saying to you ain't gon click until later but it's just a piece of advice to carry around with you. We still cool though ain't no hard feelings, no animosity between us. I wish you nothing but the best with your baby and I hope you find somebody that's going to treat you right. I'm glad that you expected me to move on because you don't want to hurt me. That's real mature of you, thank you for that because not ever female built like that."