The Broken Daylily

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Worries and demands

I hope I can be a better mother than I am a wife.

That is what Madilyn had said, according to Andrew, who had heard it from his wife. Thomas hated himself for that. Was it his fault that she felt that way? Was she not also partly to blame? After all, she had come to him telling her she was pregnant.

On her defence, he ought to be glad she told him. She could have tried to live her life while never telling him he had a child. And besides, he could not have gone to her and tell her she was pregnant! That day she admitted everything, could have not gone any different.

But she did not try to get close to him.

On her defence, neither did he.

Darn it.

What was he to do now? Socialize with a lady he did not know? Get to know a lady who was very different from the people he usually talks to?

Should he even worry about all of it? Was she not happy with the way things were now?

No, clearly not. He was certain of that since his butler said Madilyn's lady maid had heard her cry late at night. Apparently it had not been a one time thing.

Was he to blame for her tears? Did she see him as the bad guy, or did she cry because of her own mistake? Should he feel guilty for not crying?

On his defence, he was a man and he should not cry. But he could admit he felt unhappy, which ought to take away that guilt... yes?

A knock on his door startled him, but then his face lightened up. After the butler had entered, Thomas asked him: "has Hugh arrived? Let him in."

"No, my lord," the man said, "the lord of Westwood has not yet arrived."

"Then what is the matter?"

"Your wife wishes to speak with you."

Thomas felt a stab of pain in his chest. She felt the need to call for a butler to announce her presence. She acted like she was a guest in this house instead of the mistress.

But if he must be honest, he agreed with her feeling. He was not certain he would appreciate it when she would just open the door and be comfortable around him.

And that was a wrong feeling to have toward his wife.

"Of course," he managed to say. "Let her in."

The butler stepped away and made room for Madilyn to enter. Though she tried to hide it, he noticed her eyes roaming the room. The staff had told him she spend an entire day discovering every room in the house. But while she could see every other room in the house, he was always in his study. And just like she was avoiding him, he was hiding away from her.

And that made her visit even more surprising.

She cleared her throat and announced: "I would like to go back to London."

She had said it so confidently, yet now her eyes were looking everywhere except for at him.

Thomas swallowed and did not know what to say. He liked staying in Lindenberg. Twas calm and private, and he could work on his investigation without bother.

But he did not want to deny her, for she was hurt enough as it was.

He licked his lips, then said: "mayhap we can leave in a fortnight?"

She pursed her lips, then nodded. "A fortnight sounds good."

She turned around on her heels and walked out of the room. Clearly, a fortnight was not good. She wanted to leave sooner, yet she did not tell him. Why not? Was she frightened by him?