The Broken Daylily

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: A carriage ride to London

A fortnight later, Madilyn woke up, happy it was the last time she had to sleep in this bed. She did not think being in London would make her happy. After all, that was where her family and friends lived. And they had all hated her.

But like Victoria had said, she could invite her or Elizabeth and mayhap make some new friends. She feared it would be difficult. Those ladies were not like Madilyn, and everyone knew that. Twas difficult to suddenly forget that and live together.

And being away from Lindenberg might be a good change. Honestly, every change would be good for Madilyn now. The estate had turned into a shell of silence and depression for her, and she was certain she was in a downward spiral for the duration of her stay here.

With a sigh, she stepped out of the bed and took off her night gown. Then she walked to the mirror and looked at herself. She had been doing this for the past four days, and every time she had felt proud. There had even been a smile on her face.

When she looked at her belly, she saw it was slightly bigger than it used to be. She would turn around and look at a side view, which was more amazing than the front. With her hand, she rubbed over the bump and smiled a bit wider because of the knowledge that underneath, there was a child. And even though she had not seen it yet and she did not know if it was a boy or a girl, she loved it no matter what.

She startled when she suddenly heard a few tunes on the piano. She quickly put on her undergarments, then stayed still to listen to the music. So far, she had been the only one to play an instrument, and it had only been once. She did not know who was playing now, but she could hear the person had a talent for it.

She feared it might be Thomas, and she did not want to disturb him. So she sat down on her bed, closed her eyes and enjoyed the music.

He was quite good, but every once in a while he would play a wrong note. She recognized the song, for she had used it often to practice. Twas calm, yet more peaceful than heart-breaking. It started slow and almost boring, but it build up until in the end, it felt exciting and thriving.

It felt like the person playing was hoping for the same. And Madilyn was too. She hoped that even though everything was slow and uncomfortable now, her life would start to thrive and become exiting. That she could smile more than once a day.

Eventually the song ended, and twas quite sad to know there was no more music in the house. She believed the estate would be much more amazing if piano tunes filled it every day. It would lighten the mood of not only Madilyn, but of the entire staff that looked quite dire.

With a face that was disappointed because of the silence, she called for her lady's maid and got dressed.

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Once their bags were loaded on top of the carriage, Madilyn and Thomas walked outside and entered the carriage. They sat across from each other and Madilyn feared another silent ride. The last time, it had taken them the entire day, and they had not said a word. She had also been in her "wedding dress" – a dress she had had for years – and both of them were quite sad.

But she feared that this ride would not be any different. The carriage had left the Lindenberg property and Thomas' eyes were already on the outside. Madilyn suppressed a sigh. Twould be another long carriage ride.

She was happy to be leaving Lindenberg, for the estate was quite dark and sad. But she surprised Thomas had agreed to it. When he had said "in a fortnight," she expected him to 'forget' about it and not leave for London.

Mayhap that was because her father would always promise things "within the fortnight" and not do them. Apparently Thomas was not like her father. And she truly hoped that, for he would be the father to her child.

Twas not like her father treated her badly, but he was not the father she hoped would be her children's father. He would make promises he would not keep, be too busy with his work to bother about his children, let his wife decide everything – everything – and listen to money rather than the opinion of his daughters. And when he would agree to a decision that turned out to be bad, he would always palliate it or blame it on someone else – for he did not make the choice.

Madilyn mentally shook her head. Her father had disowned her. So just like he did not worry about her anymore, she should not worry about him. Besides, what good would worrying do?

She looked in front of her at Thomas. They were well on the road by now, yet his eyes had not yet left the window. Was he afraid to look at her?

"Was it you who played the piano this morning?" she asked.

He startled, but nodded his head as he looked at her. "My apologies if I woke you."

"You did not. I was already awake." He nodded again, then returned his eyes to the window.

This is not going well, Madilyn thought as she looked at him. She tried to start a conversation, but he did not take it. Was he too busy with thinking of something important, or did he not want to speak to her?

She tried one more time, and hoped this would lead to a better conversation. "You are quite good at it."

"Not as good as you," he answered, while keeping his eyes on the outside.

"I have been trained since I was very young," she explained.

"Me too."

Madilyn nodded, but she was certain he did not see. Was he deliberately avoiding a conversation with her? Did he want her to shut her mouth and hide away like she always had? Was she not even worthy of his gaze?!

"It had been a while since I had played," he admitted, his eyes suddenly on hers. "When I heard you play a few weeks ago, I wanted to do it too. But I would be an embarrassment next to your talent."

"You were good," she assured him.

"No, I made mistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"You did not."

Not while playing the piano, she thought. The rest of her life had become one big mistake. She was suddenly expecting a child that would be born into a pool of rumours, and she was married to the most lenient and ignoring stranger. How could her piano abilities make all of that good?

She did not know how to react to his words, and when she looked at him, she saw him staring outside once again. So she gave up trying to start a conversation. Mayhap she could make the world more happy in her mind.

She thought back of the first morning she saw the little bump on her belly. She had wanted to cheer and call for her lady's maid to tell her to take out the pregnancy stays. But she knew that her belly was too small for the stays.

But after four days, she could no longer hold back. So she told Iris to get her new stays, and the lady agreed, being as excited as Madilyn was. She was three months now, and Iris said it was normal she started to show.

Both women could not hide their content, and with that happy thought in mind, Madilyn made it through the rest of the silent carriage ride. For the next six months, she would wake up every day with a big smile when she would see her bigger tummy.