Tropical Paradise

chapter 4

Another day in the life of the new Tristan.

I had become too much like a celebrity. I missed the days when we played Taylor Swift covers in Brads garage. I missed the days when I could go out with a girl and not have her called a slut by some 'fans'. Most of the fans were lovely of course, but the amount of abuse and hate from jealous bitches is potentially fatal. I didn't want this.

I hadn't felt myself since just after last Christmas, nearly a year ago. I covered it up, like everyone has to eventually. But I just felt so , changed. I don't want to admit that some nights I cried by myself, because I just don't know why. I don't know what happened. I just-

Ugh. I pushed the back button on my phone. I have typed that message out so many times, with the intention of posting it in twitter and letting the world know. Everytime I loose complete confidence around the part where i tell people I cry. They will hate me and call me a wuss or a wimp or worse. I can't face that. I can barely face life as it is.

We walked along the beach. Me, brad, James and Connor. We'd gone for a 2 week break in the Caribbean as we finished recording a song and we all wanted to go for a break. If I'm honest all four of us has been a little down behind closed doors. Just last week Brad didn't say a word for a whole day. He blamed it the next day on a bad night sleep but his eyes looked sad not tired.

The soft sand cushioned my feet which were sore from the 5 minute walk from the hotel. Guess I shouldn't have worn sand shoes. We were about to pass a group of girls sunbathing when one of them caught my eye.

Sometimes I find myself staring at little, insignificant things. Like a clock, phone or table. This that had absolutely no real relevance in my life.

She had perfect skin. Chestnut brown hair that blew in the wind. This time it was different. This time I was staring at an angel. Her slim body complimented her perfectly. She took her sunglasses of. And stared at me just for a second. Her eyes were hazel with beautiful black eye lashes .

She suddenly looked back at me again. She saw me staring, transfixed. She didn't look like a model. Models look shiny, sharp and polished. She looked clear and smooth and natural. I could go on for ever.

I winked at her. The little flame of my old self has come back. I didn't control that wink. It just happened.

My foot got caught in her chair but it was too late. 'FUCK' I thought.

I tripped but landed on my feet. She however, had fallen on the floor. Instinctively I immediately knelt down and

Helped get the chair of her. "OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?" Her drink had spilt. I felt so guilty. Her eyes stared into mine. Could she possibly like me? Pfft no. I beauty queen like that would never have any interest in me. Still, i wasn't going to let her go that easily.

"OH MY GOSH I'M SO SORRY!"

"Its fine honestly."

"No its not let me buy you a drink!"

"I don't mind-"

"do you have a name?" I asked.

"Ellie."

"well Ellie, I'm going to buy you a drink if it kills me. I grabbed her hand and ran towards the cocktail bar.