Tropical Paradise

Chapter 11

*Ellie's POV*

I was being gradually pulled out of my sleep by the inevitability and dread of surfacing from the warm bed. I still couldn't think straight and wasn't completely sure whether or not I was actually out of my sleep. I forced my heavy eye lids open.

They immediately shut again, retreating from the sharp pain the sunlight attacked my eyes with.

Fuck. I must be hung over.

I can't even remember entering the hotel room I was in. Wait. Hotel room? Why wasn't I in my room?

It was that point when the soft breeze brushed against my face. Fuck. I was in the Caribbean.

After that temporary moment of severe confusion, it all came back to me like flipping through the pages of a photo album. I remembered the beach. I remembered meeting Tris, and a smile I couldn't explain flooded across my face. I remembered the shots.

Slowly, fearing the same searing pain as before, I opened my eyes again. This wasn't the hotel room I checked into. I must have... no, I wouldn't. Even though I knew in my heart that I would never let myself just be a one night stand to anyone, a shot of anxiety squeezed my heart.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the still sleeping figure of a blond haired boy lying on the small sofa. I sank back into the dreamless sleep I had left moments ago.

...

I woke up again to the sound of a door clicking open. This time my eyes didn't hurt as much, my head did. I sat up. Rubbing my temples that pounded to my heartbeat.

Tris laughed. "Hung over too eh?" I groaned and hid my face in the duvet.

"I can't even remember what happened last night!"

"Well let me think. James attacked a boy who tried to hit on Katie, Brad and Alex seemed to get along well as he wouldn't let anyone other than himself talk to her for the whole night, Connor and Hollie went off somewhere for a few minutes but he's now denying he knows her, and YOU passed out." I laughed and looked up. His messy blond hair was more messy than normal, but he still looked like perfection. He still made me feel like the only person that mattered right now was him. He still gave me that warm feeling where the world is such a brighter place when he's around. God.

I could feel myself falling for him.

I could sense what I was getting into.

I could guess how it would end.

Just like the last one. A man loves you until things start to go wrong in your life. I got addicted. It started of just as a caffeine addiction. But before I could even start to pull my life back together, I found myself not sleeping, not eating, barely talking, just drinking coffee and going for runs. Running was the only way to vent my thoughts out into something productive, something to take my mind off just how messed up my life was getting. It drained your mental energy so much so that by the end of it even talking to another human seemed unreachable. However I couldn't get by on a 900 cal a day diet whilst running for at least 3 hours a day; so coffee became my second addiction.

But anyone knows that its not quite that simple. Caffeine makes you jittery and restless. Your mind can't sleep. Your whole body on edge, ready to get up and run. You become jumpy, if someone even nudges your shoulder unexpectedly you practically leap off your chair. So to lose some energy, you vent your excited thoughts the only way you know how, running.

Eventually it got to the point where I went out for a run at two in the morning. stopped of at a cafe at seven where I drank coffee, I got changed, drank another two coffee, and walked down the high street to my 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. shift as a fifties diner waitress. I took the job not because of the sickly coloured uniform or the minimum length of the skirt or the passing comments of undevoted husbands, but because it meant I was always on my feet, or roller skates if you want to be accurate. At 10 I would have run back to our apartment, watched some supernatural or doctor who, and then tried to sleep. I wouldn't have said a word of hello to my ex partner, and then ran out when the 3/4 cups of coffee kept my mind racing and full of a data wave I couldn't fathom into binary. This happened for two weeks before I got the text telling me he was on the train back to Glasgow, with a box full of his stuff, and I was left with an empty apartment a crappy job and nothing to live for. I think I still loved him when he left me, and I think he still loved me, but I had so many feelings and so many thoughts and contradictions and hypothesis' and conclusions and observations and deductions and inductions that we both didn't know if I was the same person that fell in love with him.

It was six months ago. I moved on. I healed. I got an office job at a paper distribution firm. And life became the same old boring routine that people can just about live with. I wouldn't have been able to cope without my friends. Once I'd recovered fully I got back in touch with all of them and apologized for my absence. They made me  me again.

But I couldn't fall for the same love story again. I couldn't let myself go through a phase where I neglected everyone in my life. I feared that having a relationship again would make me feel guilty over the slightest thing, which spirals into another phase. Tristan deserved better than me. Much better.

I sighed at the hope that had just sunk away with my sense of trust and stability.

"Whats wrong?" Tris asked. I realized how long I had been day dreaming for, and how far away I must have looked.

"Nothing." Already I could hear that the tone of my voice had darkened.

"No what is it?" Tris asked, looking concerned and sitting on the bed. I immediately stood up and panicked. Even showing any emotion was often made me feel off guard.

"Just remembered, I err, I have to go and phone a colleague, excuse me. Thank you for letting me sleep here-" I said just before I slammed the door.

Fuck! What was I doing? I wanted to stop but my feet just kept going along the floor. I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday but that didn't matter. I just needed some space.

I sprinted toward the lift, I could hear Tristan behind me but my mind was racing too fast too make out any of the words. The doors closed and immediately regretted my decision. Thankful that the lift was empty, I sunk to the floor and buried my head in my hands. I hated myself for leaving him like that. I hated myself for my barriers that protected my emotions.

**A.n  yay I'm writing again! next chapter will not be this but instead will be some Brad and Alex, and then the chapter after that I will continue Tris and Ellie. What do you think of it so far/ any requests?