Conflicted

Chapter One

* Jonah's POV *

"I can't be your friend anymore." Those words hit me like a bus. I couldn't lose my only friend, and he's all I have. "W-Why not? Yo-you said you'd always be here if I-I needed you," I said, fighting back the tears. "If they see me talking to you at school, they'll start picking on me too! I don't want to be a target, and you make me a target!" Chase said coldly. With that, Chase turned around and walked away, leaving me completely alone. I didn't say anything, and I knew there was nothing I could say would change his mind.

*Beep beep beep*

I open my eyes with a sigh and reach over to my nightstand, turning my alarm off. I slowly bring my hand to my face wiping off the leftover moisture. I guess I had been crying again. Stupid dreams, I wish they would leave me alone. My life is better now, and I don't have to worry about it too much anymore. Still, my mind won't let me forget. "Jonah! Are you awake yet?" I hear my Aunt Cindy yell from the kitchen, which caused me to snap from my thoughts. "Yeah!" I call back to her. I smile lightly and sit up, deciding it's probably time I start getting ready for school. I hated school, but I knew from experience it could be a lot worse. Yeah, I still got bullied by someone, but it's nothing like it used to be. I sigh while digging through my closet. It's the first day if a new school year and I had no idea what I wanted to wear. After a good ten minutes of digging, I decide on a simple green button-up and black skinny jeans. I take a minute to brush through my semi curly hair. Nothing too fancy, I didn't care about my appearance anyway. I'm nothing special I have curly orange hair and pretty simple green eyes with some freckles sprinkled on my pale face. I also have a scar on my cheek, a constant reminder of the past that I know will haunt me forever.

I'm the only gay kid at my school, hell, even if I wasn't, I'm sure they would still ignore me anyway. The only time people stop to talk to me is to make fun of me. That didn't bother me though I'm perfectly fine with being alone. I don't ever want to make a friend again. It'll only end in them leaving. I frown at the thought and sigh. I brush my teeth and finish getting ready before heading downstairs for breakfast.

I wasn't that hungry, but I knew that it worried my Aunt when I didn't eat. The last thing I needed was to cause her any more stress. I slowly entered the kitchen to see Aunt Cindy humming softly while cooking what my nose guessed to be bacon. I smiled and quietly sat at the island. "What's for breakfast?" I ask, causing her to jump. She probably hadn't heard me come into the kitchen since I'm often pretty quiet even without meaning to be. "Excited to go back to school?" I fake a smile and nod, causing her to frown.

"You know you don't have to lie to me, Jonah. I know school isn't your favourite place to be, but education is important, I'm not going to let you throw that away." I nodded, listening to her. "I know," I say plainly. "Things have gotten better. I wouldn't lie about that. I worry about it happening all over again." I admit looking down a little bit. I hated admitting that I was still scared of people, but I knew Aunt Cindy wouldn't judge me, the only thing she ever wanted to do was help. A plate with bacon and eggs slowly slides its way into my view, causing me to look up to my Aunt, smiling softly back at me. "It's okay to be scared, but you can't let those fears control your life. They'll only hold you back from experiencing things you could enjoy." She bent down and gave me a soft kiss on the top of the head. "I've gotta head to work. Have a great day at school, honey!" with that, she heads towards the door and leaves.

I finish half of my breakfast and put the rest in the fridge for later. I wasn't hungry, but I also didn't want to be wasteful. I knew it was probably expensive to start raising a teen out of nowhere, and I didn't want to seem ungrateful for the things that my Aunt has done for me. I look at the time and sigh, knowing its time for me to leave. I knew my Aunt was right and that I shouldn't hold myself back out of fear, but I knew I wasn't going to try and make friends this year. Probably not until I went to college if I decide that's something I wanted to do in a few years.