Broken

The Interview

3rd person POV

Taehyung was told that he's gonna be interviewed by the end of this week which is only 3 days from now. He's terrified and nervous at the same time but his mother assured him that its nothing like an official interview. It was just like 'talking to a friend' kind of interview, as his eomma put it.

Taehyung spends most of his days in his appa's office, learning everything he can from Namjoon. He doesn't mind it at all, in fact, he kinda need the distraction but every now and then, he cant help it, his mind starts to wander to a certain guy who lit up the world with his bunny smile. He's been texting with Jungkook lately but not too often. He replies him whenever he can and most of the time he keep their conversation short.

Its not that he doesnt want to talk to Jungkook, its just that he's still confuse. He's confuse with Jungkook's behavior and he's confuse about himself. There's so much at stakes for Taehyung and he just dont know.

"Taehyung?" Taehyung was snapped out of his mind.

"Huh?" He ask. Namjoon look at him, concerned.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung just nod his head. "Yea im probably just tired" he added

"Nervous about your interview tomorrow?" Taehyung's eyes were about to pop out from the socket.

"WHAT? ITS TOMORROW?" Namjoon was just teasing Taehyung, he thought that Taehyung is nervous about his interview tomorrow but judging from his reaction, its something else thats bugging him.

"Dude, yea its tomorrow. Are you okay?" Namjoon stopped writing notes on the document and look at Taehyung. Taehyung exhale his breath and put on a smile but before he was about to answer Namjoon, he spoke up. "Dont even think of saying 'yea im okay' or 'yea im fine' because im not buying it"

Taehyung exhale his breath, and lean back, putting his back on the back of the chair and look at the ceiling. "What am i gonna do Joonie Hyung?" This feels nostalgic, Taehyung only address him 'Joonie' when he's in a situation he cant handle or he cant solve.

"Is it about Jungkook?" Taehyung just look at him, he didnt answer the question and Namjoon knows its about Jungkook even if Taehyung didnt answer him. "You guys still talked?" He carefully asked. Taehyung nod his head.

"Whats bugging you?" Namjoon tries to find the root of Taehyung's problem. He cant help solve them if he doesnt know what the problem is.

"I dont know what to do with this marriage. I mean now that i know everything, i feel like, i dont know, like shit! His explanation did not help anything and im angry, im angry at Jungkook for lying to me this whole time. I know he didnt mean to but i feel like he choose Jackson over me and im just angry! He could've told me hyung! And his change in behavior during those months are just, how should i put it, fucked up? One minute he's saying all these things but then his behavior is saying the complete opposite. I wanted to believe in his words, i do but im scared. What if i give this a chance and he change again?" He paused and the he continued.

"I dont want this to end, i want to give Jungkook another chance but im scared, what if he got hurt in the future because of me? What if something happened to him because of me? What if people said things to him because of me? What if because of me.." Taehyung cant hold it back anymore. He's crying. He has kept his feelings bottled up and now its catching back to him and he's overwhelmed.

"I watched how Jimin and Yoongi is acting at home and i cant help it. Im jealous of what they have because i want that, i want that with Jungkook and now i...." he wipe his tears. Truthfully, he's tired if crying over the same shit again and again.

"What if i'll never be able to have that" He said it while smiling.

Namjoon was silent the whole time, not because he doesnt know what to say, its because he want Taehyung to vent out. Taehyung is feeling a lot of emotions right now and he doesnt know how to deal with it. He's angry at Jungkook for lying to him, he's hurting by Jungkook's behavior the past couple of months but at the same time he loves Jungkook, he misses him, he missed the old Jungkook who is always so sweet and caring, the one who promised to never leave his side no matter what.