Perfect Imperfections

Chapter 12 - Too Far

CHAPTER TWELVE

There's nobody like you
Nobody like you
I've tried "goodbye" a hundred times, not one of them true
Nobody like you
Nobody like you
I'm screaming, "I don't want you" but you know that I do.

××××

He kissed me back for a moment, before pulling away suddenly, almost unwillingly. He took a step back and I took one forward, my attention focused solely on his lips.

"Flora, stop." Evan grabbed my arms to keep me steady.

"Why? I don't want to."

"Because you do stupid stuff when you're drunk and you will regret it later."

"Joke's on you. I do stupid stuff when I'm sober too. Atleast I'll have something good to regret."

"Flora you don't understand-"

"No, I don't understand, Evan, so please fucking explain!" I shouted, my frustration reaching its peak. "Do you really hate me so much that you don't even want to be in the same room as me? Why don't you ever let me speak? Are you this convinced that everything I say is just a lie? Did you ever even love me?"

He was visibly shocked by my outburst, but I was too overwhelmed to care.

"I did love a girl once." He said softly, looking away. "But you're not her. Not anymore."

"You can't say that before you hear me out. You can't pretend like you don't care anymore because I know you do."

"Why would I care? There is nothing left between us anymore for me to care. You can do whatever you want, Flora, it's none of my business anymore."

"Whatever I want? So you'll be okay if I start dating someone else? If I never see you again?"

"Yes," he said between gritted teeth. "Why would I stop you?"

"Then look me in the eye when you say that, you coward!" I hissed.

"Flora, this is not the right time to do this." he said lowly.

"You don't get to decide that." I spoke with determination. "You said enough the other night, now it's your turn to listen."

"Everything you said about me was right. I used to be a thieve,a deceit, a fucking liar. But that was before you, Evan. I lied about a lot of things, but being in love with you wasn't one of them." I whispered. I could see him suck in a deep breath as the words left my mouth. I hadn't been vulnerable with him for a long time and laying all my emotions bare in front of him wasn't easy, but I knew if I didn't speak now I would never be able to tell him my side of things.

"Then why didn't you tell me the truth? Why did you put that pill in my drink?"

"Because I was scared! I've lost everyone I've ever loved before and I was afraid to lose you too! I know its stupid, but I thought by pretending that my lie was my reality everything would be fine." I wiped off the few tears that had escaped. "When you asked me to marry you, I got very overwhelmed and I acted on impulse. But I never meant to put that pill in your drink. I was going to tell you the truth, I swear, but you found out before I even got the chance."

Evan heaved out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I don't know what to believe. I feel like I don't know anything about you."

I looked down, having nothing left to say. I had already heard and said enough. I didn't want to lose him, but how can I if I never really had him in the first place?  Could I let my guard down for the possibility of things working out? It was a shot in the dark and my heart was already damaged.

"I don't know what to tell you." I muttered. I couldn't bring down my walls again no matter how hard I tried. It took me a lot of efforts the last time and the pain I felt after Evan betrayed me was too much to bear. "I should leave. I'm sorry I came here."

"Flora, wait-" I heard him say, but I was already closing the door behind me.

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Today was the rehearsal dinner, the last event before the wedding tomorrow. I couldn't tell if time was moving too slowly or too fast. A month ago, I never would've thought that I would see Evan ever again. Now I don't know what the future holds for us, but I can't seem to stay away.

There is no future for you both, Flora. In few days this will all be over and you'll never see him again.

Losing Evan was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I couldn't go through all that again. It was just too much for me to handle. I looked around me and cursed myself for being so sad in such a perfect place.

We were at a beautiful seaside arrangement for the rehearsal dinner. There were fairy lights and lanterns everywhere, glowing in the midst of the palm trees. The cool breeze was blowing freely, tickling my skin carelessly. There were flowers; white roses and lilies. The sun was starting to set, giving the sky a blueish color with orange hues.

It was the perfect setting in the perfect place, exactly what I had dreamt of when Evan asked me to marry him. Things were short lived, but in that short time I had seen so many dreams and filled my heart with so much hope for both of us. Now, it's all here, so close to me, yet completely unreachable.

"Flora, you've made the most perfect arrangements." Zachary said, appearing from behind me. "This is exactly what Emily wanted. She is going to be very happy."

"I'm glad." I smiled at him. "Speaking of her, where is Emily, though? The guests will start arriving soon. There should be someone from her side present." I said, unsure if I should ask him about Evan straight up. I knew him and Emily suspected that there was something between Evan and I, but I didn't want them to find out about our history together. It would just make things awkward.

"Emily is with her bridesmaids. Don't worry, they are bringing her out in a few minutes."

"Oh," I tried to hide my disappointment when he didn't say anything about Evan. "I should probably make sure all the arrangements are done properly. I'll see you in a bit."

I was sulking by myself, playing with my purse when a voice called me. "Flora?" A man said, catching my attention. I had seen him a few times during the pre-wedding events. He was handsome, but not like Evan. Nothing like Evan. "Hi, I'm Austin, Zachary's friend."

"Hi Austin, I'm Flora." I shook his extended hand politely.

"I know. Zachary told me you're their wedding planner. You've arranged all the events so beautifully. I must say, you're quite talented."

I laughed. "Thank you."

We chatted for a bit and did some flirting. It was casual and I thought it was a good way to distract myself, although it was proving to be very hard.

"You look gorgeous by the way." he offered me a sweet smile. "If you're not too busy, do you mind getting a drink?"

"Sorry, I-" I was about to decline when my eyes landed on the devil himself. Evan was staring straight in my direction, his eyes throwing glares at us.

I remembered his words from yesterday. He had said he didn't care when I asked him how he would feel if I went out with another guy.

You can do whatever you want, Flora, it's none of my business anymore. Why would I stop you?"

A smile slowly appeared on my face when I saw his clenched fists. He wanted to play, we could play.

"Actually, sure. Why not?" I smiled at Austin, putting my hand in his as we started walking to the bar.

I threw Evan a smirk before turning, watching his jaw tighten in anger.

It's on, Evan Carter.

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