Perfect Imperfections

Chapter 15 - So Badly

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Even though I try I can't let go
Something in your eyes
Captured my soul
And every night I see you in my dreams
You're all I know
I can't let go

××××

I groaned into my pillow and blew my hair out of my face in frustration. It had been hours of tossing and turning, yet sleep just wouldn't come to me. The night was far from over.

My car ride with Evan back to the party was filled an uncomfortable silence which still hadn't left me. I still couldn't stop thinking about... everything.

I didn't know what Evan wanted. I didn't even know what I wanted. I felt so confused by the things he did and said that I put so much blame on him, but I never even considered how my actions and words were confusing him too. Did I get so blinded by my pain that I forgot about his?

When did things get this complicated? They always were, you just never tried sorting through them properly.

I groaned and I got up, put on a jacket and shoes and decided to go out for some fresh air. I checked the time on my watch-2AM, it showed in big black figures. I could almost see the dark circles that were bound to show up under my eyes in it.

The hotel was buzzing with work and chaos even at that time. I wanted to be some place quiet, so I headed out. I was contemplating getting in a taxi and making a run for it when someone caught my eye.

Evan was sitting by the hotel's pool all alone, his legs dipped in the water as he stared straight ahead of him, seemingly lost in thoughts. I took a small step towards him although he still hadn't noticed me. Red signals went off in my head and deciding that it was probably a bad idea, I turned around quickly.

I couldn't deal with him now when my own thoughts and emotions were such a mess.

"Flora?"

Great, the universe is really on my side tonight.

"Evan." I turned around. "I-I didn't see you."

"Yes, you did." he retorted smugly. "You saw me and turned the other way."

"Yes. No. I mean yes." I bit my lip as he raised an eyebrow at me. "It just seemed like you wanted to be alone."

I didn't know what I was thinking, but my feet were moving on their own and I found myself sitting beside Evan, slowing dipping my toes in the water next to him.

"So," Evan leaned to look at my face, while I kept my eyes fixed on the water. "Trouble sleeping?"

"I...guess." I mumbled.

"You're not-I mean you're..okay, right?" he asked almost hesitantly.

I looked up at his face and I could see worry written all over it. A warmth spread in the pit of my stomach. It had been a while since I saw him looking at me with so much care and concern.

A small, sad smile made its way on my lips. "Don't worry. No nightmares tonight."

He nodded, not pushing it any further. He glanced at my hand before looking back at me. He slowly shifted closer before slipping his palm into mine and intertwining our fingers together. His skin was warm and felt like home. He felt like home.

I let out a sigh, feeling all the stress and tension I felt the past few days leave me. The man sitting beside me was the only one who could cause a whirlwind of emotions in me, but he was also the only one who could take it all away and make me feel peace and calm for once.