Pictures Of You

Chapter 5

Amy paced around her room, she was trying to calm down but just couldn't; it felt as though every second, a new set of butterflies began running amuck in her stomach. Amy was finally going to get to know her father, she'd thought about this for years but now that it was finally happening; she didn't know how to feel.

"You have nothing to worry about." Karma said, sitting on Amy's bed; watching Amy pace.

"How can you know that?" Amy asked, still pacing.

"Because it's just lunch." Karma said.

"What if he hates me?" Amy asked.

"He will not hate you." Karma said.

"How can you know that?" Amy asked.

"Because it's impossible to hate you." Karma said.

"What if we have nothing in common? What if we just have nothing to talk about and it's the most awkward lunch in the history of awkward lunches? I mean you know I can't do small talk." Amy said.

"Look, it is going to be weird at first, for both of you. But once you're past that initial awkwardness, it'll be great. He's going to love you." Karma said walking toward Amy.

Somehow Karma's words managed to calm Amy down and she stopped pacing.

"I know you're scared and nervous, but everything is going to be okay, I promise." Karma said, putting her hands on Amy's arms.

"Thank you." Amy said, smiling.

Karma just smiled back at Amy and pulled her into a hug. Karma was worried about Amy's dad hurting her again, but she'd never tell Amy that; she knew how nervous Amy was but she also knew how much Amy had always wanted this and so Karma tried her best to be as supportive as possible.

"Do I look okay?" Amy asked, taking once last look at herself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful." Karma said. Amy was wearing a knee length, sleeveless white dress. She dreaded wearing dresses but when she did wear them, she looked beautiful; a kind of beautiful that was different from Amy's everyday beauty.

Amy smiled at Karma's reflection in the mirror. Amy took a deep breath, turned toward Karma with a nervous smile on her face and left to meet her dad.

Amy and Jack were going to meet at Luke's, which somehow calmed Amy down because of how familiar, and safe it felt. Once Amy reached, she found Jack sitting in a booth by the window, smiling at her as she walked toward him.

"Hey." Amy said, smiling as she took a seat in front of Jack.

"Hi, you look beautiful." Jack said, realizing for the first time how truly beautiful his daughter is.

"Thanks." Amy said, getting a little embarrassed.

"I've never been here, what should I order?" Jack asked, as he read through the menu.

"The lobster's amazing." Amy said.

"Hi Amy." A waitress said.

"Hi Wendy." Amy said.

Once Amy'd placed the order, just based on memory; Jack asked, "So you've been here before?"

"It's my favorite restaurant." Amy said, smiling.

After a little bit of small talk, once Amy and Jack had gotten comfortable in each other's company, Amy was ready to hear his side of things.

"So you never really told me why you left." Amy said.

Jack looked disappointed, he knew this was bound to come up but he didn't want to talk about it; ruin the amazing afternoon he was having with his daughter.

Jack didn't say anything for a moment, trying to carefully word what he was about to say; it was now that Amy noticed the golden wedding band on Jack's finger. Jack played with his wedding band, as he began speaking. "When your mother and I got married, we were still pretty young. I hadn't figured out what I wanted to do with my life and I was very confused about my future but I didn't realize how confused I really was for a very long time. Your mom and I were very happy for a very long time but somewhere along the way, my confusion and my lack of direction caught up with me."

Jack paused for a second, taking a sip of his water. " I wasn't happy, but it wasn't because of your mother, she was everything I'd ever wanted but the problem was that I didn't become any of the things I thought I would be. In college, I thought I'd start my own software company and I did, but it never took off. Your mom always supported me but I just didn't know how to deal with failing. The only time I remember being genuinely happy was when you were born."

Amy couldn't help but smile at what Jack had said, feeling a little touched.

"During one of the many conferences I attended, trying to meet someone who'd help me with my company, I met someone, a woman." Jack continued.

"You had an affair." Amy said, starting to feel a lump form in her throat.

"When I found out your mom was pregnant with you, I broke up with the other woman . I never spoke to her until the time you were two. We met again and we got back together. I knew it was wrong and I wanted to break it off but then I found out she was pregnant." Jack said.

"Is she the person you're married to?" Amy asked, staring at jack's wedding band.

"Yeah." Jack said, looking down at the ring on his finger.

"Why would you do that to mom?" Amy asked, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I didn't mean to, I just I wanted to be happy again and being with Lindsay, it made me happy. I know that's no excuse but I am truly sorry, Amy." Jack said.

"You left me and mom, to raise your child with that other woman and never once did you come around to check on me, see how we were doing." Amy said.

"Amy.." Jack began.

"I need to get out of here." Amy said, getting up.

"Amy, I'm sorry, please don't go." Jack said.

"I cant stay.. I'll see you around." Amy said, as she walked toward the door. She couldn't stop crying. All this time, she'd been blaming her mom for shutting Jack out but she was right.

Amy didn't even think about it and went directly to Karma's house.

"Hey, what are you doing here, you should be at lunch." Karma said.

Amy didn't say anything; she just went and sat next to Karma on her bed.

"What happened, Amy?" Karma asked, it was only now that she'd seen the tears on Amy's cheeks, her mascara spreading.

"I'm sorry Karma." Amy said.

"For what?" Karma asked.

"For hurting you, for betraying you. Until today, I had no idea what it feels like to have your heart shattered like that." Amy said, fresh tears falling down her cheeks.

Neither of them said anything, they just sat there; surrounded by nothing but silence.