Pictures Of You

Chapter 11

Amy didn't know how to stop her life from falling apart. She'd asked Jack for sometime to think through things and after a couple of days, when she finally felt ready; they went for lunch together.

"So.." Jack said, nervously looking at Amy.

"I just.. I need to know somethings." Amy said.

"Sure, whatever you want." Jack said.

"How did you even meet your wife?" Amy asked.

"She ran in the same circles as me and then she od'ed once and so she decided to clean up her act. I used for a while but then when she got pregnant, she helped send me to rehab so I could be a good father to our child." Jack said.

Amy didn't say anything; she stared at the napkin in her lap, not wanting to look at Jack.

"Please say something." Jack said.

"I don't even know what to say." Amy said.

"Say anything, just say something." Jack said, almost pleading.

"I don't know what to say, you cleaned up your act for your other kid, but you couldn't do it for me?" Amy asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"I wasn't in my senses, okay. I relapsed a couple of years after that, I just recently got my life back together and not being there for you, is my biggest regret." Jack said.

Amy tried to control the anger she was feeling but with the way things were, she just couldn't keep any of it in. "You know what sucks? Is that you never even tried, I spent so long wondering about you, hoping and praying that one day you'd just show up and all this would've been a horrible dream."

"I know I've caused you and your mother a lot of pain and I know I don't deserve another chance.." Jack said.

"You're right, you don't deserve another chance." Amy said, interrupting Jack.

Jack took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. "But I was hoping that you'd give me a chance anyway."

"Why should I do that? So you can hurt me again? Leave again?" Amy asked.

"Because I know that I missed your life, that you had go through things without a father but I don't want you to go through the rest of your life without one, the way I don't want to go through the rest of my life without a daughter." Jack said.

"What if you leave again? Then what? You're life will go back to normal but my life will never be the same again." Amy said.

"I won't leave." Jack said.

"The same way you didn't leave earlier?" Amy asked.

"I'm trying to fix my mistakes, Amy." Jack said.

"Yeah well, you're mistakes ruined my life and I have enough crap going on, to let you try to fix anything." Amy said.

"Amy, come on." Jack said.

"It's all too much. I can't deal with this right now." Amy said.

"Don't walk out on me again, please." Jack said, a lump forming in his throat.

"I'll call you. I just need some space, my head is all over the place. "Amy said, taking a deep breath.

"I'll be waiting." Jack said.

Amy gave Jack a half smile and left. Jack sat there, wondering if he'd ever get a chance to make up for lost time, fix what he knew he'd broken.

Amy just kept trying to resist the urge to run away, just find a way to forget the past couple of months. She hadn't spoken to Karma, since that night; and she wasn't even sure that she wanted to speak to her.