Her Murkiness [Werewolf Story]

Chapter Twenty Two

"The future that we hold is so unclear."

---------------------

The ache to be with him and to be his was overpowering me. In this enchanted and absurd forest, none of my choices seemed to be meant as sane. I turned to the left to look at Agustin. His back was facing me and I let out a shaky breath.

His body stiffened as in sensing his mate, but he didn’t turn to face me. I wanted to see him, I wanted his green orbs to tell me what’s right. My wolf was raging inside of me, the bond was inevitably pulling me closer to the ridiculous decision that I would choose him. I would choose what I would have for now, only if I were lucky, over the constant in my life and my responsibilities and the vow to my dad : My pack.

My eyes stung at the possibility of losing what I have spent almost all my life building.

Agustin’s words from the discrete days in this forest rung in my ears as a reminder of what we are,

"I would have these little moments with you, than not have you at all."

"Regardless of this bond Vivienne."

“What do you want?”

“You are a mere distraction to me Vivienne and my only distraction.”

“If you were listening to yourself, you would have stayed with me.”

“Vivienne. Shout at me all you want. I won’t leave ever. Not again. Not after how I know how it feels to have you now.”

“I love you.”

Everything he has ever said to me came crashing to my world in realization. I love him and he loves me. Am I going to be like everyone else? Selfishly tossing away love?

I walked to Agustin’s shaking body and sat beside him at a safe distance. I took his cold hands in mine and ran my thumb over his. His grip tightened on my hand, then he released it as if somehow he knew I was leaving him for the pack. I closed my eyes in attempt to relax myself from the sudden burst of attraction I felt as my thumb traced patterns over his only seconds ago.

“I need water.” I muttered.

His hands moved to the bag on his side. He fumbled for the bottle and I pushed my damp hair to the side. Agustin barely looked at me as he handed me the water, but then his eyes froze at my exposed neck. His mark.

“There’s a way to remove it.” The woman interfered.

The tension in the air was suffocating as I pushed my hair over the mark nodding. He cleared his throat and looked away. I knew he was pained, I could feel it.

The cool water didn’t seem to ease me as I stared ahead of me. “I’m still thinking.” I clarified.

He barely nodded still refusing to look at me. If he thought it was the last time he would see me, why wasn’t he looking at me? Why wasn’t he embracing our last moments? I stared at his back, the way his muscles tensed through his thin shirt and his palms sweaty. His hands clutched the bag ready to leave when I told him to.

‘Agustin, I still haven’t decided.’

His shoulders slumped but really what was I doing?  Why was I giving him hope on something I haven’t yet decided upon?

Why was he so fast to grasp to the idea of leaving?

Could it be because it hurt less? Should it not hurt if you actually choose to leave rather than leaving someone out of the blue?

Or was it better just to vanish from the lives of people you love, because you don’t want them to think that you actually took time to think and choose to be away?

I was the desperate girl for answers in the woods.

If I took him with me to the ‘The Perilous’, we would never have this glimpse of hope with ‘The embroider’ and I’ll just wreck us more.

I need to save him, I have to save him from myself.

My love for him has always been poison and venom.

The woman looked at us almost with sympathy. Almost.

Agustin pushed himself from the ground and stalked away from me. “Agustin!” I shouted after him.

‘I need to get away from here, I can’t handle being this close.’

He said in our mind-link desperately.

‘I decided.’

I surprised myself by saying.

He instantly turned around taking long steps to reach me. The woman watched us closely. She studied my face and looked into my eyes as if she were reading my next words. Her stare was cold and I glared at her threatening her only existence. She shrugged and turned away hopefully giving us some privacy.

I looked at him as he walked closer towards me. “Look at me.” I pleaded.

“Vivienne..” My heart stopped as he trailed off still refusing to look at me. I reached out my hand but he flinched and backed away. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as he continued still looking at the ground, “The last time I really saw your face, it was bright with happiness and excitement as we finally reached the destination. I don’t want to look at you right now, I already feel your pain and I want to remember that the last time I saw you in, you were happy.”

His declaration startled me as I looked at his apprehensive figure. My hand uncontrollably traced the mark incised on my pale skin. She said I could remove it, did I want to? If I leave, did I want a reminder of us so that I won’t ask, “Was it real what I had with this boy?”

The time was limited and I made my decision. “Agustin.” I breathed in the suffocating air. His name on my tongue sent shivers down his body. I gulped as my dad’s words welcomed my brain swirling with thoughts,

“I give away the title to you, do it for us.”

----------------------

DON'T FORGET TO 

-VOTE

-COMMENT

LOTS OF LOVE,

The author,

-Lea