The Wall Between Us

Chapter 7 - An Abortion

Expectation is the root of all heartache - William Shakespeare

ENITAN

When I asked if he had called off the wedding, a little part of me hoped for a miracle. His silence felt like a blow to my chest. I felt stupid for letting myself have a glimmer of hope.

Clearly, I was on my own. Having his baby won't change that. But what did I expect, that he'd break off the engagement and pick me?

I laid underneath the sheets, deep in thought. The sound of an animation on TV played in the background, but it failed to distract me. My eyes remained fixated on the beeping heart monitor, till past five in the evening when Tanya sneaked in.

"Did someone die in here?"

I turned my head to the door and saw the gleaming smile plastered on her makeup free, yet beautiful face. Her short figure wobbled from the door to the middle of the room, causing the black wavy hair extension to bounce over the grey turtleneck sweater. With one hand on her hip that was outlined by the blue fitted jean, she swayed her curves in an exaggerated catwalk towards the sofa, then dumped her hand bag on it.

I couldn't help the half smile that crept up my face. Tanya depicted sunshine on a cloudy day and everyday I thanked God I met her during our National Youth Service in Adamawa.

"You're late."

She smiled. "Is that an 'I miss you' I hear?"

I adjusted my position, so I now faced her.

"Bunny-" I sighed.
I wished she could read my mind and feel the emptiness in my chest. I contemplated on telling her about the pregnancy, but my brain still processed the news and I struggled to sort out my feelings about taking my life. I didn't want her to influence my decision, so I kept shut.

"Sad much? I brought you something to cheer you up. A new phone! I had a friend of mine in computer village deliver it over the weekend," She reached for the bag on the sofa.

"What's this?" She asked. Walking to the small bedside cabinet.

I peeped at the top of the cabinet but couldn't see what she asked about.

"Wow. They're discharging you, why didn't you tell me?"

"What?" I asked, confused. But my eyes spotted the white envelope in her hands and I panicked.

"Tanya don't," I warned. But it came too late as she already ripped off the seal and opened it like a Christmas gift.

"Why is a lab test lying around careless- Wait. Oh my God!" She screamed, with a hand covering her mouth while the other held the paper as she stared eyes wide at it.

I hate you Jameel. I mentally face-palmed. He must have forgotten the test results there after Nathan interrupted. What if Nathan had seen it?

"I'm going to be an aunty and a godmother!" She jumped and screamed, excited.

"Tanya please sit."

"Dear baby, please be a girl," She rubbed my flat belly, I looked at it too, it didn't feel a living being was growing inside of it. She rambled on about her plans for the baby.

I closed my eyes and my mind drifted to space, her voice faded into a distant babble. My head ticked, like a time bomb with only three seconds left.

"I'm not keeping it," I blurted out.

"What!" Her eyes grew the size of a baseball.

"I'm not keeping the baby," I said. This time, confidently. My eyes opened but did not meet hers, still I felt the heat of her gaze.