~ Chapter 10 ~

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I was pissed

I have this deep resentment in my chest and I don't know how to get rid of it. I climbed through my window and locked my door. When the morning came I didn't leave the house until I heard my father's car leave the driveway. 

The worst part is, I don't know what I want

When kids yearn to get out of their parent's house, whatever the reason may be, they normally have a goal they want to accomplish. I, however, don't even know if I want to go to college or not. 

I was hurt

I don't know why I thought Axel would run after me. That must be the hopeless romantic in me, the romance that I've never seen in person. I do appreciate it though, it just pushes me to detach myself from him. I've seen what high school relationships do to my parents. I need to get my mind right, Axel isn't a part of that. 

I need to learn to stop expecting so much out of people. It's not anyone's job to save me. It's not anyone's job to run after me. I yearn for someone to understand me- but no one ever will. I just need to get the fuck over it already. 

Just... just get over it

No more expectations = no more disappointments 

I finally rolled out of my bed and went to my bathroom, catching a glimpse of my cheek in the mirror. It was red, slightly puffy. If I'd gone to school it would be noticeable. People may have not asked about it but they would have noticed it. I turned on the shower. I feel dirty, littered with anger and it makes my chest heavy. 

I need a relief

I had the entire weekend to myself. I didn't have to do anything. I had no obligations, nothing. This, unfortunately, led me to think about my father. When I came home Friday night after my fight with Axel. He was gone. Him and his little rent-a-bitch. I was thankful though. I don't know what I would do if I saw him that night. I was beyond a rational state of mind and incredibly emotional. The reflecting I've been doing over the past two days doesn't help either. 

How can the man that is supposed to protect me from everything, hit me? I don't even want to say that I'm hurt because I am so much more than that. Friday was a milestone, a bad one. 

I wanted to do something that would upset my father. I can only think of one thing that he's ever truly cared about: Money. 

I turn off the shower, walking straight to my computer. My mind was on autopilot as I sat in my desk chair in only a towel. Scrolling through thousands of clothes options: Evening gowns, prom dresses, ripped jeans, designer heels. You name it, I bought it. Purposely choosing to send a receipt by email. I wanted him to know. While shopping I came across body jewelry. The anger in my chest flickered. An even better idea popped up as I pull out my phone. 

Athena's name is the one I clicked, I pulled up messages:

Know anywhere to get a good piercing? 

<3

"What made you want a piercing?" Blaze laughs from the driver's seat; Athena next to her. I sat in the back. When I texted Athena that I wanted a piercing, Blaze was already with her. Turns out that they were skipping school as well. 

They didn't ask why I didn't go to school, which I appreciated. 

"Just in the mood for something spontaneous," I answer nonchalantly.

The only piercing I have is the first holes on my ears and that was done when I was a baby. Not only did I want a piercing, but I wanted one that my father could see and one that my father couldn't see. 

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