~ Chapter 56 ~

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"This is so... extravagant,"

I chuckle softly at Mia's word choice.

Extravagant indeed

The apartment my father found is so outside of my price range it actively makes my brain hurt every time I think about it. It was wonderful; with dark walnut floors and cool white walls. The apartment is fully furnished with a single box that happened to be my belongings.

He agreed to let Mia move in, saying that she could keep an eye on me. He, however, did not agree to me paying the rent. Not that I could afford it anyway. Everything is in his name, from the apartment to the car he has me driving.

I don't deserve it

I feel guilty; even when given the freedom that I'd asked for I still feel trapped. I should be grateful for what has been given to me and in a way I am. Nonetheless, there's still this nagging voice in the back of my head that berates me for allowing myself to run back to my father. The voice screams at me for even stepping foot in this apartment.

There's another thought that creeps up as well, he only hit you twice. Although I swallow that thought as soon as it comes.

Other people have it worse-

I bare down on my teeth as I erase the idea. I don't mean to invalidate my feelings, but I can't help but wonder if I'm being dramatic.

"-the press conference starts in a few hours, by the time you get back I'm sure I'll have dinner ready."

I blink towards Mia. Has she been talking this entire time?

"Vic," Mia calls out, "Are you listening to me?"

"No," I glanced at her wearily, "I'm sorry,"

She tilted her head at me, "Thinking about Axel?"

Now I am

I couldn't bring myself to say anything so I just shoot her a reassuring look, shaking my head softly. I tried to compose myself as best as I could. The feeling of heat behind my eyes grows by the second. My saliva feeling thick in my mouth.

"I'm going to get ready, okay? Relax for me." I smile, getting off of the kitchen stool to give her a hug.

"I'll be watching you on the TV!"

I throw her a laugh over my shoulder as walk back to my new room. I just have to make it into the room. Just hold the smile until you close the door. That's all it takes. The room door seems to get further away with each tear I blink back. I just have to make it to the room. Please, make it to the room.

I closed the room door softly, flying to the ensuite bathroom. Once the water turn on, that's when I finally let it all out. I still kept my volume at a moderate level, but the sobs were unstoppable.

I managed to get myself to undress and sit on the shower floor. The warm water caressed my body as the hot tears poured out. I could hear my cries through the rushing water. The motion of my chin trembling made a trail for water to flow.

I sobbed for him; for if it was my choice I'd still be in his arms. If I didn't have the incentive to put myself first, I might even still be in his arms.

I hate Axel Stone for letting me love him like this.

His name puts fire in my chest and a pit in my stomach. I hate him for showing me there's another way. Now that I've fallen from the clouds his love put me in, reality seems like hell. Loving him has more consequences than ignoring him ever could.

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