Love of My Life

Stigma

We were allowed two weeks of break before we resume our world tour. I went home to Daegu to visit my family. I was able to talk to my father about Rose for the first time.

"Taehyung, when will you officially introduce your girlfriend to us? I thought she was coming with you today. Aish, I've been looking forward to calling her parents so we could finalize your engagement. "

I almost choke on the kimchi.

"Appa, about that . . ." I didn't know how to tell him the truth and disappoint him.  He was very excited to meet Rose when I called him a few months ago to ask him if we could meet with her parents and get engaged.

"I read that they live in Australia, so we might have to fly there."

"Appa, you shouldn't really believe everything you read. Don't worry, I broke up with her so you don't have to stress about that."  I told him quickly wanting to end this conversation about Rose.

"Aish, what nonsense is this with breaking up.  You're both young and at the prime of your career.  It's natural to have disagreements.  Call her and apologize.  That always work."

I had no choice but to tell him about the sasaeng incident and all the hurtful things I've said and done to Rose so that she could forget about me.

"You didn't tell her about it? How are you supposed to build your life together without trust?"

"Appa, I don't think you understand."

"I understand perfectly.  If you love someone and you are sure she is the one, that you were willing to jeopardize your career and get engage with her, have the decency to tell her and involve her.  Do not leave her under the dark thinking you're protecting her.  It's also her life and she should also have the choice.  You took that choice away from her. You're right for breaking up with her because you don't deserve her."  I heard the disenchantment on his voice. He stood up and left the dining room without looking back.

My father scolding me was the last straw. All my pent up emotions that I've been holding during the tour kept coming and all I could do is cry.  I felt lost and helpless, unable to fight for the woman I love.

The next day, I visited my grandparents' grave, hoping to get some clarity in my head.  The weather seems to be agreeing with my mood.  It was wet, cold, and gloomy. I left from there with my chest a little lighter, but the answer to my trepidations is nowhere in sight.

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I arrived at Seoul.  Dusk is engulfing the city rapidly.  The sky, a portrait of light and darkness, of endings and new beginnings.

I usually feel rejuvenated and relaxed after I visit my family in Daegu, but not so much this time.  My father didn't say much my whole visit.  He was clearly disappointed in my decision.

My mom kept me company the whole time. I went with her everywhere to do errands and visit some families.  I know she tried her best to keep my mind off of things.

Suddenly, I got a text from Jungkook.

R u on ur way home?

Ye, I'm on my way up.

👌

He must be bored and wants to order in food. I opened the door to our apartment.  I put my slippers on. It was unusually quiet.

"I'm home!"

As I walked the foyer into our living room, it didn't take me that long to recognize  Rose's silhouette  sitting on the couch. To my right, I saw Hyung Hoseok, Jungkook, and Jimin all standing by the kitchen, sipping coffee.

"What are you doing here?" I was referring to Rose without stopping.  I kept walking towards the hallway of our rooms. Rose didn't move and didn't look at me either.  She continued to look towards the window.

"I said what I needed to say to you the last time. Please don't waste your time and leave . . ."

Then out of nowhere I saw a fist hitting my jaw, hard! I almost lost my balance but I was able to hold onto the kitchen counter.

"What the ---? Hyung Hoseok?" I couldn't believe what just happened. 

Hyung Hoseok punched me on the jaw!

"What has possessed you Kim Taehyung? How can you treat Rose like that? You know what she's risking just to come and see you! Have some manners! She's not a rag that you could discard just because you feel like it! Grow up, man!" I haven't seen Hyung Hoseok this fuming mad, screaming at me.

"Rose, please come. I'll drive you home.  I swear we didn't teach him to be an asshole.  Don't waste your breath on him." Hyung Hoseok walked towards where Rose is sitting.

I saw Hyung Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi coming out their rooms trying to figure out the whole commotion.

Great! All we need are more witnesses to my messy lovelife!

"Don't worry, Hoseok-ssi, I'm not leaving until I speak to V." She still hasn't look at me.  She has her back straight and still looking straight out the window, cold and defiant! 

She hasn't called me V in a long time.  It sounded impersonal. I deserved that.

"What's going on?" Hyung Namjoon asked while walking towards the living room.

Then, I saw Hyung Jin calling someone on the phone. Hyung Jin started walking towards the living room, too. 

He looked at me with the deadliest stare and sat next to Rose. "I called Jisoo, she's on her way to get you.  She told me everything.  Please talk to her.  They are worried about you.  Leave this eolgan-i to us."

"You called Jisoo, how do you know her number?" 

Both Hyung Jin and Rose ignored me.  I looked at Jungkook and Jimin and they were both shaking their heads down.

"Gamsahabnida. But I won't leave until I speak to V." Rose said respectfully to Hyung Jin.

"If you must." Hyung Jin looked at everyone except me and motion them to go towards our rooms.

I was standing by the kitchen counter and Rose was still quietly sitting in the living room.  Everyone left the living area and we're all alone.