I Hate You But I Love You

6.

"Lagos" Ross said. Wanda winced as the pictures on the screen showed a dead girl and looked down. "Ok, that's enough" Steve said as he noticed Wanda's discomfort. Ross stopped the pictures but Wanda had already left the room. "Wanda, wait!" Natasha called out but the brunette didn't stop or come back. Nat wanted to go after her but Steve held her back. "Let her be. I think she wants to be alone for a bit." He said. She nodded but her thoughts wandered back to Wanda again and again while she tried to concentrate on the conversation.

She worried about the younger woman. Wanda had just gotten over the incident after she hadn't left her room or talked to anyone for about a week. And now Ross, this idiot, had brought everything up again. She couldn't quite understand why she was so mad about it. Because she was Wanda's best friend. Yeah, that's the reason.

She was torn from her thoughts as everyone left the room. She looked after them confused. She hadn't payed much attention to the conversation but it seemed to be over so she left and headed for the roof.

"I knew you'd be here." She said as she saw Wanda standing at the edge, looking down. She didn't answer. "Hey are you ok?" Nat asked as she leaned against the railing. Wanda looked at her sadly. "Yeah,  just needed a moment to think." She said. Nat nodded understanding and they stood in comfortable silence.

"Do you think they want to do that because of me? Because everyone is afraid of me?" Wanda asked. "What, no?! Of course not Wanda. Why would you think that?" Nat said. "Oh I don't know, maybe because that incident in Lagos, that I caused by the way, was just two weeks ago and because in the news they said I'm a danger to the public." Wanda said sarcastically. "They only fear you because they don't understand your powers. But you saw that they not only showed pictures of Lagos but also of New York and Sokovia?" Nat said. "Yeah but Sokovia was also kinda my fault." Wanda said looking down. "What are you talking about? That was not your fault at all." Nat said. "Yes it was. I should have noticed that Ultron had bad things in mind. Maybe Pietro would be still alive if I did." Wanda said. "Wanda you need to stop blaming yourself for everything. How could you've known that he had bad intentions? And that in Lagos was an accident. That can happen to anyone ok? It happened to everyone of us before. And unlike me you can still make it up. My ledger is dripping red." Natasha said sadly. "Yeah but you're not this person anymore. You're a good person. You help people." Wanda answered. "How is it possible that you blame yourself for everything but try to protect everyone else?" Nat asked. "Hey listen to me. You're an amazing person and the world's gonna trust you again. Just give it a bit of time ok?" She added. "Yeah, thank you Nat." Wanda said and squeezed Nat's hand.

Natasha could feel warmth spread from her hand and a tingling sensation in her stomach. Confused she shook her head in order to clear her thoughts and pushed the feeling away.

"How about we go back in?" Nat proposed. "Yeah sure." Wanda nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You wanna sign that contract?! After I told you how I felt about this being about me?!" Wanda asked. "Wanda I already told you that this is not about you. And yeah I want to sign that contract because like I already said back in the living room, if we don't sign we're not allowed do to anything at all." Nat argued. "Yeah but during the time we wait for them to give us permission to do something, people could die." Wanda said. "Better hundred people die because we have to wait for permission than thousands or even millions because we can do nothing at all. Better we can save someone than no one." Nat said. "So these hundred people would just be collateral damage for you?! Don't forget that this wouldn't be just on you. It would be on us too and unlike you we're not used to this much red in our ledger!" Wanda spat. Nastasha gasped. Only then Wanda realized what she had said to her best friend. She went pale. "Nat, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it!" Wanda tried to apologize. Natasha took a step back. Wanda saw pure hatred in her eyes just like in her first days at the compound. "Yes you did. I know we hadn't the best start but after all this time I wouldn't have expected that from you. From my best friend!" Natasha said.

Wanda could hear the hurt in her voice and her angry expression turn to deep hurt for merely a second before it was again replaced by hate. But Wanda saw it anyway. She knew she had hurt the redhead deeply and watched her go. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks as she asked herself how she could have been so stupid to say something like that. She knew Nat wouldn't forgive her that easily. She had really hurt her feelings.

Just then Clint stepped into the room and saw her crying. "Hey what's wrong?" He asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Wanda told him what happened. "Wow, you really said that? I can understand that she is upset. You must have really hurt her feelings." He said truthfully. More tears began to flow down Wanda's cheeks. "But I think she just needs a little bit of time. She'll get over it believe me." Clint said. Wanda just nodded. Clint embraced her in a short hug before he left again for his room.

Weeks had passed and Natasha still wasn't talking to Wanda. The brunette began to get frustrated. She apologized to Nat for like the 100th time but she still didn't forgive her.

Wanda decided to try to talk to Nat again so she walked over to Nat's room and knocked. Nat opened the door and looked at her waiting for her to start talking. "I brought Pizza." Wanda said ankwardly while holding up two boxes of pizza. She groaned internally. That was not how she wanted to start this conversation. "What do you want Wanda?" Nat asked leaning against the doorframe watching Wanda placing the boxes on the ground. "I want to talk to you." She answered. "So talk." Nat said. "Listen, I am really, really sorry for what I said. I would take it back if I could but I can't. I didn't mean what I said. I was just upset because I want to save all the people not just as much as possible. I am truly sorry. I didn't think about what I said. I didn't think about how much I would hurt you with saying this. And you need to know that I don't care about what happened in your past and I know it was a shitty move to use it against you in an argument. I miss you as my best friend and I hope you can forgive me." Wanda said looking at Nat hopefully.

"Consider yourself forgiven." Nat said. "Wait really?" Wanda asked excited. "Yeah I can't stay mad at you for any longer. I missed you too as my best friend and I know you didn't mean what you said." Nat replied. Wanda just hugged her tightly. Nat smiled. "So what about that Pizza you told me about? You hungry?" Nat asked. "Yes very. What about we make it a movie night?" Wanda proposed. "That is a very good idea. You go choose the first movie and I'll get some drinks ok?" Nat said. Wanda nodded.

And as she waited for Nat to come back after she chose "The Hunger Games" she just thought how happy she was that Nat had forgiven her and that she had her best friend back.