Always You |harry styles| - completed

FOURTEEN

Yael Naim: New Soul

The sound of gentle strumming on the guitar stopped just as I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Harry sitting at the edge of the bed, with the notebook he always carried around, writing something down. I didn't want to intrude, so I sat at the little armchair while I applied all of my night cremes and lip balms, glancing over at him every once and again, just to make sure he was real. Harry went to get a shower and I got comfortable in his bed – the one I'd decided we were going to share. I couldn't really process what was happening inside me, how all of a sudden I got these surges of strong feelings of gratitude, happiness and peace when I was with him. Ever since being a teenager I always appreciated my friendships; I knew they meant a lot and tried to cherish them. I didn't have very many friends, and the ones that were in my life were extremely important to me. Harry was a new person; someone I'd only spent a couple of months getting to know and most of that time we were on opposite coasts. There was no question that he meant a lot to me and that he became on of the most important humans in my life very quickly. I often thought about his mother's saying how it's never too soon to care deeply for someone, and I always came back to my question of whether it was the promise of love and friendship I was thinking about or if there was actual love and friendship present. Timelines were never my strong suit and I usually spent ages thinking and overthinking the simplest of interactions. When was it to soon to tell someone how much they meant to you? Was it ever too soon, or should we always make sure they knew the impact they had on our lives?

"What are you so lost in thought about, teacup?", I didn't even notice him come out of the bathroom, with his hair releasing tiny droplets of water all over the carpeted floor. He got in bed next to me and my body instantly moved closer to his, yearning to feel the warmth it radiated.

"I was just thinking about what your mother always tells you that it's never too soon if the emotion is there. You know how much I overthink everything and that I get lost in the tangled mess of thoughts that inhabit my brain space, but I think I agree with Anne... sometimes people enter your life and you instantly know it got ten times richer with them in it, and other times people can be in your life for years before you realize that they should've never been there in the first place.", he sat with his legs crossed, facing me while I released my most private thoughts into the space around us.

"You're not alone in this. I'm not usually one to open up to people so quickly, but I'm a pretty good judge of character so when I get a feeling someone's right for me I just let go of the fear and enjoy the moments I get to spend in their company.", Harry took my leg into his lap and rubbed small circles over my ankle while we talked. The gesture calmed me and convinced me that everything I was feeling was valid.

"I didn't really get to tell you how thankful I am for today. The fact you understood the depth of my feelings and made sure to help one of my dreams come to life means more than I could ever possibly fit into a couple sentences, I just hope you know that.", I moved over to hug him and wished we could stay in that moment forever. His arms pressed firmly into my back and his face buried in the crook of my neck – as if it belonged there. We untangled our limbs slowly and got under the covers, turning off the lights and getting ready to fall asleep in close proximity. One of the most intimate experiences you can share with someone is simply sleeping next to them. You're at your most unprotected and vulnerable when you're asleep, your reflexes are slowed down and you're not entirely aware of your surroundings. It means a lot that you would feel so safe and comfortable next to another person that you'd allow yourself to be so bare next to them.

Sunday morning rolled around pretty quickly and we both woke up happy and rested, which is something we hadn't felt after waking up in a while. Harry got dressed and ready before me, while I lounged around the bed for a bit more with a coffee. He adapted to my quiet morning routine fairly quickly, understanding that mornings with a cup of coffee and with few words spoken are my secret to get the day started right. He moved around the room, folding our clothes into our separate bags and I watched the morning news, just enjoying waking up in a city like New York. The plan was to go to a brunch spot in Tribeca and for a short walk around Washington Square park before hitting the road again.

We moved around the city easily, and I almost forgot about the possibility of someone spotting us. I think it was Harry's calmness that transferred to me. We had brunch in the most charming Italian place, called 'Tutto Il Giorno', that was just off of 6th Avenue. The restaurant was quite spacious and had an industrial meets traditional interior design. But there was a large window at the very back of the room, which looked out to some greenery. Harry saw my eyes go big at the thought of sitting near that window, so he asked the maître d to seat us there.

"The mozzarella here is amazing, I haven't been for a couple of years and I totally forgot how good the food was.", Harry told me his friend Caroline showed him this restaurant back in his One Direction days and he always went back whenever he was in New York. The food really was amazing, and their coffee was proper Italian coffee, not the tinted water most American restaurants served.

"Washington Square park is just a 20 minute walk from here, I hope you're up for a bit of exercise this time.", he teased me, referring to my whining about going on a hike back in Los Angeles.

"I'm not against it, especially not if it's New York, come on.", I managed to trick him into letting me pay for our food and we were on our way to the park. It was a lovely day, not too warm but not cold either, perfect for a walk.

"Thank you.", Harry said all of a sudden, while we sat on a bench in a secluded part of the park.

"What for?", I was a bit confused about what he could be thankful for, since this weekend trip was planned purely for my enjoyment.

"For allowing me to take you here, for letting me in and for opening yourself up to feeling good without wracking your brain with 'what ifs' in the process. I know it takes you a lot to allow someone to become close to you and I'm thankful you didn't hesitate when it came to me.", he held my hand in his and smiled.

"I don't understand how it's humanly possible for you to be so incredible! You did this whole thing for me and are now thanking me for participating. I'll never regret going to that Christmas Ball in December, because it introduced me to you, y'know...", I told him truthfully. He was one of a kind and I was more determined than ever not to blow a thing this good up.

We went back to the hotel and got our luggage; it was time to head back home. Well, home for me. He had to hop on a plane and go back to L.A. that evening. The drive back was almost lulling. Harry chose calming music, mainly the more toned down eras of the Beatles, and we chatted occasionally about our favorite part of the concert or how good the strawberry ice cream was at that shop in Little Italy. It was comfortable and warm, so the thoughts of having to separate soon tugged at my heart.

Harry pulled up to my building, and we were saying goodbye with heavy hearts.

"I wish I could say 'see you tomorrow' and it be true.", I was taking this goodbye thing very hard, harder than any goodbye before... and I experienced plenty of them. He took my bag off his shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

"I know, teacup. We'll figure out a schedule, as weird as it sounds. I'll have dates finalized for my tour soon enough, and we'll just compare and work out a plan that fits with your tour with Chris, how does that sound?", it was a nice thought, but it was not enough for me. I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close. As if the proximity of the hug would and could somehow translate onto our proximity on the map of the world.

Harry broke our embrace and kissed me on the head, trying to make the goodbye seem less like a goodbye and more like a 'see you later, alligator'. Before I realized what I was doing, I pulled his hand and turned him towards me again, and our faces were mere inches away. I moved my hand to the side of his face and kissed his lips gently, barely touching them with mine, but it was still an unmistakable kiss. His lips puckered when mine touched them, but it was very clear he was confused by this gesture of mine. It wasn't something he expected, and to be frank – I didn't expect I'd do that either.

"Don't turn it into something it's not, Harry. Remember the first rule of the fight club: we don't talk about it. Make sure you text me when you get home.", I fixed the collar on his flannel shirt and left him standing there with a puzzled expression. 'Why the hell did I do that?' was the first thought that entered my mind when I closed the door to my apartment. I knew what needed to be done... Josh. 

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A/N: A double update!!!

Aghhhhh... They finally kissed! What did you think? Side note, I found this song randomly and really like it now! Give it a listen. 

TPWK, always.

T