LEMONADE | Ricky Bowen

17

LENNON RAE PHILLIPS

I never left my room not even when I had the whole house to myself, sometimes I'd go down to the kitchen to check if any fairies had brought me some food but nevertheless I'd always return back to my blank room, stomach empty.

It must've been late when the door bell rang, I half expected it to be Tracey, home early from her vacation and had probably lost her keys on the way.

However when I reached the door and swung it open I was extremely surprised to see Ricky Bowen stood on my front step.

"You said if I needed you then I knew where to come" he said with a crack in his voice that made it seem like he'd been crying "fact is, I had completely forgotten which house it was and so you have some possible pissed of neighbours"

He looked cold so I opened the door wider so he could step in.

"I never liked them anyway" I laughed as he stepped inside with a small soft smile, he looked shattered "I'm sorry I don't have much to offer you" I whispered closing the door.

I watched him self consciously as he assessed my kitchen, the fridge was making an unhealthy whirring sound but after a kick or two it gave up.

I'd began to chew on my finger nails due to anxiety and so when he turned round he noticed and reached out to stop me.

"Do you need a place to stay?" I asked in a whisper.

"Are Tracey and Sean away?" Ricky asked and for a second I almost forgot that as kids we used to know each other well.

It's the whole reason to why I started hating him.

"Of course" I laughed "when aren't they not?"

Rickys eyes landed on my empty fruit bowl and his eyes saddened, I knew that he'd noticed I'd been left with nothing it used to happen all the time.

"You can stay in my bed" I finally said and he smiled and nodded me on as if to show him the way as if he hadn't been there before.

I lead him up the stairs and towards my blank room, the walls were still white and nothing was on show. If I left the next day there would have been nothing in that room that indicated who I was.

"Do you wanna talk?" I asked him and he flopped himself backwards on my bed, making his arms spread widely like a starfish.

"Big Red was listening to animal noises and had a damn gas mask on and I went to Nini's but it was so awkward" he admitted "I don't wanna go back home, Lenny"

That nickname threw me off guard and my breath hitched, I looked at him from the door frame and yet he didn't even notice that he'd let it slip.

"Well" I breathed "there's no animal noises or breathing devices or weird tension... that I know of ahahaha" and he leant his head up so that he could see me clearer.

"Where are you gonna sleep?" He questioned, he'd already tore free of his jacket and looked just about comfortable to drift to sleep.

I shrugged and looked at the floor and then back up at him. It was stupid because there were two sofas downstairs and a whole double bed in Tracey's room... I just couldn't settle anywhere else.

"Well that's not happening" he grumbled, before tapping the bed with his hand "Cmon, like the good old times"

Sluggishly I made my way to the edge of the bed and sat down on the corner but it wasn't long before he pulled me backwards and began to tickle me.

Between breaths I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn't so I squirmed around until I broke free and was able to pin him down on the bed with victory.

"It's not fair you always won" he pouted and I giggled slapping his chest and falling to the side. "Hey I'm sorry about raising my voice a few days back" he said quite seriously.

"It's okay" I said still panting slightly, I turned to face him and he did the same, our hands slightly brushing the others.

"No it's not okay, I know that you don't like raised voice or confrontation and I still did it anyway and I'm sorry" he paused to smile before saying, "genuinely"

"Well, softie" I joked with a blush spreading across my cheeks because of how nice he was being "just because I'm giving you a bed does not mean you need to start being nice to me"

Ricky scowled and checked my face for a joke but none ever came.

"Why did you start hating me?" He then questioned and my eyes glazed over with a small sheet of tears. I tried not to let it show but I knew he could see it.

"Hey it's okay" he soothed bringing his hand down on my hair and smoothly pulling me into his chest so I could nuzzle into his well scented shirt.

Being held by him was such a foreign feeling but yet it felt completely right, like he was supposed to do it.

"You don't have to tell me, okay?" He whispered into the top of my hair "but can you answer me a question?"

I pulled away slightly, my cheeks stained a little with pointless tears and nodded.

"Can I come back from it? Could you ever stop hating me?"

I wanted to shout that yes of course everything was forgotten, that it was stupid and pointless and I was childish.

Truthfully I wanted to lean in and kiss him to prove it.

But instead I gulped down and nodded timidly,

"Yeah" I whispered into his chest "of course" and then just quiet enough for me to hear I mumbled "you already have come back from it"