LEMONADE | Ricky Bowen

41

LENNON RAE PHILLIPS

I hated seeing Ricky look so distraught and it hurt me so physically that when I was staring at the stage and the lonesome piano on it, my hands started to shake.

I'd told Ricky I was going to do it for him, obviously I was doing for everyone else too who counted on me, mainly Ashlyn because she was the main reason I was doing my very own first solo.

I creeped onto the stage shyly, luckily it was Kelsi's character so they couldn't overly tell that I was struggling.

From the crowd Ricky's dad stood up and whistled, his mom who had returned laughed and forced him back down onto his seat.

I broke a smile and turned to look back at Ricky who I could tell had put a fake smile on and was now giving me the thumbs up.

The lights dimmed, and my fingers caressed the keys of the piano this was my one shot to show off myself and I wasn't going to blow it.

"It's just me and my piano
My thoughts inside my head
Can't stop the keys from playing
Im behind yet so far ahead"

I turned to look at Ricky again and was shocked to see his fake smile had started to be overcome with a real one.

"The tune it just keeps on coming
Yet I'm scared to let it show
No ones here to hear the melody
But yet I just can't let it go"

I closed my eyes, just to forget that everyone was there. If I tried hard enough I could pretend I was just in Ashlyns house again.

Just practicing.

"I just can't let it go
I just can't let it go
I just can't let it go
I just can't let it go"

If I could make it to the chorus I was fine I had been chanting but now I was there and my heart was pounding and I didn't even feel like it was my fingers that were playing or my voice that was singing.

"Help me find, help me find, help me find a place to grow
Help me find, help me find, a place where it's not just me and my-
Help me find, help me find, help me find a place to go
Help me find, help me find, someone so it's not just me and my piano"

When I opened my eyes again I felt blinded by the lights I flashed a quick side glance to behind the set and I could see everyone with their fingers crossed. Some of them were gaping, others cheering silently.

"I just want someone with me
To listen to my tune
And yet somehow I'm still here,
Alone inside my room.
When all is quiet
The music note pages turn
And all my built up anguish
it makes my body burn"

I was nearing the end and part of me was genuinely thinking that I wasn't going to mess up, maybe I'd finally done something with my life for once. Maybe I'd really done something.

"But yet I just can't let it go
I just can't let it go
I just can't let it go
I just can't let it go"

The audience was silent, if I wasn't singing you'd be able to have heard a pin drop and that was scary, and daunting and I probably could've thrown up.

One last chorus, one last time.

"Help me find, help me find, help me find a place to grow
Help me find, help me find, a place where it's not just me and my-
Help me find, help me find, help me find a place to go
Help me find, help me find, someone so it's not just me and my piano"

And then my last key played and the audience stood up with cheers, an overwhelming clap coming from each and every one of them.

A clap for me.

For me.