LEMONADE | Ricky Bowen

34

LENNON RAE PHILLIPS
FLASHBACK

Ricky's mom had picked me up in her car, I'd been home alone for maybe two weeks and she said that I should go over and spend time with them.

They usually did that, picked me up and fed me and made sure I was happy enough for me to go home and fizzle back away.

It was like a vicious cycle that at first I fell in love with, mainly because of Ricky. He was probably at one point my only source of happiness. But then I started to realise how low life back at home was and he started to taste bittersweet.

When we arrived at the Bowen household I followed behind Ricky's mom until she turned to look at me and noticed a scratch across my cheek.

"I did it climbing to the top shelf trying to find food" I mumbled scratching the back of my neck, Rickys mom shook her head and helped me up onto the counter.

"Ricky, honey, will you fetch me the first aid box" she shouted into the house and soon after his footsteps came pattering and there in a fluffy teddy bear jumper he stood looking up at me.

He passed his mom the first aid box and she started to tend to my wound, I hadn't even noticed that he'd reached up on his tip toes to hold my hand so that when it stung I could squeeze onto his fingers.

When she was all done she let me down onto the floor and only then was I able to run onto the back garden with Ricky.

We'd built a den right at the bottom of his garden and that's where we headed, skipping through the grass and diving into it.

"Where did the scratch come from?" Ricky asked nosily and I shrugged and looked away from him "mommy says no ones been home in a while, is it fun to have no rules!" He asked excitedly.

I shook my head and stayed quiet, he talked a lot which was my favourite thing about him because even if I was in my worst mood and I could barely string a sentence together, there was never any awkward silences.

"It's scary" I finally whispered, tears were brimming in my eyes and I tried to look away from Ricky even though I knew that he had seen the tears.

Ricky searched around the den and found a pen, it was black and thick and he picked it up and took the lid off with his teeth.

"Lenny" he said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the wall, I looked at him with a scowl but he held up his finger to tell me to wait.

Then on the wall of the den he drew a rectangle and just in the middle of it he drew a circle scribble and when he pulled away he pointed at it and said.

"It's a door"

I tried not to laugh because it was kinda a shitty drawing but nevertheless I quietened down to listen to what he had to say.

"Behind this door is your happiest place" he instructed.

I didn't want to tell him that my happiest place was at his house so I stayed silent and just nodded.

"Okay?"

"I want you to draw it on your wall at home, but it has rules, okay?" Ricky warned and I nodded and waited for him to carry on "you can only open this door once in your whole entire life but behind it is your safe place"

"Only once, got it!" I smiled, somehow he'd managed to stop my tears which was a talent he always had.

I didn't cry at all the rest of the day in fact we laughed and giggled and when I finally returned home I drew the door on my wall.

I never once opened it because no matter how scared I was home alone I always thought there was a possibility that tomorrow I could be even more scared and would need it then instead.

And I could only open it once.