Not the Villain - The Evil Queen's Retelling of Snow White

25 Years and Two Months Ago

Hi everyone thanks for staying with me! f you liked the story so far, remember to comment, vote, share with your friends and make me smile~

25 years and two months ago:

Maybe it's time to move on.

Maybe tomorrow I would meet Evelyn, try to make friends with her, even.

Maybe there's someone out there just like Casimir.

Who am I kidding? No one could ever be like Casimir. No one could twirl me in their arms like he does. No one knows all my secrets like he does. No one could make me shiver with longing with a single gaze, no one could steal away my breath with a single glance like he does. No one could break my heart like he does. No, I won't allow it, not again.

But maybe even if I had married Casimir, he would be miserable. Would I have been happy if I lived knowing that? That I am the reason for his anguish? If every day he spent with me was a pit he was in, one that he dug himself deeper and deeper into? One that he could only get out of if I leave him? I hated my thoughts, my own instincts whispering to me that I am not good enough for him. Every second he spends with me is full of pain. He hates me. He can't be happy with me in his story.

Maybe Casimir deserves to be happy.

Maybe I should feel happy for him.

Maybe I would.

25 years, one month, and thirty days ago:

I was out in the garden, and Evelyn was beside me.

She'd heard that I was Casimir's ex-fiance.

She said she was sorry.

She said she liked my gown. It was the red gown I wore the day I first met her.

Then suddenly, magically, we started talking.

We talked about the colour red (which was her favourite colour, too), and we talked about our families, we talked about Casimir, we talked about stars and moons and flowers, we talked about everything and anything and nothing. And, for the first time in weeks, my lips curled up into a smile.

I think I'm going to be okay.

25 years, one month, and twenty-four days ago:

The king didn't want Casimir to marry Evelyn, with her being a foreign peasant and all, until the dinner when he met her. I guess she just had that likeable, almost enchanting quality to her. He did not seem particularly delighted afterwards, though. His eyes just had that blank look to them. Nevertheless, Casimir and Evelyn had his blessing.

If I was honest, some part of me wished they didn't. Some part of me wished the king would talk some sense into Casimir, and he would wake up from the spell and finally see that it was me, me, me all along. But he didn't.

My heart still hurt. I still loved Casimir. But I was determined to put on a brave smile, I was determined to be happy, for them both.

One step at a time. It's going to be okay, I tell myself.

25 years, one month, and eight days ago:

It was Casimir and Evelyn's wedding day. The whole kingdom celebrated. It was a relatively private wedding, though, with only a handful of people invited as guests. We were in the church, windows of stained glass casting luminous colours into the vast hall. Casimir had the widest smile, you'd think he had been given the world, but his eyes were still blank. I seemed to be the only one who noticed that, though so I dismissed it. It had to be my imagination. Evelyn looked more stunning than ever in her gown, shimmering with jewels and precious gems.

For a moment I imagined myself in that dress, standing besides Casimir. I let myself indulge in that picturesque scene, with my hands clasped in Casimir's and the wind teasing the flyaways that escaped my simple braid adorned with freshly picked roses.

I blinked and wiped that image away because there was no point thinking about it. I turned my attention to the couple standing before me. It would've been a perfect wedding, a perfect day for everyone.

Except for me.

I tried not to be jealous like I said I wouldn't. I tried not to die little by little on the inside. I tried to be happy for them.

I couldn't.

I couldn't think about anything else. My head was a mess of questions and speculations of what might have been. What if it was me instead of her standing beside Casimir? What if he never met Evelyn? What if Evelyn was dead? Would he love me instead?

So I plastered that fake smile I used so often onto my face, and I pretended everything was alright when nothing was.