A Year and a Day Ago

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A year and a day ago:

It was night again, and once again I couldn't sleep. I was afraid to fall asleep, knowing that I would same dream again. No, not dream. Nightmare.

I raised my arm, my fury burning at my chest, and the sword in my hand strikes into Casimir's heart...

Stop, stop, stop! Stop caring, stop hurting, remember?

I felt like crying. I just want to forget. That's all I'm asking for. I got up and walked to the mirror, craving guidance in my moment of weakness.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" I whispered.

I waited for my mother's slim frame to appear, like she always does, but I stepped back in shock when I heard a reply.


"You, and your family, are fair, it is true,

But Snow-White is now a thousand times fairer than you."


What? 

My thoughts chased each other in and out of my head, none of them making sense, and my body turned cold while my ears turned burning hot. Why is my mother not appearing in the mirror? It took a long while for the muddy thoughts that clouded my mind to fade, and underneath was the staggering truth I already knew.

Snow White is more beautiful than I. More beautiful than my mother, my sister. 

I clenched my fists, willing myself not to crumble. The voice in my head keeps telling me, you'll never see your family again. 

Never.

Never, never, never--

I wanted to say that I could remember as if I was staring at them in the mirror, but I could feel the memory slipping away from me, the details blurring, the voices fading.

I was falling apart, the only thing keeping me sane for who knows how long was gone, taken away from me by my own daughter.

But she is not your daughter... The voice whispered in my ear.

Shut up, I told it. I went to bed then, not knowing what else to do with myself, because there was nothing left of me. 


The words echoed in my mind all night:


You, and your family, are fair, it is true,

But Snow-White is now a thousand times fairer than you...



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