Langst OneShots

Of Course I Care

"Haha, not if I do it first!"
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TW: Character death, Suicide, self harm

Lance sat in his room in boredom. He stared at the ceiling blankly before yawning to get up and stretch. I might as well get something to eat.. he thought to himself.

Recently Lance hadn't been feeling so well, not like he ever had. He just felt more depressed somehow.

Lance chewed on the inside of his cheek, his right thumb digging into his inner left wrists as he trudged towards the living area. His sharp nail dug into the deep holes he put there himself, successfully ripping open the skin that was almost healed.

Almost immediately blood flowed out, though Lance felt no pain as he was used to it already. His eyes flickered downwards to see the damage done, and it wasn't much. His thumb moved to the side to the other wound that was in the process of healing, before inhaling sharp and plunging his thumb nail deep into it and dragging it downwards.

That time it hurt. It always hurts when he looks.

Lance picked out the blood that stuck under his nail before tugging his sleeves down, ignoring the way his wrist stung just the tiniest bit.

Hunk looked up from the space gadget he was fiddling with and lit up seeing his best friend.

"Hey, Lance!" Hunk greeted and patted the spot next to him, inviting Lance over.

Lance trudged over with a tired smile, clutching his left wrist in a non-suspicious way and plopped right next to Hunk.

"I'm not feeling so well right now," Lance said shortly after he sat down, "sorry if I'm acting weird or somethin'"

Hunk nodded nonchalantly before going back to messing around with the space gadget.

At some point Keith has entered the room and, he and Lance getting into a chill conversation about anything and everything. They both headed their way to Lance's room for a more private area as their conversation turned more darker and personal.

"I swear I've lost faith in humanity a few times," Keith joked to Lance, "Sometimes I look at humans and I just want to kill myself."

Lance immediately furrowed his brows at Keith's statement, "Uh, what?"

"I mean it's pitiful sometimes." Keith shrugged before glancing at Lance for a second, "Oh, well I can't die until after we save the galaxy together."

Lance went quiet from his place on the floor, causing Keith to raise a brow. "What's up?"

"Well, if I die you won't save the galaxy with me." Lance said with darkened eyes, "So you wouldn't die because I wasn't there with you."

Keith snorted and rolled his eyes, "Yeah I guess. Well I wouldn't die by my own hands at least."

Lance hummed to himself, his hand unconsciously rubbing his left wrist. "Interesting."

"Well, I guess." Keith shrugged, feeling awkward as the conversation suddenly became dry. "But I'll make sure you'd be here with me when we finally do it."

"Oh?"

Keith nodded, "Definitely." He said, looking at Lance who sat crisscross on the ground.

"Well you could save the galaxy with Shiro. He's so much better than me." Lance said nonchalantly.

Keith furrowed his brows before shrugging, "It doesn't matter. He's not you." Keith said in a matter of fact tone, "I'd rather it be you."

"Pidge and Hunk exist."

"Okay, and?" Keith rolled his eyes, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Lance shrugged, staring at his floor, "Somethin' I guess." He mumbled back.

"Well I dunno. They just won't be the same." Keith shrugged, crooked smile and all.

Lance chuckled, though it didn't settle well with Keith.

"Can't be picky now, Keef." He gave Keith the best goofy smile he could manage, and it honestly hurt saying these things to Keith.

Keith pretended to pout before saying back, "Okay fine, maybe I'll go with Shiro and promise him instead."

It stung, but Lance knew it was for the better.

"Have fun." Lance said bitterly, a lopsided grin plastering his face. "I'll miss you." He said, and he meant it.

"What?"

"I mean it."

Suicide was always an option for Lance McClain. His pain and sorrows never failed to be there for him, and it was starting to take a toll on him.

Lance stared at the prepared noose in front of him, eyes dead, lifeless. His thumb dig deep into his wrist. Deeper than his nails have ever dug.

It all started by some almost harmless scratching before he figured out that if he scraped the same spot of skin repeatedly in downwards or upwards strokes, the skin would turn red and soft. Then if he scratched more the skin will peel off slowly. Eventually it was all that could calm him down.

Blood spread everywhere and he shook his arm before deciding that yes. He did want to do this.

When Keith found Lance's lifeless body, he screamed.

He screamed at the top of his lungs, voice full of nothing but sorrow and pain. The pain in his heart poured into his voice. It was horrifying.

Seeing their red Paladin crumble and break down in front of them hurt. They've never seen him so vulnerable. So powerless. So defeated.

The team also cried. They cried with Keith.

It hurt. Losing their beloved blue Paladin. Their sunshine. Their precious bundle of joy and goofy jokes.

They really, truly felt nothing but love for the boy. They each loved Lance with the entirety of their heart.

It hurt so much that he was gone.

Keith cried hard. He cried til the point he couldn't cry anymore, and even then he still cried and wept.

It was almost as if he was feeling the heart shattering plethora of negativity Lance lived with every day.

"Please come back. Lance. Please. I wanted to save the universe with you, Lance. Please come back. I'll do anything." Keith sobbed into Lance's jacket.

It was heart breaking standing outside of Keith's door, listening to Keith cry out to Lance who no longer was with them.