Insanity // Tododeku mafia AU

Her...

I calmed myself down and took a deep breath before opening the door to my office. I have to apologize to him... it isn't like me to apologize, but it's just different with him. I actually care for him... but I hate that I do.

I hate these feelings I have for Todoroki because they just won't go away. He's making me feel things I've never felt before... it's like he's changing me. He's making me see a side of myself that I'm unfamiliar with.

I took one more deep breath before walking out into the hall, making my way down to his room which wasn't that far from mine.

Each step I took, I felt my heart beating faster and faster. Just the thought of him crying over something I did, broke my heart.

I found myself staring at his door, unable to turn the knob. What the hell was I doing in the first place... why.. what is wrong with me. I don't know what I was doing, but something about it... felt right.

I ran my fingers through my hair before slowly pushing the door open. I shifted my eyes up from my feet and I seen a red and white haired male sulking on his bed.

I've never seen him look so sad. He had his legs tucked up, head down and his arms wrapped around his legs. I moved closer to him and he instantly looked up, his eyes were filled with pain and they weren't as bright as they were before. He seemed to be shaking. He looked broken.

I could tell from his eyes this wasn't just about what I did to him.. it was more.

His eyes told a million stories about his past. Even though I don't know about his childhood, something inside was triggered by my words. From what I did know about him, was that he isn't a sensitive person. You could break him down to his core, but he still kept his composure. Something bad must've happened... I dug up something from his past. Just a few words, a simple sentence. It only takes one word to break someone. To remind someone of their trauma, to make it all rush back to their mind.

He backed away from me, not wanting me to get close. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were stained.

"Get away."

"Todoroki please, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it, I was just mad."

"That's no excuse for making me feel like this when all I did was try to comfort you."

"Just please...." I walked closer and sat on his bed.

~~~Todoroki's POV~~~

He sat down next to me. No.. no he's just like her. Pushing me away when it wasn't my fault... or at least I thought it wasn't.

He reached his hand out to me... his hand... no.

"NO. DON'T TOUCH ME."

Tears were pouring out of my eyes, my mind was clouded and all I could think of was her.

I tried to get off of the bed but he grabbed my wrist, wanting me to stay.

"No. No. No. STOP."

"Todo I'm sorry, please just listen. It wasn't your fault. It was mine."

I started to hyperventilate.
All I could see was her.
Her grey eyes.
Her white hair.
Grabbing onto me, not letting go.

"Todo? Todoroki! Look at me, it's okay. Todoroki!"

"m- m- MOM"

~~~Flashback~~~

"Momma I know it wasn't your fault. It was his."

She was sitting on the floor, her head in her hands. She wouldn't look up at me, she just kept sobbing.

"Momma." I placed my hand on her back.

She jumped back, glaring at me like I was a monster. Her eyes were shooting daggers into mine. What was this look on her face... I've never seen it before. Her eyes resembled my fathers hell flame... Her fists were balled up.

"What do you want!!"

"M- mama. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She raised her hand and in an instant, it was across my cheek. My head jerked to the side and I held my cheek with my petite hands. My face was burning in pain and stinging. My eyes were wide in shock. She slapped me across the face... but why... what did I do to mama..

"Shoto! I'm so sorry, I- I..." Tears streamed down her soft cheeks.

She reached her hand out to me...

~~~Flashback over~~~

My mind was spinning, but I felt more aware of things.

A warm hand was on my back, it was Midoriyas.

"Hey, breath okay. In, out... I'm right here."

I followed his instructions and my breathing became normal again. I still felt tears rolling out of my eyes. I looked up at Midoriya, he had the look of panic in his eyes. He looked worried.

I shoved my head into his lap and just sobbed, it hurt so bad. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he just traced circles on my back.

"Shhh, it's okay. Let it out."

I choked on my own words and tears trying to get a sentence out.

"I- it h- hurts.. so much-h."

"I know, but it's okay. You will be okay, Todo."

I cried into his lap so hard that I didn't realize my eyes getting heavier and heavier. Before I knew it, i was asleep on his lap.