Chapter 10

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When I get home, Ma is waiting for me at the door.

"Did you read your results yet? Can I see them? Is that them there?" she questions me in rapid succession before trying to take the envelope from my hands.

I really should have thought of that when I decided where to store the disk.

"Uh, yeah. This is them," I hold on tightly in an attempt to stop her from prying the envelope from my hands.

"Well, then. How did you do?" she stops trying to take the envelope for a moment, waiting for my answer.

"I passed," I say as I hang up my coat, being sure to keep a tight hold on my envelope and my evidence.

"And?" she is like a child on Christmas waiting for my news, "Which pool did they place you in? Please tell me it's at least third. That boy would be crushed if he had to choose between you and his position."

"Thanks, Ma!" I shoot her a look, "But I did fine."

I try to step around her to climb the stairs, but she stops me, "Did you tell Alexei?"

The concern in her eyes makes me think she believes I have not made the grade I need in order to marry Alexei. Her next words confirm it.

"Well, you can always upgrade your score next year," she reaches for my hand, "I did. And look where it got me!"

"I can't upgrade my score, Ma." I'm playing along now, trying not to smile. I have to look down to avoid her seeing my face.

"Yes, you can. They let you retake your exam. Though I don't know how you didn't excel this time, because I thought you did a-"

I can't hold it in any longer and my laughter comes in loud, obnoxious spurts as it bursts from my belly.

"What is wrong with you, Maria?" Ma's face is squished up in confusion, "Are you laughing?"

I am laughing too hard to say anything, so I just nod. She has had enough of my antics, I guess, because she takes the envelope from my hands and pulls the paper from it. As she does, the disk falls to the floor and clatters across the living room before coming to rest under the couch.

Please say she didn't see that.

"What was that?" she looks around, trying to locate the object that clattered to the ground.

"Nothing, just my pencil," I quickly come up with a lie, "I'll clean it up when I do the living room this evening."

I don't think she would have bought that lie at any other point in time, but she forgot all about the clattering when her eyes found my score.

"Maria!" she shouted as she hugged me, "How could you keep this from me? We will have a feast!"

"Why is that everyone's reaction?" I say before I realize I shouldn't.

"Everyone? Who else have you told?"

"Alexei," I look down at my feet and wait for her to chastise me, "I wanted him to know as soon as I did. And I wanted someone there in case I didn't like my results."

When I look up to see her, I notice her face is a mix of sadness and joy.

"Well, when are you two going to celebrate?" Ma asks, more even-tempered than before, "Can I make your dinner this evening?"

I laugh. Of course Ma would be worried about not being able to make me a celebratory dinner.

"We're going to his work event tomorrow evening," I take my results back from her and stuff them into the envelope, "so I will gladly celebrate with the family this evening."

If the curtains weren't open, I'm sure Ma would be jumping for joy at this news. But as it was, we had to contain ourselves. No matter how good the news, it is unbecoming for women of our age to giggle as much as we wanted to in this moment.

"I need to go tell your sisters," her smile threatens to break her face in half. "I'm sure they're going to be so proud of you."

Yeah, especially Jem. I can't wait to see her face.

"Wait for me!" I call as loudly as I can without being heard outside, "I want to see their faces."

Ma must really be excited. She doesn't even scold me for wanting to rub my success in Jem's less-successful face.

* * *

My siblings' reactions did not disappoint as Ma shared the news. Jem is calm and collected as she congratulates me. It's a little disappointing to not have her react, but I don't know why I'm surprised - she always has been the best of us at maintaining proper decorum.

The ultimate test of my composure comes when Dad hears the news at dinner.

"So, I hear we are celebrating," Dad says, sitting down at the dinner table. "If your mother is using her plum centerpiece, it must really be something."

I smile and keep my eyes firmly on my plate to avoid giving myself away. There is a test of wills around the table as we all struggle to keep it in, trying not to be the one who speaks first.

In the end, it is Elisa who cannot contain the secret, "Maria received her examination results this afternoon and has been placed in the superior pool." She looks as though she is riding a horse she is bouncing around so much as she speaks.

"Very good, Maria," his voice is level and emotionless, but his eyes smile proudly. "I'm sure Alexei is thrilled with this news."

I cough, trying to keep the food and drink from unceremoniously spilling out of my mouth onto the dinner table. I can feel the heat pooling in my cheeks as I try to regain my breath and avoid dying of embarrassment.

"Dad!" I almost shout once I am breathing normally again, "I can't believe you said that!"

"No one can hear us," he says with a shrug. "And it happens to be true. I'm sure it will happen any day now."

This might be the first time ever that I wish my family was as proper in private as we look from the outside. How is one person supposed to handle this much embarrassment?

 How is one person supposed to handle this much embarrassment?

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