jay halstead hurt a-z

infection part 2

I is for Infection
I

t was an unusually warm fall evening for Chicago as Jay and Will were walking to the car after an evening at a hockey game. It was Labor Day weekend, and the city was lit up by various parties and lights from nightclubs and bars. The parking lot by the stadium was packed, and they had had to park quite a few blocks away. They had already had their drinks during the game, so they didn't bother to stop at any of the bars, even though they knew the drinks would likely be half price for the holiday.
Jay had also seen the fliers in store windows earlier in the week advertising a drive-in movie, but hadn't looked long enough to see what it was. He later realized that he should have, because maybe then he could've prevented what was about to happen.
The brothers were just finishing a conversation about work. Of all things topics, they tried to avoid this one the most, partially because this was their only time away from it, but also because they all had a tendency to remember the worst things about their days. Blame it on the drinks or the pressure of the job, but it still always seemed to circle back to the ones they couldn't save.
This time was different though. Will had given Jay an update on a young girl he had saved a few days prior, and had later brought into Med. Jay had been in hot pursuit of a suspect, and they chase had taken them down a back alley, when the man suddenly changed directions, and shoved a girl out of the way. She fell head first down the flight of cement stairs she was standing at the top of, and was knocked our cold on impact. He made the split second decision to help the kid and let Antonio go after the suspect. When he reached her, he immediately called for a bus, only to realize the girl might not have that long, so he cradled her in his arms and sprinted as carefully but as quickly as he could towards the ambulance.
"You saved her life. Are you sure you were ok?" Will asked.
"Yea, why?" Jay asked.
"Ethan said you looked a little...skittish when you brought her in. Did you have another flashback?" Will asked. He watched as Jay processed the question and tried to come up with a believable lie.
"Breifly, yea. It wasn't that bad... not as bad as those ones usually are anyway." Jay said.
"Those ones? What do you mean? Why would they be different?" Will asked. Jay was about to answer when their walk took them past the park, where the movie had already started. There was massive speakers, and a large, bright screen playing Dun-kirk. Their timing was impeccable, and the siblings walked past the park just as a war scene was happening. Will had looked towards the movie, forgetting momentarily about his brother. When he looked back, he saw Jay hunched down behind a nearby car, hands clenched as though he was holding a rifle.
"Jay? You ok? What wrong?" Will asked, confused at first as to what was going on. He soon realized when he saw the sweat running down Jay's temples. He was out of breath and his eyes were darting around frantically.
"Jay! Hey! Look at me! It's Will. Your in Chicago, your safe, ok?" Will said, grabbing a hold of his brothers shoulders to steady him. About a minute later, Jay finally calmed down. He took a deep breath, and rubbed a shaky hand over His face. He closed his eyes, but quickly opened them again when his mind began to replay the bloody scene once again.
"You good?" Will asked, offering a hand, then helping Jay up. He nodded, and the pair continued the rest of their walk to the car in silence.
The silence mostly continued on the ride home, breaking when Will pulled up in front of Jay's appartment.
"Promise me you won't tell Erin about this." Jay said, eyes still staring out the window.
"What do you mean?" Will asked.
"She's already worried enough about me. The nightmares are always bad around this time of year, and I've had enough of those without her worrying about me when I'm awake." Jay said.
"Jay, maybe she has a reason to be worried. If you keep having these episodes, you land yourself in Med again! Maybe it's time you talked to someone about it." Will said.
"What, like a shrink? No thanks. I've handled them for how many years now? I'll be fine." Jay said, stubbornly.
"Really? What about that? What, you didn't think I'd notice the rope burn on ur wrist? And you can't tell me it's from work, because it's only on one wrist. Your obviously afraid of hurting someone." Will said, motioning towards the red line on Jay's left wrist where a rash had formed.
"Will, I'm fine. It's just a precaution." Jay said, then made a move to open the door. Will reached down and pressed the lock button, making it clear he wasn't finished with the conversation. Jay gave him an annoyed look, then settled back in.
"You know what I think? I think it's because Mouse went back. Your worried about him, and it's reasonable. He's your friend, and when he was working with you, you could watch his back. Now you can't. That's making the dreams worse." Will said. Jay didn't respond, but by the look on his face, he could tell he was right.
"Fine. Your right. The other night I went back to when I was held hostage. I threw a punch in my dream, and hit Erin so hard you could see the imprint of my knuckles on the side of her arm. After that, I decided it was necessary, at least until the end of the summer. They usually stop after that." Jay said.
"Look, I know you've been through this stuff all before, but I do know that it can't be easy. I can tell there getting worse, so I'll make you a deal. I won't tell Erin about what happened tonight if you promise to talk to Ethan. He at least knows more of what your going through than I do." Will said. Jay sighed, knowing he had to give in. He could hear the sincerity in is brothers voice, and knew how much he cared.
"Ok. Alright, fine. I'll do it." Jay said.
"Good. Now get in there before she gets suspicious!" Will said.
"Knowing her, she probably already is!" Jay said with a smile.