Unspoken || Sirius Black

9.

I walked towards the black lake, where the marauders where sitting under a unusually large tree.

James saw me and nodded, "Josie, you alright?"

I smiled as I sat next to them, indian style. "I'm great, Prongs. Oh, yeah I actually have something to tell you guys. You know how we're going to Hogsmeade next week? Guess who's coming along with us! Lily!" I said happily, "And Marlene and Mary." I muttered the last part.

"Lily's coming?!" James said, with a huge smile.

"What was that last part, Jo?" Sirius said, furrowing his brows.

"Nothing.." I smiled awkwardly.

Remus shoved me lightly and said, "Spit it out, Josie."

"Um, Marlene and Mary are coming along too?" I said, scratching the back of my neck.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "You better not be trying to set us up, Josie or I swear on Godric's beard that I'll-"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah you'll hex me into a million years. I got it."

Sirius looked taken-aback, "How did you know I was going to say that? When did I become so predictable?"

"You've always been predictable," Remus said, laughing.

Sirius groaned and tugged on his hair, "I've become boring! dull! predictable! foreseeable! Everything I've never wanted to be!"

I laughed, "You still have great hair, though."

He unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair, "Never mind my amazing hair! I've turned into - I've turned into you!" He said, directing the last part to Remus.

"Yeah the werewolf is the boring one here," James said sarcastically.

"So you guys what do you say? Can they tag along?" I asked, giving them my sweetest smile. I crossed my fingers behind my back, just for luck.

"Hey, I said yes from the start!" James scowled.

"Yeah, but you're not the drama queen here are you?" I said, rolling my eyes.

Sirius sighed and gave in, "Fine. But if you're expecting anything to happen between me and Marvis-"

"Marlene." Remus cut in.

"Right, if you're expecting anything to happen between me and Marlene then forget it, alright?"

I gave him the two finger salute, "Yes sir!"

"I don't know why it's so hard to remember Marlene, she's quite unforgettable." Remus said, as he picked up his book.

My eyes widened and I turned to look at him. Could it be?! Did Remus like Marlene? Maybe Marlene should be with Remus, I mean they didn't have much in common but she could certainly make Remus happy. Marlene and Sirius were a better match in my opinion but maybe they wouldn't like dating someone who was so, like them, I suppose.

"Remus, do you like her?" I said, ecstatic.

His eyes widened and I watched his face turn red, "No! No, I don't. I really don't! I just meant that she was unforgettable because everyone knows she's famous for her bat-bogey hex. I do not like her."

I laughed loudly and slapped him on the shoulder, making him wince. "Of course not, Moony! Love comes gradually."

He groaned, "Please don't meddle in my personal affairs."

I sighed, "Fine. Maybe I'll find another match for you - someone more Remus-like."

Remus ignored me and turned his head to look at the lake, I watched as a thousand emotions crossed his face at once. I stared at his face, was he acting so weird? He then grabbed his school bag and got up, before turning around and angrily looking at me.

"Josette just stop. You don't-" He let out a frustrated huff "Even if I wanted a girlfriend you know I can't! I can barely keep a friend! I can't get close to anyone in fear of knowing that they could find out what I actually am. I'm a monster! Do you know how hard it is? Watching everyone be happy and knowing I can't ever have that!"

I was taken aback. All I was trying to do was to make him happy and he ends up yelling at my face? I wasn't just hurt, I was surprised as hell! He was the one who was supposed to be calm and composed all the time. I was the temperamental one, not him.

I wet my lips and clenched my jaw, trying to control my temper. "Remus-"

He balled his fists and then erupted like a volcano,"No! just stop! Instead of being such an immature child why don't you do something useful for once in your life?!" His words cut like a sharp knife.

"Guys.." Peter said, fear evident in his voice.

I dug my fingernails into my palm, trying to stop myself from slapping him in the face.

I watched Remus's face turn red as he said, "You don't need to interfere in everyone's lives you know!"

That was the last straw. I couldn't control my anger any more and I stood up, a furious look on my face. Me? Immature? He was the one with a permanent stick up his ass!

"Excuse you?! You just shut everyone out! Maybe if you weren't so afraid of getting hurt you'd see that there are so many people who would love to get to know you! I was just trying to help you and what do I get in return? You screaming in my face! You act like you're such a nice person but you know what you are? A self deprecating, self- absorbed prick!" I said furiously and then proceeded to shove him.

He didn't respond and I didn't allow him to because I was out of there, I didn't care about the fact that I had left my bag there. I just needed to leave and get away from all of his crap. I still couldn't believe it. Remus, the good and kind one. He rarely yelled and when he did it was never at me - never! I was so angry that I was running and with no idea where I was going. That was probably the best depiction of my life. Josie Longbottom, a girl who was constantly running with no idea where to go. I laughed bitterly as I felt tears prick my eyes. I was not going to cry. Especially not over someone as stupid as Remus Lupin.

"Hey Josie!" Someone called out at me, I looked up and saw that it was my brother, Frank. He was smiling his usual bright smile.

"Frank, this isn't a good time!" I said, irritated.

He then took in my state and his smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of concern, "Josie, you alright?"

I struggled to get words out of my mouth that weren't cuss words. "No, I am not okay. Just- I'm sorry but I have to go." I said as nicely as I could before I pushed past him and walked away.

Somehow I found myself on the astronomy tower. Classes here wouldn't start until midnight so I knew for sure that it was abandoned. I found a corner and just sat there, fuming with anger. What really annoyed me was the fact that Sirius and James didn't try to stop him! Before I realized it tears were falling freely from my eyes.

This was officially one of the worst days of my life.