Unspoken || Sirius Black

26.

I stood up and walked over to him. As usual, he looked perfect. But he was staring at me, blankly. A look that he had mastered for a long time exclusively for his relatives and I absolutely hated that look. It pained me to see him like this, cold and emotionless. Whenever a problem would arise in our group, a fight maybe. Remus and I would sort it out quickly, he was forgiving. He hardly held a grudge. Peter and I never fought. James and I eventually would work it out because we never stayed mad at each other. But Sirius, however. Sirius was a whole other problem.

Sirius was the kind of person who hardly let anyone in, of course if I had grown up in a place where I was treated like I was a mistake, I would act the same way too. To me, Sirius Black was always wearing a mask. To the students, he was the ultimate bad boy - the one everyone either wanted to be, or wanted to be with. To the teachers? He was a troublemaker. But to us? The people who actually saw him? Sirius Black was hurt. How did he mask his pain? By acting like he didn't care. The best way to describe him is by an expression I had once heard: Either be a wolf or get eaten by wolves.

I could only imagine how painful it was to hear one of your only friends tell you that you meant nothing to them.

I fumbled with my hands, "Sirius, I- we need to talk." I said, earnestly.

He raised a brow and crossed his arms nonchalantly, "What is there to talk about?" Sirius asked, coolly.

There it was. His 'I don't care about anything attitude' with also a little bit of 'why are you even talking to me' - the same attitude I received when I first became friends with everybody. It was the first clue that he was shutting me out. James cleared his throat and somehow got the profound idea that Sirius and I needed to talk because he stood up and said, "Well, I'm going to go explain everything to Remus and Peter. You can deal with him." He gave me a thumbs up as he walked up the stairs.

I took in a deep breathe and looked at the ground, I had planned out what I wanted to say to him. I was in control.

"Sirius, I- what you thought happened. Was not what really happened." I said, hoping that made sense. It didn't.

His face contorted to a look of confusion, "What do you mean?"

Like a kettle blowing off steam, I said all too quickly: "Sirius I didn't do anything it was Kenneth he did something to ruin my friendship with everyone because he's an evil little cockroach and I swear I didn't say those things and I didn't mean any of it I swear I don't know if you'll believe me or not but also Kenneth preformed a memory charm on me to make me forget. I would never say that you guys are my best friends in this entire world and I love all of you - I don't hate anyone - I'm innocent, I swear!"

"Kenneth did something to you? If he performed a memory charm, how do you know?" He said suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.

I looked up at him, "Well, so - I went outside and I saw the grey lady who somehow knew about my bruised hand," I lifted up my hand.

His eyeballs almost shot out of his skull and instinctively grabbed my hand, scanning it. "What the- Merlin, Josie- how'd you manage to do that? Can you go one day without hurting yourself?" He asked, concerned.

I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly, "That's not the point - The grey lady saw me and Kenneth fighting, she said she heard running and it was me. Kenneth was chasing after me, then we started to fight. I don't know about what, though. I slapped him and he took out his wand and at the same time I punched him. Which I guess is why the memory charm wasn't perfect. I could still remember bits and pieces." I said, honestly.