Unspoken || Sirius Black

34.

I didn't even have time to comprehend what had happened because before I knew it my lips were attached with his. It was like time had stopped for a moment, or maybe it had truly stopped. I wasn't sure. But, there was something missing. It felt wrong. It definitely was not James who turned out to be a better kisser than I thought. It was the fact that I was bloody kissing my best friend - it didn't feel right. Sure, I had a crush on him when I was in first year and he was cute, I'll give you that. But there wasn't that spark. The fireworks - it wasn't there. There wasn't anything at all - I couldn't feel anything and I quickly pulled away when I realised that.

Suddenly, It was like my brain had suddenly turned back on and I realised what had happened a moment ago, which automatically put my brain into panic mode. My jaw fell open and I stared stupidly at James. I stood up and then sat back down about twenty times and stared at him, not being able to form sentences. James was surprisingly calm and he looked at me with confusion as I freaked out in front of him. I couldn't keep my jaw shut and my heart was beating so fast it could probably pump enough blood to save thirty people. I couldn't believe he had just kissed me.

"What- how - why did you just do that - are you insane?" I spluttered, standing up and sitting down about twenty times. "Why did you just - GAH," I said, running a hand through my hair.

James gave me a strange look, "Josie, sit down! Merlin - I didn't ask for your hand in marriage!" He said as if he had done nothing at all. "Could you calm down?"

I gave him the same look I would give to a martian who dropped down to this planet to collect trees, "Calm down? You want me to calm down - he wants me to calm down. Ha!" I scoffed, "Why did you do that - do you want me to overthink things and eventually ruin our friendship? Also! Yes, this is bigger than my hand in marriage - it's like my foot in friendship!" I said, trying to contain my self. Badly.

James rubbed his forehead, shutting his eyes. "You're right - sorry, I'm sorry. That wasn't meant to happen. I acted on impulse." His eyes flickered to me, "I probably just ruined everything didn't I?" he groaned.

I took a deep breathe, sitting down. "I honestly - can not believe you just did that." I was surprised I even managed that sentence properly.

James gave me an apologetic look, "Sorry - Josie, I didn't - I needed to check okay?" he said as if what he was saying made sense. At all. Which it didn't.

I gave him a 'are you kidding me' look. "You needed to check what? For herpes? For asthma? Because I'm pretty sure I don't have that!" I felt like my mouth was saying random things, but I couldn't stop myself. "I do have seasonal asthma though, but that is not the point!"

James laughed, "I don't think you know what you're saying." He tilted his head to the side, "I needed to check if I had feelings for you." he said nonchalantly.

"So you can't just -I don't know, do something besides kissing me?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and avoided his gaze, "You know what, do me a huge favour and shut up. Like really shut up. Or I'm going to punch you. Or cry. Or break your glasses."

He gave me a strange look but complied. We stared at the street across us in silence and I put my chin on my knees. It was strange enough to find out that you were almost killed but when your best friend ends up kissing you - that kind of complicates things. A lot. I mean, I never really though of James that way. I mean, he was great and he was always around and he was adorable. But, it was always platonic. I didn't expect one kiss to just change how I felt about him and I'm sure he felt that way too.

James looked over at me and then began to laugh, "Is this our life? Full of mistakes and things that were never meant to happen?" he asked, with a small smile.