Think of me

twelve: the girl from the concert

Grayson

After I left Dom, Ronnie and Theo to find Ben, I had a few girls come up to me. They were touching my arms and other shit like that but I just brushed them off. There was plenty of time to chat up a girl if I felt like it later.

I walked across the garden towards the kitchen, I knew Ben was in there welcoming people and making drinks for them. Ben's a good guy, I'd trust him with anything. I won't admit it out loud but he is my best friend. He accepts me through everything, and I can tell him anything. Almost anything.

I headed towards the open double doors that led directly to Ben's kitchen. I could see a few people in there, but Ben stood out. He was taller than the rest of the people in there. When I looked closer I could see he was standing by the drinks table with two girls. The first one I recognised a little, I guess she went to my school. If I didn't talk to someone at school, I don't really know who they are since I'm hardly ever in school. That girl was blonde and wearing a tight little dress, just like every other girl. Next to her was a girl with long, dark hair. She was wearing a pink skirt and matching top.

I recognised the way the girl's hair flowed. And as she turned to pick up the shot that was on the table in front, I knew exactly who it was. The girl from the concert. The girl that won't leave my mind no matter how hard I try to forget her. It was pissing me off, she wasn't the typical type of girl I went for. And she made me act out.

What were the chances that she would be here? Why did Ben even invite her?

My anti-social ass decided to avoid the girl at all costs. I edged towards the open doors, hoping she wouldn't look in my direction. As I got there I slipped through the doors and speed-walked down the hallway and out of sight. I took the opportunity to go for a piss, then hopefully the girl would have left the kitchen by the time I got out.

Luckily enough, she had. I walked back down the hallway and into the kitchen where Ben was now standing with a few random people, getting them drinks. Once they had gone, I walked up to Ben and punched him in the arm.

'What the fuck was that for?' He shouted, holding his arm in the area that I punched him.

'Why the fuck did you invite that girl?' I was half whispering, half shouting at him.

'Which girl?' He looked confused.

'The one with really long hair.' I was about to dive into a detailed description, but I managed to stop myself before I made myself look like an absolute freak. 'You just gave her a shot, and she was with a blonde girl.'

'Oh yeah, Billie Simmons.' His face showed realisation and he remembered who I was talking about. 'Yeah she's mates with Maddie so I thought she could come along as well.' Her name was Billie. I had nothing to say. There wasn't actually anything wrong with inviting her. I was just worried that I might flip my lid again. That girl creates a weakness in me that I don't need anyone knowing about. I hid from her in the toilet for fuck's sake.

'Wait, what's so bad about her being here?' He asked.

'She's the girl from the concert.' I grunted. He made me repeat what I said because he didn't here me the first time.

'Oh shit.' He let out a small laugh, so I glared at him. 'I thought I recognised her.' He was still laughing so I punched him in the same place on his arm and he cried out in pain once again. I laughed at him, serves him right.

'Here.' Ben handed me a small glass with a shot of clear liquid in it. My body was telling me no, after the amount of times vodka has made me sick, but I ignored it and poured the drink into my mouth. The drink didn't really burn my throat anymore, I was used to the feeling. I poured myself a couple more shots, I needed them to get through this party.

We wondered out to the garden where most of the people were. There were people making out all over the place, and all I could hear was annoying drunk girls screeching all over the place. At least people were enjoying the party, I know Ben was worried that they wouldn't.

As we walked through the garden I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of that long hair. My eyes flew to any girl that I saw wearing pink or with dark hair. I was telling myself to avoid her, but there were so many people here it wasn't difficult.

But there was something else in my mind telling me to find her. I hated it. Why was this happening to me? No girl has ever made me want to see them before.

Then, after Ben and I had gone round saying hello to a few people, I saw her. She was standing with a group of people from my school. She wasn't really saying anything, just smiling and giggling. Obviously she'd had a bit to drink. Her hand was wrapped around her friend's arm. I longed to see those brown eyes again.

Since the concert, I keep seeing her eyes whenever I close my own. I tried to shake it, but nothing worked. I drank and drank and she still haunted me. And now I have the chance to look into them again. But knowing me, I wouldn't.

The thought of feeling like that scared me, maybe it was the way I was brought up. My parents fell out of love pretty much when they had me. And now they just think there's no point in doing anything about it. They gave up.

So I decided to keep my distance. I stood with Ben while he was talking to a group of people that I didn't know. But I positioned myself so I could watch what Billie was doing. She was still standing with that group, until her friend said something to her and they walked towards the kitchen. I put my head down as they walked past us, hoping she wouldn't see me.

Anyway, why did I assume she would recognise me? Maybe my feelings were one-sided. She might have forgotten about me completely.

For most of the night I watched as she followed her friend to different group of people. I could tell she was becoming more chatty as the night went on, and as she drank more. Every time she spoke to a boy, I felt a pang of jealousy in my stomach. Why? But then I shook it off and went to find a drink each time.

Eventually, I found my friendship group stood near the wall of the house. My head was spinning, but it was nothing that I wasn't already used to. I lent against the wall and the cold bricks felt good against the back of my head.

'Have a beer, mate.' Theo passed me an open beer. I thanked him and took a swig. To be honest, I've never really liked beer, but I drank it anyway.

The boys were laughing and having a good time. And, of course, Megan and Amy were there. Megan was all over Todd, as usual, and Amy was just standing there, as usual. I scanned the garden for Billie. I had lost her after she disappeared to get another drink. Part of me was watching her to avoid her, the other part was making sure she was okay.

I spotted her. She was in a group of people dancing with her friend. They had found a few other girls to dance with but I wasn't looking at them. She was swinging her arms about and singing along to the music. Her friend was trying to shake her arse, which didn't surprise me. But Billie was just having a good time. I had to stop myself from smiling. What was she doing to me?

And then she spun around and her eyes landed on mine.

Oh fuck.