Think of me

twenty two: you're still fucking drunk

Grayson

We'd been talking for ages, I lost track of time. I couldn't tell if we'd been there for half an hour, or three hours. I didn't really care that I was going to be tired in the morning for my rugby match. I was enjoying just sitting here and chatting. I'd never spoken this much in a long time. I've never had a girl to talk to like this, and I'm the quiet one of the group at school. And of course I never spoke to my parents. So this was nice.

I kind of shat myself when Billie said she had two older brothers. That put a lot of pressure on me to be the nice person they'd expected me to be. I didn't really have to worry about my anger getting the best of me with her. She made me calm. It was everyone else I had to worry about. Especially if another guy was going to try and get involved. 

I had my arm around her while we were sitting on this bench. I could tell she was sobering up quite quickly, I guess brownies were a good alcohol absorber. But it must have been two in the morning now, and it was a winter night. She started shivering next to me and I realised she only had a little top on, and no coat.

'Here.' I leaned forward and took my jacket off, handing it to her. She looked like a child on Christmas. 'You must be freezing.'

'Thanks.' She put the jacket on. It was massive on her but it still looked better on her than on me. 'If you get cold you can have it back.' She said.

'Nah, its fine.' I said. The cold was already cutting through my hoodie but I didn't pay it any attention.

'When am I going to see you next?' Billie said, looking up to me with those huge brown eyes.

'You could come to my rugby match next week.' I suggested. Some of the boys on the team had girls come and support them every week but that never appealed to me, until now. 'You'll probably be too hungover to come tomorrow.' I laughed.

'Yeah you're right.' She laughed with me. 'Okay, well I'll come next week then. And if Ben's playing maybe Maddie could come too.' It was a bit of a coincidence that the girl I was interested in was best friends with the girl my best mate was interested in, but it worked out well.

I found myself just staring into Billie's eyes. She was staring back. Our faces were close now. I could feel her warm breath on my face and I'm sure she could feel mine as well. I wanted to kiss her so badly. This was all new for me, I'd never felt this way. I especially had never kissed a girl that I had feelings for. 

I moved my gaze from her eyes to her lips. They looked soft and welcoming, and I wanted to know what they felt like. I brought my hand her her face. Her skin was cold from this bitter night but my hands were probably colder. I held her face in my palm and ran my thumb over her lips. I was right, they were soft. 

Without realising, our faces had creeped closer to each other. We were so close that I could have kissed her then and there. But I didn't. I pulled my hand away from her face and turned my head to look back at the view, sighing.

'You're still fucking drunk.' I said, disappointed. I could have taken advantage of the fact that she still wasn't completely sober, but it didn't feel right. She wouldn't really have had much control over her actions. What if she regretted it in the morning?

I looked back down at her to see if she was alright but she had a very slight smirk on her face. I was a little confused but when she laced her fingers in mine I was reassured that I had made the right decision.

'I think we should go.' Billie whispered. I nodded and stood up, pulling her up with me. 

We strolled back to my car. She could get in by herself now so I walked round the other side of the car while she climbed in. I grabbed her hand before setting off. We didn't really talk during the journey, but we didn't need to. It wasn't awkward at all. I could see Billie looking at me out the corner of my eye so I turned my head to look at her but she just smiled and turned away.

Soon enough we had arrived at her house. It was now 2.30am and I wasn't even tired yet. When I pulled up to her house, I parked on the road. She didn't get out straight away.

'Oh, you need your coat back.' She said as she undid her seat belt.

'It's fine.' I said. 'You can keep it until you come to the game.' To be honest it didn't really matter to me that she had the jacket. I probably wouldn't need it at school or anything so it was fine. When I said that Billie wrapped the coat back round herself and zipped it up.

'Now go inside, your brothers are probably wondering where you are.' I said. I wasn't really sure why I told her to leave, I guess I didn't want her to feel bad for leaving.

'Okay, well I'll see you next week.' She said. She opened the car door and hopped out the car.

'Text me!' I shouted just before she slammed the door shut. I watched as she ran up to her front door and let herself in. She waved to me before closing the door behind her.