Think of me

twenty nine: I like the new me

Billie

Over the next few weeks Grayson took me out on so many dates that I lost track. We both had school so he would come and pick me up after school sometimes and take me out. We tried to see each other as much as possible and, to be honest, we couldn't get enough of each other. I learnt so much about him, where he grew up, what he likes and dislikes and so much more. I found myself opening up a lot more as well. No one had ever got me talking like Grayson did, apart from Madison of course.

Grayson always had me laughing. When I first met him, he was very private and he was definitely not chatty. But now, he was always smiling and there was never a moment of awkward silence between us. Sometimes I just caught myself staring at him for no reason.

-

One of our first official dates was when Grayson took me to the cinema to watch the latest horror movie. I've never really been into scary films but I thought it would be fun so I agreed to go with him. I found out that day that Grayson was scared of nothing! He didn't jump once during the whole film.

When we sat down Grayson put his arm around my shoulders and we sat snuggled up in the dark. I was gripping onto Grayson's hand so tight that I'm surprised it wasn't broken by the end. I was using his hand to hide my eyes during the scary parts, and every time something made me jump, Grayson would burst out laughing. I think Grayson was watching me more than the movie, but I wasn't complaining.

I really wasn't a PDA kind of person, and if I ever saw people kissing in public I felt a little uncomfortable. But in that cinema it took all of my might not to snog Grayson's face off. I guess there was something about sitting in the cinema in the dark that just seems like a good place to kiss someone. But I resisted until we were safely in the privacy of his car.

- 

We went out with Grayson's friends a couple of times. There weren't any parties but Grayson's mate, Theo, invited us for some drinks round his. Maddie and Ben were there as well. Those two had made it official already so I had received a phone call from Maddie earlier that week. She was squealing down the phone to me, saying that she was now Ben's girlfriend. And, of course, I squealed along with her.

When Maddie told me that, I did feel a little bit jealous. If Grayson had asked me I would have said yes without even thinking about it. But I figured that Maddie and Ben go to the same school so they get to see each other more often, it only made sense.

-

Grayson and I also went to the look-out point a couple of times. The same spot that Grayson took me to after Jack's party, to eat the brownies. We mostly went up there when it was dark, which was starting to get earlier and earlier since it was December. 

We got a takeaway pizza one day and took it up to the look-out point to eat it together. Other times we just went there to be alone together and have a chat. And then there were the times that we didn't say anything at all. Instead, Grayson would just hoist me onto his lap and kiss the living daylight out of me. It was getting harder and harder for me not to rip his clothes off, but I resisted because it was never the right time.

-

Around mid December, after we had both broken up from school for the holiday, Grayson and I traveled up to London for the day. It was nearly Christmas so everything in London was decorated with lights, tinsel and snow.

Grayson forced me to go ice skating with him, even though I hated it. As soon as we were on the ice, I gripped the railing and refused to let go. That was until Grayson pulled me into the middle of the ice skating rink. He was stronger than me so there was no point in me trying to resist. I held onto his hand tightly and didn't move my legs an inch. Instead, Grayson started pulling me along the ice. He was surprisingly good at ice skating. It was partly because his parents used to take him when he was younger, and partly because he wasn't scared of falling over.

By the time our hour on the ice was over, Grayson had managed to get me ice skating round the rink with only one hand clinging onto him! I had fallen over a million times, but Grayson caught me when I fell so I wasn't complaining about it.

By the time we'd finished ice skating it was getting dark. So we decided to walk down Cannon Street to see the Christmas lights. The streets were absolutely packed so Grayson pulled me down a nearby side side street. Which, to our surprise, led us to a quieter road that was filled with the most beautiful decorations I had ever seen. There were little shops with the windows filled with tinsel, fake snow and Christmas displays. And hung between the buildings were huge Christmas lights of angels and bells. My mouth was hung open as I walked down the street, looking at all of the lights. Grayson was behind me with his hands on my waist, but I knew he was thinking the same as me.

'This is amazing.' I said. I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

'You like it?' He asked, smiling down at me. He looked a little nervous but I couldn't tell if it was just my imagination. I decided not to say anything about it.

'Yes, it's perfect.' I said to him, with a huge grin on my face.

'Well then,' He started. He took a deep breath before carrying on. 'I need to ask you something. Because you make me feel fucking insane. I don't know what you've done to me but I'm a completely different person. But I like the new me, so I think you should probably stick around a bit.' He laughed nervously, and I laughed with him to make him feel a bit more relaxed. I wasn't completely sure where this was going, but I had a slight idea. I didn't want to get my hopes up though, just in case.

'I think so too.' I said, reassuring him.

'So, Billie, I... oh fuck.' He laughed. 'I'm so bad at saying stuff like this.'

I placed my hand on his cheek, trying to calm him. 'It's okay.' I whispered, looking into his emerald eyes.

'Look, I really, really like you and I just want us to take the next step, you know?' He said. 'Basically, I'm just trying to ask if... will you please be my girlfriend?' He finally blurted out. His eyes were wide, waiting for my response.

'Yes! Yes! Yes!' I cried, jumping into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I could feel him smile into the kiss and I did the same. I had been waiting for him to ask me, pretty much since we met. We had a connection that I couldn't explain and every time I thought about him, my stomach filled with butterflies.

For the rest of the evening, until we got home, we couldn't stay away from each other. Our fingers were entwined, he had his arms round me, I had my arms round him. And whenever there was a quiet moment we stole a kiss. By the end of the night my cheeks hurt from smiling.

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