Artifice - Man x Man - Book Six

Chapter 26

I opened up to him; he was once my best friend. Even if he looks very different now, he was still Tonic, was he not? Maybe now more so than when I knew him. He had that familiar air to him, that friendliness, the gentleness that I missed before he took Verando's place and went off to war. 

I watch those mechanical limbs, how they shift and clink as his body moves. The cool metal touches my leg and I want to shy away from it. "Tonic, do you think I was wrong?"

He ponders this, mulling it over as he watches our legs as if there were some hidden answers in the way they brush against each other. "I think..." He tries, almost looking as if he's deciding against answering. 

When will I learn that sharing with these people is bad for my health? The longer I sit here, the more I dwell on that night together in Marisol's bar, and the more I begin to think about Tonic's ulterior motives, who knew very well that Marisol was alive. 

"I think asking him to go through being drawn on and revived is unfair. It's painful; it has to be. You don't have to see it as we do, and.. what if we can't get him back? You know his tendencies, Verando is not necessarily fond of being, well, alive. Sometimes I think he's just waiting for an excuse, I know he'd never do it but... That is not a life I would play with." 

Little does Tonic know just how close Verando has come to taking his own life. I run a hand through my hair, tilting my head back into the wall. It wasn't the answer I thought he'd throw at me, but I can tell he's guarding, as he puts his father into an odd light, as if that would sway me to throw in the towel. 

That hopeful tone, the glint in his eyes, we are here for two different reasons.

How could I ask Verando to do something, multiple times over again, for my benefit when I knew it was something he struggled with? 

"Damn it..." I sigh. It's so easy to forget the looming darkness, to fade out of the dream creature and focus on the man in front of me. Often times it took me completely off guard, to think that he was on the brink at times. 

"Your father is a very complicated man." 

Tonic laughs in response, tilting his head back against the wall to watch me with a look of endearment that makes me squirm, uncomfortable with being watched. I touch his leg, squeezing the thigh above the mechanical portion. "Tonic..." Stop. I changed the subject. I don't need to give him any more reason to get his hopes up. "Do they hurt?"

"Oh, my leg and arm? No, not at all. See these?" He holds out the hand, spreading his fingers so I can see the glittering green veins that run under the metallic slats. "They are artificial nerves, just like skin does. I can sense touch and feel, not really textures but the pressure and weight. No pain, but it's quite realistic. They make skin that goes over it but I do like it like this." 

He smirks, shrugging. Leave it to Tonic to like having fake limbs, to find the positive in such a loss. "I feel stronger than I did when I had all my limbs, I guess. It happens, the war was tough, but we won in the end, that's all that matters." 

I turn his hand over, inspecting the near-perfect replica of a human hand and forearm.

"It's attached to your bone?" 

He nods.

"Right at the shoulder. Technology sure has come a long way. I would really like Verando to let Tonya take a look at his shoulder, I bet they could replace it." The thought makes me hesitant. Replace an entire shoulder blade? It seemed like a lot of muscle to cut through and risk for what might be a minimal reward.

 It would put him out of commission for some time, I'd imagine; people die in surgery all the time- in our time, at least. My warlord was rubbing off on me, raising my suspicions.