chapter six: "mia."

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[luke hemmings]





when i was sixteen, i fell in love for the first time.

her name was mia, and i thought she was it for me.

for three years, she was my everything. we did everything together. according to our friends, our relationship was so sweet, it was almost sickening.

she was beautiful, and she knew it for sure.

but you wouldn't believe how quickly everything changed.

she woke up one morning, and she wouldn't stop vomiting. we thought it was just a bug, that she'd get better soon. she didn't.

she started gaining weight, and she still wouldn't stop vomiting.

we were too young to realise how bad this could've been. we didn't got to the doctors, until my mom insisted.

they ran a load of tests, before they came to us with the 'good' news.

mia was pregnant.

i was ecstatic. i was finally gonna be a dad. sure, we were young, but if anyone could do this, we could.

mia, however, thought the opposite.

she cried. she screamed. she blamed me, she said it was all my fault. she said it would ruin her figure, that she didn't want to be ugly.

she wanted an abortion.

but, there was one problem, she was too far along for an abortion to be legal. the doctors said that there were options, that we could put the child up for adoption.

but i knew i wouldn't be able to do that. i wanted to be a dad so bad, i'd even do it by myself i had to.

so that's what i did.

mia didn't want anything to do with me. she stayed away from me, only seeing me during check ups. she didn't want anything to do with the baby either. as soon as he was born, she fucked off to perth and never looked back.

not once did she call. not once did she ask to see him. not once did she try and support me, or him. she didn't send birthday cards. i sent her invitations to his birthday parties, but she didn't respond.

i did everything by myself.

i watched louis grow. i woke up in the middle of the night when he had nightmares, and stayed with him until he fell asleep. i watched him take his first steps, and heard him say his first words. i bought him his first pair of shoes, and i taught him how to swim.

calum and michael were there for me if i needed them, but they were nothing compared to what mia could've been.

i used to think everything would be so much better with her by my side, but as louis grew, i slowly began to realise how little i really needed her. we were doing just fine without her.

but that doesn't mean i don't miss her. i still cry for her.

louis looks so much like her, it hurts. she broke me, completely, and people aren't easy to fix.

i keep going, no matter how hard it gets sometimes. i keep going for louis. for cal. for michael. for the hope that one day, i'll find someone better than mia. for the hope that one day, i'll find love again. and when i find it, this time, i gonna keep hold of it for as long as i can.





[carmen leigh]





"LEGALLY BLONDE IS BETTER!"

"NO IT ISN'T, YOU TRAITOROUS BITCH! ASHTON, TELL HER MEAN GIRLS IS BETTER!"

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