Let Go: Winterwidow

Part 8: Sleepless Nights

The night wasn't any more peaceful than the day had been. Steve fussed in his little spot next to the hospital bed, and Natasha had to constantly feed him. Bucky had passed out in his spot next to his wife in the bed to which she was grateful. He deserved proper rest and she was more than happy to take care of the baby while he slept.

Currently it was around 2 a.m., and Steve had hiccuped and awoke with a wail. Natasha groaned and rubbed her eyes, leaning over Bucky to lift Steve out of his crib and cradle him in her arms.

"Shh~" she whispered tiredly as Steve cried, "I'm here, I'm here..."

She rocked him gently as he waved his little fists. Natasha brought him close and kissed his tiny head softly. He was so miniature, much more so than the doctors had expected. He had been born earlier than they had said as well, and he was extremely underweight. But that didn't make her or Bucky love him any less. They adored their son and wanted the world for him, even though they had only known him for less than a day.

Natasha stroked his fuzzy tuft of blonde hair and kissed the top of his head. Steve quieted somewhat and his cries were reduced to small whimpers instead.

"That's it babydoll," she spoke softly and smiled at her baby. He cooed and reached up to touch her face softly. She yawned deeply and laid back with him in his arms, snuggling him gently. "Sleep now my love."

Steve yawned and his eyelids slowly started drooping over his large blue eyes. She sighed softly as he slowly fell back asleep in her arms. She still felt dreadfully tired, but she couldn't seem to fall asleep. She was worried about Steve and his poor health. She didn't want to wake up tomorrow to realize she had lost her child in the night. All of her anxiety was keeping her fatigued body awake, and she wasn't pulled out of that state until she felt an arm wrap around her waist and a kiss placed on her cheek.

"Sleep Nat..." Bucky's groggy voice whispered in her ear. She closed her stinging eyes and adjusted her hold on Steve.

"I can't," she replied quietly so as not to wake the baby, "he might need me soon..."

"Let me be on baby-duty," he chuckled softly and slowly pried Steve away from Natasha, placing him carefully back into his crib. "You need to rest more than anyone."

Natasha wanted to protest, but she felt herself growing more and more tired. Bucky gave her a soft look and caressed her cheek softly. "Sleep, Mamma."

She smiled and nuzzled into him softly, feeling herself relax, losing the tenseness she didn't even realize she had. Bucky held her close and ran his hands reassuringly through her red locks of hair. She sighed deeply into his chest and felt sleep finally coming to her.

"Thank you, James..." she whispered.

***

About 45 minutes later, Steve woke up again with his weak cries. Bucky blinked and sat up carefully so he didn't wake Natasha, and reached over to Steve's crib. He scooped him up and bounced him slightly to keep his volume down.

"Hey, I know, I know," he said, desperately rocking him back and forth. He brought him close and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Work with me little man, c'mon Mamma's trying to sleep."

Steve continued to wail as Bucky sighed, slipping out of the bed and into a chair next to the bed. Tears rolled down his chubby cheeks and dripped onto Bucky's shirt. Bucky did his best to calm Steve down by making silly faces and whispering praises to him. Eventually Steve choked down on his sobs and whimpered quietly.

"Good boy Stevie," Bucky grinned tiredly and brought him close. "Let's get you back to sleep, pal."

Steve held on to Bucky's shirt with the fabric fisted in his small hands. He cooed as Bucky cradled him in his arms and hummed in an undertone. Bucky smiled softly and rocked him as he stood by the crib. Soon Steve closed his blue eyes and fell asleep once more.

Bucky leaned down and placed Steve back into the crib. He then watched Steve sleep for a while, deep in thought. It was still so hard to believe that he finally had a kid of his own. He stroked Steve's cheek softly before heading back to the bed and laying down next to Natasha, who was dozing softly. He sighed happily.

He finally had a family of his own, and he could easily say he was the happiest man in the world.

***

About a week later Steve was officially released from the hospital. The happily little family made its way to their car and piled their various things inside. Bucky placed their new baby carrier in the back seat and struggled to buckle it in as Natasha held Steve.

"How on Earth..." he muttered and cursed as the mechanism refused to work. "Dammit, Nat how do you-"

Natasha pulled him away, shaking her head with laughter. "Let me do it."

Bucky grumbled as she handed him the baby and walked over to the door. She leaned inside and adjusted the carrier skillfully before clicking it into position on her first try. She turned back to see Bucky gaping at her. She smiled innocently and took Steve from him, gently placing him into the seat and buckling him in.

"Why so surprised honey?" she asked mockingly as she climbed into the passenger's side.

"You're magical," Bucky laughed and got in on the driver's side. He turned the keys in the ignition and Steve babbled in the back seat. "I don't know how you do it."

Natasha glanced behind to make sure Steve was situated before they drove off towards home. "Yes, well I'm excited to go home after a long week with Stevie," she said, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Me too. I think I'm his favorite," Bucky teased as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

Steve shoved his hand in his mouth and drooled all over it. Natasha laughed and leaned back to pull his hand out of his mouth. "In your dreams, Buck. I'm his mamma so naturally I'm his favorite."

"I don't need to dream about it," Bucky said as he continued to drive, "I'm living my dream."

Natasha quieted for a moment and just listened to Steve's cooing in his seat. She too thought that her life wasn't short of almost perfect, and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

She could, without a doubt, say that she was the happiest woman in the world.