Let Go: Winterwidow

Part 10: Morning Thought Cognations

Bucky sighed as he got up for work. He yawned deeply as he rolled out of his warm, plush bed and showered up for the day. The hot water trickled down his skin as he scrubbed himself clean, which made him even more tired if that were possible. He let the soap suds sit in his long locks of hair as he listened to the water pour onto the shower floor. It soothed his tired mind and let his imagination wonder for a while.

He was on the verge of losing his only job at a rather demanding office. They were letting a lot of their employees go these days, and he knew he was next. He was a salesman but the company couldn't afford to pay him any longer and they were going to announce bankruptcy any day now. He hadn't told Natasha yet because he didn't want to worry her; she already had her hands full with little Stevie anyway.

Steve was a little over a year old, and he was learning to walk by now. He needed a lot of attention because he had very poor health and Natasha refused to leave him alone for too long in fear that something would happen. Bucky was of course the same and worried for his baby's health as well. He worked as hard as he could every day to support his family, but money was slipping through their fingers like sand. They never got enough, and they were losing it too fast.

Natasha had offered to get a job, but that idea was quickly shot down when they couldn't find anyone who could watch Stevie during the day. No babysitter they looked up wanted to watch such a sickly baby, but they understood. Stevie was as sweet as could be and he rarely acted up, but his poor health was treated with medicines which were A, hard to give to him, and B, they had to be given to him at specific times during the day, and they didn't trust anyone with that responsibility. So they had agreed that Bucky was to stay with his job, and Natasha was to take care of Steve at home.

Which brings them back to the problem they have now. Money was tighter and tighter each month, and Bucky knew he was going to get laid off soon. He had been searching for other jobs ever since the office had started downsizing, but it wasn't looking any better. He was constantly under stress and when Natasha asked why, he simply waved her off saying it was nothing. The last thing he wanted was to upset and worry his wife.

So he decided to go it alone and try to get another job without telling her. Now that he thought about it more openly, the plan sounded like a terrible idea. Keeping secrets from his wife... but he was trying to protect her, so wasn't that justifiable? As long as he could find a job by tomorrow, that shouldn't be a problem. He would tell her once he was sure that his job circumstances were stable again, not to mention the fact that they were on the verge of eviction from their apartment as well.

He sighed and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist to cover his modesty when he saw Natasha leaning against the doorframe in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. He spun around and faced her, feeling panic rise up in his stomach. She didn't figure it out, did she?

"Morning Nat..." he said casually as her gaze roamed around his bare body. "Sorry if I woke you, I just needed to take a shower before work and all-"

"You seem nervous," Natasha cut him off cooly, standing and walking from her place on the doorframe to wrap her arms around his wet neck. "That's not a good look on you Barnes."

Bucky swallowed as she gazed into his eyes with a rather fierce look. His stomach did a backflip when she ran a hand down his bare spine and made him shiver slightly at her gentle touch. She leaned forward and ghosted her lips over his, making him blush slightly as she backed him into the wall.

"Nat, I-" Bucky was silenced as she pressed her fingertip against his full lips.

"Don't think you can get anything past me," she whispered, giving him an almost enticing look, "I know more than you think I do."

Bucky wanted to just run away and throw himself into a dark closet. He felt so guilty for keeping things from her, of COURSE she'd known!

"I know you're gonna lose your job James and I know we are about to lose the apartment... You don't have to keep things from me if you're scared I'm going to get upset. What upsets me most is that you didn't just tell me about your job. I could've figured out the eviction on my own though."

"N-Natasha... I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Bucky began, but she just shook her head and smiled, tracing his jawline gently.

"Shh, just please tell me things in the future, no matter how scary or upsetting they'll be," she whispered as he leaned into her touch. "Promise me, James."

Bucky brought his gaze back to her large eyes as he found his hands sliding up her waist to hold her. Her expression softened slightly as he brought her close in a strong, and slightly wet embrace.

"I promise I'll tell you things in the future," he said, smiling into her fiery hair.

She pulled back slightly and gave him a rather passionate kiss, which suited him just fine as he deepened it with love-filled affection. She tangled her hands in his wet hazel locks of hair and broke away to breathe before planting another kiss to his lips. He held her firmer as she did so and gladly obliged to more of her sweet kisses.

Oh, how he loved his wife. He loved how she knew exactly what to say, and how to handle tough situations, especially when under so much pressure. He wanted to take care of her and prove to her that he could be a faithful husband.

He just feared the end of his employment would really get in the way of their lives.